Nancy Drew in "The
Sweet Hereafter".
- John Rogers, screenwriter, describing Veronica at his "Kung Fu Monkey"
blog
An amateur sleuth who
is closer in spirit to Philip Marlowe than to Nancy Drew... It may not
be Raymond Chandler, but "Veronica Mars" is nevertheless quite hard-boiled.
- Alessandra Stanley, "New York Times"
Veronica is an affecting
amalgam of Holden Caulfield, Philip Marlowe, and Miss Marple.
- John Leonard, reviewing "Veronica Mars", "New York Metro"
Veronica Mars is a
sharp teen noir in the making. Tinged with class resentment and nostalgia
for Veronica's lost innocence, this series pulses with promise.
- from "The Village Voice"
"This is, hands-down,
the best show on television right now, and proof that TV can be far better
than cinema."
- Kevin Smith, Film Director
"Best. Show. Ever.
Seriously, I've never gotten more wrapped up in a show I wasn't making,
and maybe even more than those... These guys know what they're doing on
a level that intimidates me."
- Joss Whedon, creator of 'Buffy'
So what is it about
noir that makes it mesh so well with adolescence? Just as Buffy the Vampire
Slayer reinvigorated the teen television show by using vampires, werewolves
and demons as metaphors for the traumas of adolescence, so the use of noir
in a high-school setting illustrates the closed nature of schools, in which
you're either in or out. Both Brick
and Veronica Mars play on this: Brendan eats his lunch alone around the
back of the school, deliberately apart from the crowd; Veronica is frequently
shown eating by herself as the action whirls around her. 'I wanted to create
a character who was so far down that her outlook was: "There's nothing
anyone can do to me now. I've been through it all,"' Thomas says. 'I wanted
a teenage girl who no longer got embarrassed or worried about what others
said about her, or fretted over what she was going to wear.' This follows
the noir tradition in which the hero is always an outsider who finds it
difficult to trust anyone for fear of being betrayed. Philip Marlowe might
yearn for love but he never finds it; he remains a loner at heart.
- Sarah Hughes, "The Observer"
[#1 Pilot]
This is my school.
If you go here, your parents are either millionaires or your parents work
for millionaires. Neptune, California, a town without a middle class. If
you’re in the second group, you get a job; fast food, movie theatres, mini-marts.
Or you could be me. My after-school job means tailing philandering spouses
or investigating false injury claims.
- Veronica's opening voiceover
"Girl, you should hear
what people say about you."
- Wallace to Veronica
"Tonight, we eat —
like the lower middle class to which we aspire."
- Keith, celebrating a win
"Well if it isn’t Smokey
the Barely Legal."
- Fireman Phil to Veronica
[#2 Credit Where Credit's Due]
"I need you to copy
all of Weevil’s attendance records from this past month and get them to
me."
"Do I look like James
Bond to you?"
"Am I asking you to
retrieve a nuclear warhead? No. Just copy the attendance records."
- Veronica and Wallace
"Flat?"
"Just as God made
me."
- Troy, offering to help Veronica with her tyre
They gave me a choice.
I could stand by my dad, or stand by Duncan and my dead best friend’s family.
I chose Dad. It’s a decision I live with every day.
- Veronica, thinking about her exile from the cool clique
"Haven’t you heard?
I’m not allowed in the first class cabin."
"Look. I don’t believe
in much but I do believe in this. When sexy, sassy girls can’t come to
a shindig of mine, it’s time for all parties involved to stand up and just
admit that, hey, maybe I was a little bit wrong or sorry."
- Troy, inviting Veronica to a party
"I guess this is what
they call inevitable, huh? Hey look, you even got home court advantage."
- Logan, preparing for a showdown with Weevil
[#3 Meet John Smith]
The weird thing about
going to high school with your ex is they’re inescapable. Everywhere you
turn, there they are.
- Veronica, thinking about Duncan
"You know, Dad, I’m
Old School. An eye for an eye."
"I think that’s actually
Old Testament."
- Veronica and Keith
"Helping a kid at school
locate his deadbeat dad, the somewhat inconveniently named John Smith."
- Veronica, describing her latest case
"What are you doing?"
"It is now booty call
enabled."
