AUGUST 1-3


PREVIOUS | NEXT | HOME | CONTENTS | ABOUT | SEND EMAIL

Resplendent Reef, Delightful Diving, Funky Fish

Saturday, August 1; Cape Tribulation

This was going to be a big day. Scuba diving around the underwater landscape of the largest living organism in the world - the magnificent coral of the Great Barrier Reef - and swimming amongst the countless species of fish who dwell in, on, under and around it. It was one of those uniquely Australian holiday experiences, like visiting Uluru and seeing the Sydney Opera House. I was a bit concerned that a diving trip from a remote budget resort like Cape Tribulation might not have the high competitive standards of a trip from Cairns or somewhere farther south. Even more worrying was the fact that I had stupidly left my diving certification card in storage at our hostel in Cairns. Without the card, I couldn't prove to the dive crew that I had taken a scuba diving course and I could be prohibited from descending at all. After all of the anticipation I had built up for the dive, such thoughts were nightmarish. It turned out alright though - when I told the divemaster that I didn't have my card with me he laughed and teased that he didn't expect anything more from an Irish person. Denise half-jokingly protested at this, not wishing to be associated with my forgetfulness, arguing that his judgements were far too general and need not be applied to her. I thanked Denise for her loyalty and support.

We were taken in a minibus from PK's to a beach north of the cape. Abandoning our sandals for the day, we scampered barefoot down to the water, from where a launch took us out to the modern and well-equipped dive boat "Jungle Diver," anchored a couple of hundred metres out into the otherwise deserted bay. Peter and Peter the boat owners greeted us as we got on board while their handful of friendly crew served us fresh tropical fruits.


Denise munches on a melon breakfast aboard Jungle Diver.


My fears of a shoddy diving operation vanished at once - these guys were professional, responsible and friendly. During the safety briefing we heard a funny boat version of the McCafferty's "how to use the toilet" speech, which was accompanied by tremendously realistic flushing noises made by one of the crew. The comprehensive presentation even included a recommendation on the best place on the boat from where to spew (the stern) so as not to get vomit in your (or anybody else's) hair. There were about 25 people (all backpackers) on board, and six crew. Not everybody was going diving - some were out for the excursion and were happy to go snorkelling. Uncertified divers could take a closely guided and limited trip underwater, while Denise and I and about fifteen others would be split into groups of four and make two dives each, spending about half an hour underwater on each descent.

It was quite a windy morning, and the relatively calm conditions in the sheltered bay gave way to rougher water once we powered our beyond the headland. Only those who absolutely had to move to the back of the boat for vomiting purposes dared stand or try to walk around in the pitching and rolling boat. It took us about an hour to reach the proposed dive site on the reef, only half the time it would have taken had we taken a trip to a dive site from Cairns. The waters around the dive site were a little less choppy, but still dark and grey and nothing like the sky blue swimming pool water I had been expecting. I could see the reef around us, a dark mass that extended in all directions and was covered by no more than a foot of water in some places. Peter the skipper had to be careful not to drift onto one of these shallow shelves and do a Captain Cook job on the bottom of the boat, so he kept the vessel under power through the deeper passages with which he was most familiar. The rest of the crew had Denise and I and the other certified divers suited up and tanked up in no time. The ease with which we prepared for the dive was in luxurious contrast to the tortuous trials of our diving course in Sydney. Those shore-based dives had involved long barefoot treks across sharp rocks, not unlike a Lough Derg pilgrimage, but with heavy oxygen tanks instead of dry toast and muttered curses instead of fervent prayers. On the "Jungle Diver," our gear was handed to us, we were helped while putting it on, taken by the hand to the rear of the boat, and the crew even bore the weight of our tanks while we were standing at the stern waiting for the signal to slide into the water. I was happy to be spoiled.



Jungle Diver's GPS-plotted course from Cape Tribulation and the location of our dive site.


Once underwater, it only got better. The water was clear, visibility was good, and the choppy conditions at the surface were a million miles away. The five of us descended to the sandy bottom before swimming over to the closest portion of reef. There were plenty of fish about, both large and small. Their brightly coloured and graceful bodies shimmered in the sunlight which reached down from the surface. They eyed our approach warily, and surreptitiously glided out of our path. I was not familiar with the different species of fish so could not identify most of what I saw, but soon after descending I did see the unmistakable shape of a stingray sitting motionless on the sandy ocean floor, partially covered in sand and almost completely camouflaged. He was so well hidden in fact, that Denise nearly stood on him. For my open water diving certificate I didn't learn the hand signal for "Look out, you are about to step on a stingray" so I improvised, waving and pointing in a complicated manner that confused Denise so much that she swam towards me to see what was the matter, passing over the stingray undisturbed. Mission accomplished.

