18th September 2002 : Big Fat Lie : Mr. Brian Keenan
Conor & I had aranged with Mr. Keenan that we would rent his house next year, having rented it from him during the last college year. However, we couldn't find two other people to share the house with and couldn't afford the rent with only two of us, I couldn't anyway.
We found another, nicer, place to live, which is much better, closer to college than I've ever been and well, I'm just happier with it in general. So after promising Keenan we'd take his house, after begging him to keep it for us, after getting very upset when we heard he offered it to others, after assuring him time and time again we still wanted his house, I had to tell him to fuck off.
So I called him and told him Conor had glandular fever and was extremely ill in hospital, he wouldn't be out for a month, and wouldn't be going back to school, I also told him that the two people we had lined up for the house, which we never really had, hadn't gotten their offers for DCU. Oh what a shame, he said, but these things happen. I then had to tell Conor not to answer his phone because he was sick in hospital, and I had to tell Horse not to let Keenan in on our joke, I hope he keeps his word.
Estimated Cost Of Lying : 1 - 2 months rent (Mr. Brian Keenan), 1 phone call(free) & two messages (Me), 1 soul (Me).
Sorry Brian.
14th September 2002 : Little White Lie : Alan Maher
For those of you who aren't Alan Maher, he works with Seamus. Alan asked me to do some work for him, he was making a presentation to all the schools in the county about some scheme, and I said sure, it's easy work and the pay is ludicrously too much. Effectively all I had to do was alter a Powerpoint presentation in three places, bring my computer to the Riverside, connect it to a projector and switch between projector and a video, twice.
I altered his presentation and connected everything so it ran automatically, all that needed to be done was the play button was to be pressed on the vcr, but these people can't even do that, they are that stupid. But I didn't feel like sitting through 3 presentations and wasting my whole day. So I told Alan I was sick and went home. After writing detailed instructions for Alan, of course. 'Press Play'.
Estimated Cost Of Lying : Pride, while figuring out how to press Play in front of 100-200 students (Alan Maher).
Sorry Alan.
1985 : Little White Lie : A.C. Slater
I really wanted to go the the school dance with Kelly, but A.C. had already asked her. So I got Screech and some of the other cast members to dress up in bandages and pretend to Slater that Kelly's sister had done this to them. It worked and he told Kelly he wasn't going to the dance, so I got to go with Kelly. But she found out and got mad, but we made up by the end of the show and we all learned a valuable lesson, and got detention from Mr. Belding. What a hilarious episode.
Estimated Cost Of Lying : Detention (Zack Morris), Embarrassment (Screech), Embarrassment & Shame (Entire cast of Saved By The Bell).
Sorry Saved By The Bell.
More To Come...
Or Maybe I'm Lying...
Or Maybe I'm Lying Now...
Or Now...
Or Now...
Or Not...