- Veronica, catching Troy putting his number into her phone
Brain? Check. Dead
sexy? Check. Devilish charm? Check. Formidable Scrabble opponent? Who cares?
- Veronica, thinking about things with Troy
"Ninety miles."
"What’s ninety miles?"
"It’s the distance
your dad travels every week to see you for a few seconds."
- Veronica and Justin
[#4 The Wrath of Con]
"Why do you insist
on suppressing your hotness? The world is ready for you Veronica Mars.
You don't have to blend in."
- Lilly, picking a dress for Veronica
"Hey, I'm only young
once. How many braless years do I have left?"
- Lilly, insisting on a revealing dress
This should make me
happy. The big dance being a staple of every high school girl's fantasy.
I've already lived the dream. Everything else seems like a cheap reminder.
- Veronica, thinking about Homecoming
"Okay, it's my turn?
Logan."
"Truth."
"What did you think
of Veronica the first time you saw her."
"...I don't know,
I thought she was hot."
"I was 12 when you
moved here!"
"Oh, and, like you
weren't working it in your shorts and your kneesocks."
"That was my [punching
him in the shoulder] soccer uniform!"
"So, whatever! It
totally worked!"
- Lilly, Logan and Veronica play 'truth or dare' (flashback)
"I've never taken matters
into my own hand in the boys' locker room after watching the cheerleader
tryouts."
- Logan, getting one over Duncan at 'I never' (flashback)
"What part of my ignoring
you makes you think you're welcome?"
- Logan to Veronica
[#5 You Think You Know Somebody]
"Wanna go ahead and
hand over your contraband? ...It works sometimes. Pop the trunk."
- The guys meet a customs officer who likes to bluff
"Dude, where's your
car?"
- Veronica, resucing a stranded Troy
"I think this is even
beyond your super powers."
"Haven't you heard?
I've got friends in low places."
- Troy and Veronica, looking for that car
"Next time, could you
shoot for an actual teacher? Because this has no potential benefit to my
grade point average."
- Veronica, teasing Keith about dating a counsellor
"What was on the menu
for this night of grand debauchery?"
"Let's see. From,
uh, eight to nine, we brainstormed on how to overthrow Kim Jong Il. From
nine to ten, we deleted the records of the black voters of Florida. After
that it was, uh, yeah it was all donkey shows."
- Veronica, asking Troy about Tijuana
People rarely cut all
their ties, even when they try. If she's out there and these untraceable,
disposable cell phones I'm sending to Mom's closest friends and family
reach her, maybe she'll realise it's safe for her to call me. It's my version
of a message in a bottle.
- Veronica, thinking about her Mom
"I'll be nice to your
boyfriend if you be nice to my girlfriend."
- Keith to Veronica
"Sometimes the lies
we let ourselves believe are for our own good."
- Ms Dent
"Keith, just pull the
band-aid off. The furrowed brow and the-the pauses are killing me."
- Rebecca, preparing for some bad news from Keith
"You got busted for
drug possession and trafficking! You never told me about it!"
"Maybe I would've.
You ever think of that? Maybe after I'd known you for more than a month,
I'd tell you my deep dark secrets. Or is that too much of a character flaw?
Waiting for the girl to like you before you tell her the things you're
not so proud of? I don't have to tell you that. You're Veronica Mars. You
know everything."
- Veronica and Troy
Sorry we didn't get
a chance to say goodbye, just wanted to wish you good luck at your new
school and leave you something to remember me by... In case you're wondering,
the former contents of the package are somewhere between my toilet and
the Pacific Ocean. Say hi to Shauna for me. She sounds like a keeper.
- Veronica's parting message for Troy
[#6 Return of the Kane]
"It's dessert for dinner
tonight."
- Veronica, eating well
"Look, I just don't
have time to be responsible for every little thing that goes wrong in your
life."
- Logan to Veronica
"Don't stop there,
Veronica. Say it. What's my usual way?"
"You stand idly by."
- Duncan and Veronica
On the one hand, we
have the hot cold ex-boyfriend and heir to the status quo. On the other,
the potentially duplicitous new friend and champion to the disenfranchised.
- Veronica, thinking about which way to vote
"I used to think that
solving the case was the key to our happiness. Solve the case and my reputation
is restored. Solve the case and your mom comes home. Solve the case and
you go back to being a normal teenage girl... What I believe in now is
that we make the most out of what we have here and now. I believe in going
to the zoo with the person I love the most."