The coral was not as brightly coloured as I had expected, but during lunch one of the Peters told us more about the reef, including the trivia titbit that the bright colours seen on postcards of coral have been falsely enhanced - the natural colours of the reef centre around brown. We didn't touch the reef at all, since only the first few millimetres of coral is alive and it is easily damaged. The surface of the coral is made up of tiny plankton-eating and photosynthesizing polyps which harden when they die, laying down an extra layer of calcium-rich coral on top of the existing reef, resulting in continuous growth and evolution of the organism. The guide did allow us to touch some soft coral, which grew as incredibly smooth and silky long-leafed plants that danced slowly in the shifting current.

The brightly-coloured fish generally steered clear of our bulky and ungainly masses as we approached, but one or two fish approached me, either curiously or defensively, until they realised how large I was and darted away. I got quite a thrill out of slowly approaching shoals of fish and then quickly jerking my hands and fingers towards them, as if I was a sorcerer casting a spell. They would instantly dart away in all directions into a hiding place in the coral or to a spot out of my reach, where they would resume their nonchalant cruising as if they weren't really concerned at my presence at all. In addition to seeing the fish up close, I was captivated by the underwater sounds - the density of the water meant that even the quietest sounds were audible, even though it was impossible to tell the location of the source. I could clearly hear fish nibbling at coral, and I kept looking curiously about trying to match a particular nibble with a fish. After what seemed like ten minutes but was in fact almost 30, our oxygen supplies were dwindling so we swam back towards the boat and resurfaced. Excited by what we had seen, Denise and I decided to try snorkelling while other groups were completing their dives. Our decision to stay swimming was influenced by the fact that it was actually warmer in the water than on deck, where a fresh breeze stripped the heat from wet bodies and damp wetsuits. Snorkelling, however, proved difficult in the choppy conditions. The saltwater frequently splashed into the snorkel, causing inhalations


Enjoying the comforts: A hot shower aboard our dive boat.


consisting of more water than air and leaving us coughing and spluttering on the surface while catching our breath and rebuilding the confidence to try again. I got unwanted salt up my nose and in my mouth and was clearing my snorkel after every other breath. After a brief exploration of a new section of reef, we headed back to the boat. I heated up by using the hot outdoor shower, made up of a hose with a narrow shower head that emerged from the deck near the stern of the boat. I found that if I put the shower head down the inside front or back of my wetsuit, I could bathe happily and indefinitely in the personalised central heating. Presently I had to give somebody else a turn, so I dried off and heated up with some hot coffee.

We ate an unremarkable lunch while listening to an interesting presentation by Peter the helmsman. He passed around a sea slug for our examination and I was amazed by its resemblance to a flaccid and slimy cucumber, which is a poor indication of the regularity with which I clean out my fridge.

Our second dive was a drift dive, meaning that the route we took underwater was one-way; the boat moved off once we had descended and anchored again at an agreed spot to which we estimated the current would take us during the thirty minutes we would be underwater. All of the certified divers and their guides had to jump quickly from the stern of the boat during a window of 10 or 15 seconds while it was still under way; if the engines had been shut off the boat would have been pushed out of the narrow channel onto the treacherous reef. Although we had been well briefed and given appropriate safety instruction, the added danger of the boat's spinning propellers injected an extra thrill to the dive - I felt like we were a team of crack commandos being dropped into enemy waters on some covert reconnaissance mission. I almost asked one of the crew if there were any harpoon guns on board that I might use if we were set upon by an unexpected enemy patrol. Before I got the chance however, Peter sounded the boat's horn as a signal from the cockpit to dive and we quickly frog-stepped in waves of four from the stern into the sea. Resurfacing and watching the boat pulling away, I wondered if real commando's noses stung as much as mine from too many false inhalations of saltwater.



Unidentified exotic fish.


