Hi I'm Amp, and this is my asylum. Some people keep telling me it's actually a set of html documents on a server somewhere. Yeah right! I may be mad but I'm not an idiot!.

These same people insist on calling me Adam Jewell. They say it's my real name or something. Weird or what? I do however know a bloke called Adam Jewell but his real name is Krosis. Confused? Then you're in the right place :)

I was born 22 years ago which makes me 22 (I think). I went to a school, lounged around a while and then did a Fas course in application programming. For an English-orientated language Cobol sure is crap but I learned a lot about other stuff.

I now work for Dec on the Microsoft helpdesk. This is where the phrase "You don't have to be mad to work here, except you do BWAAHAHAHA!!" came from. I hope to escape from the Darkside sometime soon :)

Despite this I still like computers and have had a cpu since the early 80's

For example:

• Football/Tennis/Squash Console Thingy - Can't remember the make but it was the source of endless fun and mirth. Like Pong only in colour and with three sports!
• Atari 2600 - You never had one of these?!! - My most favourite achievment with this was clocking Pacman ie: I scored over 100,000 and then it reset to zero. Wehaay!
• Spectrum 48k - The rubber key-padded wonder - I learn't basic on this baby. I played Jetpack until it overheated and died :(
• Amiga 500 - 1000's of great games, a solid Gui interface, Long filenames, endless diskswapping. Ahh the memories!
• PC Clone - but when it came down to it I needed what business used so I got a Pc. It was very crap but that taught me how to optimize it for speed. This turned out to be handy.
• Dell Dimension XPS P90 - My current PC. It's a Pentium and it goes fast (even with Win95!!). It's lovely and I regularly hug it and squeeze it and call it George.

Other things:

• Alchohol, oh yes indeed. Current favourites:
• Heiniken
• Grolsch
• Caffreys
• Jack Daniels and red - yummy

but I don't like Guinness to the shame and redicule of my co-patriots.

Guide to the Asylum:

During your visit to the Asylum you will see lots of lists which will probably have other lists in them. You may experience problems with some links but mostly they should have been generated by the Asylum itself (it's mad you see).

Most pages have a text version for those using a non-graphical browser or those experiencing slooooowww access. Woooga!

Have a nice stay and get well soon.

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