- Veronica to Keith
[#7 The Girl Next Door]
"If I was gonna cheat,
don't you think I'd pick somebody smart?"
"If you *was* gonna."
- Weevil and Logan, at it again
"If I donate to the
United Latino Pain-in-the-Ass fund, will you shut the hell up?"
- Logan to Weevil
"You know, the glow
of your father's wealth and celebrity may be enough to sustain you through
high school, Mr Echolls, but do you know what it will get you in the real
world?"
"Please say 'high
school English teacher'."
- Mr. Daniels and Logan
"It sounded like a
falling body. It really freaked me out."
"Would you describe
the sound as Hitchcockian?"
- Veronica, discussing the noises upstairs with Keith
"You realize you're
paranoid."
"I do. Everyone reminds
me. But it doesn't mean I'm not right."
- Nathan and Veronica
"Think I've got a future
in the biz?"
"I think you've got
a future as a highly-paid, Ivy-League educated executive of some sort who
never thinks about private investigation again in her perfect life. Now.
Let's do something normal fathers and daughters do."
- Keith and Veronica
[#8 Like A Virgin]
"Somebody describe
second base to me. Tell me what it's like. Is it beautiful there?"
- Cole, to the rest of the guys
"Wow, you are 30% danger-lovin',
girl-touchin' rock star."
- Veronica, teasing Wallace about his 'purity test'
"I never thought I'd
say this. But I kinda can't wait for school tomorrow."
- Veronica, waiting for the purity test results
"Meg, you're the last
good person at this school. I'd believe cartoon birds braided your hair
this morning."
- Veronica to Meg
"I need to change the
password on my email account. Someone managed to figure out the old one."
"That's why your password
should always include numbers as well as letters. Everyone thinks its fun
to use the name of your dog or boyfriend, but that actually makes it easy
to crack."
"My old password was
GJ7B!X."
- Veronica and Rene from IT
"Stop talking about
my sister, Cole."
"You don't even like
her."
"Maybe not, but I
love her."
- Lizzie and Cole
"Am I naked? Because
in my nightmares, I'm usually naked."
- Veronica, finding out someone's hacked her email account
There's something seedy
about being the interruptus in someone else's coitus.
- Veronica, about to catch a couple unawares
"You dumb wanna-be
freak show."
- Pam to Kimmy
"I know how the law
works. Slowly."
- Keith
"I know who you are
Veronica Mars."
- Abel Koontz, seeing straight through Veronica's persona
[#9 Drinking the Kool Aid]
Do not roll your eyes,
Veronica. You're undercover.
- Veronica, trying not to laugh at the Cultists
"I'm so ashamed of
myself…for my meltdown last night. I was a rampaging jackass."
"Have you forgotten
who you're talking to? I'm Casey Gant, okay? I wrote the jackass Bible,
the jackass Koran, the jackass Talmud."
- Veronica and Casey
[#10 An Echolls Family Christmas]
"It's the new me. I
am projecting a ghetto aesthetic. Word."
- Sean, very much an 09er
"This is the worst
game of strip poker ever."
- Sean, not happy with Weevil's security check
"See, there you go
with that head-tilt thing. You know, you think you're all badass but whenever
you need something it's all, 'hey'."
"Just be glad I don't
flip my hair. I'd own you."
- Weevil and Veronica
"This is why I suggested
attack dogs. But no, my mother wanted an alpaca."
- Logan, after Veronica visits him at home
"Look at you, all helpful."
"Hey, your peskiness
being unleashed on Connor brings me joy. Annoy, tiny blonde one. Annoy
like the wind!"
- Logan and Veronica
"Mmm. Iced tea... Duncan
can't remember the alphabet when he drinks let alone figure out 20% of
the pizza bill. No, he didn't play drunk to steal your money, he played
drunk to win your money. To no avail it seems."
- Veronica, swigging Iced Tea from Duncan's whiskey bottle
"The background check
I ran on you proves that you've got a bit of a shoplifting problem. You
are really bad at it."
- Veronica to Sean
[#11 Silence of the Lamb]
"I hear you do detective
stuff for people."
"I do favours for
friends."
"I can pay."