The second dive was even more incredible than the first. The visibility was so good I could have been swimming in vodka. We broke up into groups of five again and our shoal set off along the edge of an abrupt underwater shelf. We eased along an enormous reef wall that hid nooks, caves and submarine canyons. I looked up to see an almost vertical coral cliff face which ended at the shimmering surface far far above us. There were more new fish, more new plants and more crevices to explore. Again, the dive seemed to be over in just a few minutes when in fact we spent almost half an hour underwater. Magnificent, but far too short. By the time we had dried off and heated up with more hot coffee it was late afternoon. We chatted excitedly with the other divers and compared "I saw a really beautiful fish" stories while sipping the cheap sparkling wine provided to us by the crew. The sunlight was fading to a deep and serene orange by the time we raised anchor and pointed towards the coast, but the seas proved far less peaceful. Broad waves crashed against our bow and splashed the windows angrily. Enjoying the ride, I braced myself in the upper cockpit with Peter the helmsman and a handful of others while we rocked in all directions. Peter scanned the white crested waves for whales that he suspected might be in the area, and encouraged us to do the same. For a guy who made the trip out to the reef almost daily, I was surprised at his optimism, for he hadn't seen any whales in several months yet he continually swept his eyes across the water as if he expected an entire pod to surface at any moment. Admittedly, Peter had more to lose than the rest of us by not seeing a whale (crashing into one at cruising speed would be disastrous) assuming there was one out there, but I didn't get my hopes up too high and so wasn't all that disappointed when we got to shore without any close encounters.

When we got back to PK's, dinner was already in progress. With an appetite big enough to accommodate several shovelfuls of pizza, I showered and headed over to the takeaway with Denise. Salivating freely, I unhesitatingly ordered us a large Supreme with all of the toppings, but my eager request was met with a blank stare from the pseudo-gothic nose-ringed girl behind the counter.

"There's no pizza left," she said apathetically. I was stunned, but recovered quickly.
"What's that then?" I asked, pointing to another customer nearby who was picking up a large flat box reeking of pepperoni.
"That's the last one. There's no pizza left."

She didn't try to apologise. She didn't need to. It wasn't as if I could storm away in disgust ranting that I would take my business elsewhere. Dinner was already over in the PK's bar, and there was no other food to be had at Cape Tribulation unless I went a-hunting in the forest. Beaten, I ordered a pie and chips. Denise was even less impressed and opted for chips only, preferring to leave the pie's suspicious gravy-drowned filling to me. We cheered ourselves up with a tin of fruit we had stashed in the kitchen, and washed it down with a jug of happy hour beer. A rat scampered across the grass in front of the kitchen while I was chewing on a sweet piece of pear and I pulled the tin closer. I may have missed out on pizza, but I certainly wasn't going to lose my dessert.


Humbling Horseride, Daintree Digression

Sunday, August 2; Cape Tribulation - Cairns

We were up for horseriding at 8am. Denise and I assembled with eight others in the reception area and were directed to the stables by a smug young lady who I thought looked remarkably like the no-pizza girl from the previous evening. "Go across the road, along the verge, up the hill, follow the path, cross the stile, through the long grass, into the gully, over the stream, up to the fence, stick to the track, climb the gate, under the trees, around the bend and you're there. You can't miss it. If you forget the directions, follow the smell of horseshit."

We were dismissed. I rather thought that the lady herself exuded enough horseshit to completely mask any possible aids to navigation, but I followed the other backpackers through some forest and across a couple of fields until we came across a corral and rickety stables. The rainforest had not yet encroached into this area, where open meadows and low bushes contrasted with the dense forest from which we had emerged. Two semi-settled backpacker girls in the stables had us classify ourselves as beginner, intermediate or advanced level riders, and assigned us horses accordingly. Denise and a British girl made up the advanced contingent. I gave myself an intermediate rating and was matched with a chestnut called Charlie. After a girth-adjusting party, we filed out of the corral in single file, advanced riders in front, followed by intermediate and then beginner riders. Our guides took the front and rear positions. As we made our way down through the fields and forest towards the beach, I got to know Charlie a little. Charlie was on the last day of a month long stint as an active horse, after which he would rest in the paddock for a month. He had been carrying tourists like me along the same route twice a day every day for the last 30 days. He was used to plodding along in line, following not only the track, but the gait of the horse ahead of him. The trail through the rainforest were so well trodden from constant riding that it was muddy and corrugated from hoofprints. Initially I thought that it was my excellent horsemanship that was keeping Charlie in line, but I was seriously mistaken. Charlie was on autopilot. His legs were moving below me, but his mind was elsewhere, probably dreaming of his upcoming paddock leave. He was completely oblivious to my guiding tugs on the reins as I discovered when we emerged onto the beach and I tried to get him to paddle in the shallow water. This was obviously a break from union-approved routine, and Charlie was having none of it. He plodded along the sand well clear of the water's edge. Showing him who was boss was more difficult than I anticipated. Tugging at the reins until his head was facing the ocean had no effect, for he continued to walk parallel to the water in an awkward-looking but unperturbed fashion. Perhaps he was trying to impersonate a crab, but he avoided the water as if he was a cat.

Five minutes later I discovered that Charlie wasn't completely opposed to getting into the water, but that he was only used to getting wet according to the schedule. Our guides invited us to dismount, unsaddle the horses, change into our swimming gear, and lead our mounts into the ocean for a swim. Charlie reluctantly accepted this as a trying part of his day's work, and after a few initial protests we made it successfully into the surf. I waded and swam forward with one hand clutching the reins, and Charlie bore down on top of me. The trick to guiding a horse into water is to stay in front of its head.


Enthusiastic Dave, not so enthusiastic Charlie.


Doing this makes it easier to go in a straight line. I found out the hard way that if you try to swim alongside a horse, he will push into you, forcing you sideways and into a turn which inevitably ends up pointing to where he wants to go. Charlie kept turning us back towards the shore. He was well practised at using this trick on unsuspecting backpackers but I persisted in turning him around again and I managed to lead him deeper into the water until we were both out of our depth. Once he was truly swimming it was especially important to keep in front of him and keep his reins up so that his kicking front legs didn't whack my legs or get tangled in the reins and drag his head down. Charlie looked as worried as I felt. His eyes were wide, his nostrils flared and his teeth were bared as he practised the doggy paddle. He made strange grunting noises which our guide had told us to expect, but he was still a distressed looking horse.


Denise and Misty.


He could swim faster than I could, which was rather unnerving as his bared teeth kept lunging towards my head. I also didn't know if he was swimming or walking much of the time, and was worried that I was going to feel his panicked hoof on top of my foot. I decided that the safest place to be was on his back, so I clambered aboard. Charlie knew that he had won, so ignoring my tugs on the reins once more, he made his way out of the water and up to the hitching post for a quick nap in the sunshine. Accepting defeat, I busied myself with opening and eating a coconut. As a token of my appreciation for not standing on my foot, I fed Charlie some coconut milk and shell. He slurped and munched casually and went back to sleep. Once the horses were relatively dry again, they were re-saddled and we continued on down the beach. Charlie was as reluctant to paddle as he had been before swimming. We were not allows to break into a trot or anything faster on the beach due to its status as a World Heritage listed area. It was a pity, for the open sand was perfect galloping terrain. Our guide cautioned us that the fine for breaking the rule could be as much as $50,000. I had no fear of being charged - Charlie probably wouldn't have picked up the pace even if I had stuck a stick of dynamite under his tail. The English girl on the "advanced" horse scathingly compared our plodding across the sand to a donkey ride in Blackpool. I had to agree. Things improved as we headed back inland. We rode through rainforest, rivers and meadows, and at scheduled places we even trotted and cantered. Once I had resigned myself to the fact that Charlie was in control of both our speed and our direction, I quite enjoyed myself. I closed my eyes and slackened the reins for a while just to see if Charlie could handle the winding trail on his own. He could.

We made it back to PK's in time for lunch, after which we caught one of the buses back towards Cairns. Our convoy stopped for some strangely flavoured but delicious ice-cream in Daintree along the way, and we went for a brief hike alongside the whitewater of Mossman Gorge. We also took a guided cruise on the Daintree river in a wide and flat-bottomed boat. Our guide was a knowledgeable middle-aged man who was so good at pointing out near-invisible creatures along the riverbanks that I grew suspicious - either the animals were plastic (few of them moved as we passed) or they were getting a commission from our guide for appearing. Even when the guide pointed out the creatures, it took quite a bit of staring to distinguish them from their


Kiss me, I'm really the Prince of Daintree. Seriously.


habitat. He pointed out freshwater and saltwater crocodiles (albeit small ones), tree snakes, tree frogs, spiders, a python, kingfisher birds and more. One pair of birds were so convinced that they couldn't be seen against the foliage around them that they let us approach them quite closely. "No dear, we need not fly away. Mother Nature made us with top-notch camouflage. We're perfectly safe." Famous last words.