"Sit down, friend."
- A student 'befriends' Veronica
"You should have consulted
me first."
"What did you want
me to do, consult you in pig-latin? He was standing right there!"
- Sheriff Lamb and Keith, after questioning a suspect
"Wanna crash a party
with me? It's my chance to see how the other half lives, especially since
I should have been the other half."
- Mac
Two words for you,
Clarence Wiedman: game on.
- Veronica (voiceover)
[#12 Clash of the Tritons]
"I don't want to talk
away my grief. I want to turn it into something else. Fuel. I know how
I'm gonna feel better and it's not by talking about how sad I am."
- Veronica, to Counsellor James
"La femme Veronica.
I heard it took three officers and a stun gun to haul your butt outta school."
"You must be the only
student who didn't see my walk of shame in person."
- Wallace and Veronica
"I need to ask another
favour."
"This mission better
involve me seducing the head cheerleader."
- Veronica and Wallace
"She was someone I
could have loved, you know? And she felt it too, I know she did."
- Weevil, remembering Lilly
"You're not being suspended.
The Vice Principal wants all three of us back here on Friday for a disciplinary
conference."
- Aaron to Logan
"Hi, Dad. Their case
is fuzzy and circumstantial."
"You know the odd
thing? Those were also her very first words."
- Veronica, discussing her arrest with Keith
Rick: "Big deal, this
money's mine. It doesn't prove anything."
Veronica: "Why don't
you take a closer look at the one on top. Read what's written over Grant's
head."
Lamb: (reading): "Veronica
Mars is smarter than me."
- after Rick falls for Veronica's trap
[#13 Lord of the Bling]
"Shouldn't you be doing
your homework instead of nagging me?"
"Next time, remember:
lift drunk, combative bail jumpers with your legs, not your back."
- Keith and Veronica, after he injures his back
"We used to be friends...a
long time ago."
- Veronica, using the theme song to describe her relationship with Yolanda
"He's the scariest
guy alive who's also launching a line of casual wear."
- Keith, on his client, a rap producer
"She hated all this,
she hated him. They didn't find a body because she's not dead. She just
escaped."
- Logan
"How's your sorority
speak?"
"Like awesome! Why?"
- Keith, asking a favour of Veronica
"How'd you guys find
me?"
"Whoever did this
was either really dumb or really smart... You're really smart."
- Bryce and Veronica
"Logan, what are you
doing here?"
"I want you to find
my mother."
- Veronica and Logan
[#14 Mars v Mars]
"Scholars! Thinkers!
Learned charges. You asked for it. You got it. World history review, roundup
and death match... Round one! Let's take a look at the board! The question
is what are five leading causes of the fall of the Roman Empire?"
- Mr. Rooks, inspiring his students
"Young teacher, the
subject of schoolgirl fantasy,
She wants him so badly
knows what she wants to be.
Temptation, frustration,
so bad it makes him cry.
Her bus stop, she's
waiting, his car is warm and dry.
Don't stand so, don't
stand so, don't stand so close to me."
- The cheerleaders taunt Carrie with "Don't Stand So Close To Me"
"I have done everything
I could to get to the truth... including using you. And I'm really sorry
about that. But I, I used you, then fell for you, not the other way around."
- Veronica to Leo
"Honey, you don't have
to get all blue in the face."
"You're patronising
me?"
"To be fair, I am
your patron."
- Keith and Veronica, after Keith sets a trap for her
"Why were you fired
from your last job?"
"Wow. Maybe I should
give more credence to the teacher's lounge gossip. Colleagues said you
were... unique. Gifted. Unsettling?"
- Veronica and Mr. Rooks
True pirates share
their booty.
- Veronica sends a risque text message to prove a point
[#15 Ruskie Business]
"Don't be stingy with
the glitter. Remember. It's an eighties dance."
- Duncan, organising the dance
When I've had my fill
of soul mates, glitter and puppy love, I always find a private detective's
office a refreshing change of pace... Nothing soothes the nausea, headache
and occasional dizziness of a romance overdose like a glimpse of the aftermath.
The custody battles, the affairs...
- Veronica (voiceover)
"You're on the basketball
team, right?"
"You obviously haven't
seen us play. I am the basketball team."