Back in Cairns, Denise and I hit the Woolshed for another cheap dinner deal. We wandered around the night markets and hovered over several puzzle stalls trying to get the ball off the chain, the rope off the block and the peg through the loop. We had some successes with the puzzles but had no intention of buying anything. Having to carry your purchases across a continent for two months is a real disincentive to souvenir shopping. Denise thought that she might have to buy when she managed to break a wooden ring on one of the handmade puzzles that she was playing with. Breaking the ring in two was one way to get the rope out of the ring, but we feared it was not the approved method. Her efforts to place the pieces together and prop it quietly on the bench without the stall owner noticing weren't working. She owned up to her crime, and in true "honesty is the best policy" fashion, the guy tut-tutted, produced another ring from beneath the counter, and let her off. We celebrated with ice-cream.


Wearisome Washing, Wandering, Woolshed

Monday, August 3; Cairns

Sleep-in day. Laundry day. By the time we had those two essentials out of the way, it was lunchtime and too late to do anything except wander around the town. That's the thing with Cairns. There is nothing to do in the town centre during the day except eat ice-cream and shop - we found little of interest within walking distance of our hostel. Most of the activities which attract tourists to Cairns begin early in the day and involve travelling out of town. I was tempted to catch the shuttle and try bungy jumping from the AJ Hackett site a few miles northwest of Cairns. They had a weekday special running which offered thrill seekers unlimited bungy jumps all day for $99. Those who were suitably daring could bungy jump forwards, jump backwards, slide off the platform, swan dive, ride a bicycle over the edge, walk off on their hands or try any other toys or crazy ideas. I got as far as the ticket office on the Esplanade and made inquiries but in the end I decided to save my money and my adrenalin for the higher canyons of New Zealand which we proposed to visit later in our trip. Having jumped a couple of times before, I was more obsessed with height than technique, although when it came down to it, I was petrified of excesses of both.

Sitting at a bench on the esplanade waiting for Denise, I found myself in the middle of the Cairns' unofficial used car market. The parking spots were filled with dubious-looking vehicles which looked as if they had covered more miles than Apollo 11's lunar orbiter. The panels of rust on some of the cars were only outdone by the layers of character evident in others. Some of them would have travelled around Australia several times under several different backpacker owners. If cars could talk, these specimens would doubtlessly have plenty of tales to tell. Closest to me was a colourful VW combi van and a battered-looking Holden estate. Their owners lounged about restlessly, eager to do business with anyone who could take the vehicles off their hands. The girl selling the Holden asked everyone within a hundred yards of the car if they were interested in buying it. There were no takers. Who knew how many days (or even weeks) she had been there peddling her car, or how long more it would take before she sold it or gave up? I had heard first-hand accounts of how great it was to have your own car to travel around in, and how it was sometimes possible to sell a car for more than you paid for it, but I had also come across people who spent weeks desperately trying to sell their vehicle to regain enough money so that they could continue their travels. Looking around the anxious faces on the Esplanade, I was happy that Denise and I had chosen to travel by bus.

While wandering around a mall next to the marina, we came upon a bar/restaurant stocked with Elvis Presley memorabilia. I had become quite a fan since visiting Graceland, his house-turned-museum in America the previous year, and Denise had since been infected with my enthusiasm. The restaurant was quite empty, so we shuffled around the tables and booths as if we were visiting a museum. For a small establishment so far from Elvis' haunting ground, the restaurant had a lot of great stuff in the collection, including a gold-coloured 1968 Cadillac Eldorado that Elvis owned for many years until it failed to start one day. Suspecting that the car was past its prime, he shot it like a veterinarian would put down a wounded racehorse. The perfect bullet hole in the front wing was as well preserved as the surrounding paintwork. Fortunately for Elvis, he had several dozen backup cars and was saved from having to run for the bus. He gave the Eldorado as a gift to Priscilla's stepfather and took the pink Cadillac instead.

By this stage we were becoming regulars at the Woolshed. We went for our final super dinner deal that evening. I wolfed down a large, sweat-inducing lamb madras curry, after which I had to lie down on a bench outside in the square. We hit the night markets again and ended up at another puzzle stall. We dazzled the other customers by instantly solving the puzzles we had seen solutions to the previous evening at the other stall. I could tell they were impressed. I got a little caught up in my own false streak of genius and tried to do the classic Towers of Hanoi puzzle to seven levels. For a while I was racing along without hesitation but I somehow lost my concentration and soon became confused. The guy behind the stall smugly assured me that the puzzle could be solved in 127 moves. After about 500 moves I realised that I was getting no closer to a solution so I cursed and shuffled away. The only thing that made me feel better was that Denise had fared no better, and that she had managed not to break anything.


PREVIOUS | NEXT | HOME | CONTENTS | ABOUT | SEND EMAIL