- Veronica and Wallace
"What is it with you
girls and your girly-girl drama? What are you now? A love detective?"
- Wallace
"You think that's some
kind of rare breed or something?"
"That or a drunk dingo
had a three-way with an ocelot and a porcupine."
- Veronica and Wallace, tracking down a dog
This is Logan with
today's inspirational greeting: the future belongs to those who believe
in the beauty of their dreams — Eleanor Roosevelt. Leave a message.
- Logan's voicemail message
"Maybe I'll see you
tonight when you and Sacks bust this party we're going to."
- Veronica to officer Leo
"The game is afoot."
- Veronica, walking into the dance
"Heads up. Risky business
at 12:00."
- Leo, as Logan does his best Tom Cruise impersonation
[#16 Betty and Veronica]
I searched for my mother
for the better part of a year. I doubt that Clarence Wiedman just happened
to find her the same night. He didn't know where to find my mother. He
knew where to find me.
- Veronica (voiceover)
"We don't really have
the money to hire a professional but I have noticed that you have certain...skills."
- Principal Clemmons, to Veronica
Go to any High School
in America and you can tell who the popular kids are. They travel in packs
of the biggest, the shiniest, and the prettiest.
- Veronica (voiceover)
Whoever said it's a
man's world had no idea how easy it is sometimes to be a girl.
- Veronica, making an entrance as 'the new girl' (voiceover)
A day in the life of
a human google. Always in search mode.
- Veronica, on the life of a PI
"Can you do me a weird
favour without asking any questions?"
"Isn't that the bedrock
upon which our friendship was founded?"
- Veronica and Wallace
"See, that's what you
do now. You take that deep breath like you're preparing for battle or something."
- Meg, to an uncomfortable Veronica
[#17 Kane and Abel's]
"A file on Duncan?"
"There's a file on
everyone."
"Yeah. It's thorough.
And I'm glad my alibi held up."
- Logan and Veronica, discussing Lilly's murder
"Hey, what do you think
Lilly would make of you investigating all the people who loved her?"
"I loved Lilly. Maybe
if I didn't I'd be able to drop this."
- Logan and Veronica
"Hey honey, what are
you doing on the floor in the corner?"
- Keith, to Veronica, after a bad day
"The Kanes had two
full-time housekeepers. My guess, they hadn't done their own laundry in
a very long time so give me one good reason why they would start a load
of laundry the night they found their daughter bludgeoned to death... Honey,
it was a soccer uniform I found in the dryer."
- Keith, with a clue for Veronica
[#18 Weapons of Class Destruction]
"You dad's cool with
us, right?"
"Like, has he made
a couple of remarks about the 29 month age difference? He has. On the other
hand, he likes the fact that you carry a gun."
- Leo and Veronica, on the front porch
"Our very real duty
to protect the student body trumps your non-existent right to a free student
press."
- Principal Clemmons to Miss Stafford
"So, are you working
on any interesting cases with your father?"
"Well, that Maltese
Falcon is still eluding us..."
- Meg and Veronica
"Dream on, Jump Street."
- Logan, to an undercover agent Ben
"Ppart of my job at
the ATF is monitoring internet traffic. Norris kept a website that was…troubling.
We discovered countless emails he'd sent to other students, lots of red-flag
words."
"Red-flag words?"
"Retribution, bomb,
arsenal, gun show, fertilizer, Waco, Columbine."
- Ben fills Veronica in
"So, this is my weapon
collection."
"You must feel really
safe at night, when the dragons come."
- Norris, giving Veronica a tour of his bedroom
"What did you ever
do before you met me?"
"Ever see the first
ten minutes of '2001: A Space Odyssey'? It was a lot like that."
- Mac, IT Expert and Veronica
"Mac, if you were planning
the Apocalypse on Friday, would you ask someone out on a date for that
weekend?"
"Me? That's the only
way I'd ask someone out."
- Veronica and Mac
But after all, well,
isn't this just a momentary thing. It's not like it's permanent or any
heavy thing?
It's not like I hoped.
It's not like I dreamed. It's not like I prayed. My hoped-for thing.
- Something Happens, "Momentary Thing", playing over that kiss
[#19 Hot Dogs]
"Honey, do I need to
recap my Concerned Dad lectures? No running with scissors, no candy from
strangers, no smartening up the local criminal element."
- Keith, after Veronica tutors Weevil
"Veronica Mars? This
is the coolest girl in Neptune High. She was gonna get expelled for planting
a spy cam in the teacher's lounge but she had so much dirt, they just let
her off."
- Hans
"Can I ask you something?"
"Hm. Will you look
at that? There was a string attached to my pop tart."
- Trina and Logan, after she makes him breakfast
"How many get-out-of-jail-free
cards do you have up your sleeve, anyway?"
- Weevil to Veronica
"Would it be weird
for me to start my own drinking game? Like I have to do a shot every time
someone asks for my help?"
- Veronica to Logan
"Can I ask you kind
of a weird question?"
"Do you ask any other
kind of questions?"
- Veronica and Leo
"All this time you've
had Lilly Kane research in a box marked 'Playboys' in the closet?"
"Well, I figured it'd
be safe there."
- Veronica and Keith
[#20 M.A.D.]
"You know what's going
to happen, Veronica? I gonna end up a downloadable national joke. You know,
right up there with Paris Hilton or that 'Star Wars' kid. I'll be the video
that everyone emails their friends, you know, just google popsicle girl
and there I'll be for the rest of human history. And I can't stop him."
"Unless you had something
that would ruin Tad back. You know, get your own A-bomb and it prevents
him from launching a first strike. Mutually Assured Destruction."
- Carmen and Veronica, launching their own Cold War
"Hey, do you think
this thing…will ever get more normal?"
"What, like will we
ever hang at the mall and hold hands and buy each other teddy bears with
hearts that say 'I wuv you bear-y much'?"
"Yes, exactly that.
Except I want my bear won through some sort of demonstration of ring tossing
ability."
"Well, secrets are
kinda hot, too."
- Veronica and Logan
"So, how are you Veronica?"
"Embarrassed. Uncomfortable."
- Aaron and Veronica
"I like what I see
in him when he's with you."
- Aaron to Veronica
"The navy's got that
don't ask, don't tell thing. If we tell, they're gonna ask."
- Veronica to Tad
"But why take the bus
when you can drive your very own rustbucket? I had my dad's driver pick
it up. Full of fresh stolen parts, ready to go."
- Logan to Veronica
Of course, they have
to have something sensible like a password to prevent people like me from
doing what I'm trying to do.
- Veronica, blocked off by an account password
Carmen and I don't
remember the same night.
- Veronica, on the track of a cold trail
[#21 A Trip to the Dentist]
"Of all the countries
under military dictatorship in all the world..."
- Keith, 'bumping into' Duncan in Cuba
"It's kind of a bad
time."
"Okay. So I should
come back when, never? That work for you?"
- Veronica and Logan
"What can I do to make
it better?"
"I'm going to find
out who did this to me and I'm going to make them pay. Even if it was you."
- Logan and Veronica
"Um, can we skip English
today? I have some sort of Hemingway related narcolepsy. You start talking
about 'The Sun Also Rises' and I start falling asleep."
- Meg
The whole ritual cleaning
thing is textbook for a reason. For a couple of minutes, you're in control
and everything's the way it should be, at least on the surface.
- Veronica, cleaning everything in sight
"You see another special
on dust mites?"
"They're disgusting,
they're everywhere, and they must be destroyed."
- Keith and Veronica
[#22 Leave It To Beaver]
"I'm sorry. I freaked
out. That night in the guest house, we were like crossing over into something
and I don't know, all of a sudden I just felt really weird and guilty and
I started thinking about Duncan and about Lilly and it wasn't the easiest
night to begin with."
- Veronica to Logan
"You're not trying
to burn a hole through a stack of paper using only the power of your stare
again?"
- Veronica to Keith
"Do you know what you
just signed away?"
"There's nothing that
I want from them."
"Nothing. You didn't
sign away a thing."
- Keith and Veronica, discussing the Kanes' offer
"The Echolls kid. What'd
you find out?"
"Among other things,
I'm pretty sure he's dating your daughter. That girl of yours — she's pretty
hard-boiled, huh?"
- Keith and Sheriff Lamb
"I bet on you, and
I lost. I've been doing that my whole life. And I'm through."
- Veronica to Lianne
"I was hoping it would
be you."
- Veronica, opening a door and closing the season
#