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Golden Age Of Irish TV - The Ads

"Free a Nipper! Ruiyh'!!!"
(Brendan Grace as "Botler" - marketing Maxol Petrol with a free puppet
that squeaked when you stuck your hand up it's arse and squeezed.  Hard)

"Saint Vincent de Paul can help people like Gus"
(Ould fella with a beard in a flasher jacket and a pair of sandals. He
also had dirty toenails).

HARP
"The sound of the Curlew"
"Sally O'Brien and the Way she might look at ya". Jaysus - she was
lovely.
It was "so hot you could fry an egg on the stones out here. If ya had
an egg. And you could certainly sink a pint of Harp.......
If ya had a pint of Harp".

HB Vanilla
"There's your Grandad when he was just a bit older than you are now.
They used to take me down to Hazelbrook Farm (probably to milk the cows on
child labour and provide a bit of slap & tickle on the side for the
local farm animals). They gave me a great big bowl of ice cream (well
deserved). Straight from the Dairy the Ice Cream came". "Did it taste as good then?"
"The very same. HB Vanilla has an old fashioned quality that NEVER changed".

"Ahhhhh. That's Bass".

Cornetto:
Justa one Cornetto,
Geev it dto mee,
Deeleeshass Ice Cream,
Of Italy.

Oh daarleeng,
Forgeeve me please,
O-pen zee door,
Throw down zee keys.
(She's a leetal upset about sometheeng - but she soon be eating outta
myhand).

The Stephen Roche Ads:

Remember Stephen Roche (at the heighth of his short lived cycling
success) selling Bank accounts.
"You can be a winner too. Open a bank of Ireland Account and you get a
free signed poster and a reflective arm band".

Then he went into an Italian Restaurant and asked for a Galtee Cheese
Sandwich. His wife must have been some lazy bitch if he had to go to a
restaurant to get a sanger for his lunch.
"Who want a cheese-a sand-a-wich! I give you a cheese-a
sand-a-wich!........I give a you the besta  Galtee Cheese-a Sand-a-wich
you ever tasted!

"Get out o' that saddle Stephen - get outta that saddle son.
Just keep those pedals turnin' - and ya have the damn thing won".
Poor ould Sean Kelly though. The only thing he ever won was the Tour
of Spain and the Nissan Classic . Then in 1988 he had to retire from the
Spanish race early 'cos he'd a boil on his arse. God love him.
He thought everything was "Super" . (Pronounced Sthooper).

Deoderant Ads:

Hands up - if you use Right Guard,
Hands Down - if ya don't.

Insignia's got everything - shampoo to shower gel,
deoderant and aftershave - a one all-over smell,
So try insignia,
Create a buzz not a hum.

Four Seven Eleven,
Cool as can be like champagne on your skin.

RADION Washing Powder:
"Poo Daddy your shirt smells!"

SHAMPOO:

Head & Shoulders - I didn't know you had dandruff
I don't (now stop routing around in my f@ckin' bag ya nosey bitch!)

Wash and Go
"Use shampoo AND conditioner?
Take TWO bottles into the shower?
Put my clothes on after I'm finished?
Not me! I just want to wash my hair and go".

"Ya do the Shake N Vac,
And put the freshness back,
Ya do the Shake N Vac,
And put the freshness back.
When your carpet smells fresh,
Your room does too,
So every time you vacuum,
Remember what to do.....
......Ya do the Shake N Vac,
And put the freshness back,
Ya do the Shake N Vac,
And put the freshness back.

The Pretty Polly Ad where the blonde one in the car replaces the fan
belt with a nylon stocking.

SOUP ADS:

McDonnells Soup:
"If I gave it to my fella he'd be jumpin' 'round the garden - ah ha ha
ha ha ha!!!!!"

McDonnells Slim-A-Soup:
"Stir to the left, stir to the right -
Now let's taste it......
The creamy rich taste you've been longing for,
Fourty calories that taste li-ike mo-ore.
Arm up - head back - More! More! More! More!
You got it made with McDonnell's slim-a-soup".

Hot Cup:
Working on Building a Building Site
Get no Suntan just for spite
Erin Hot Cup Special Perks you up,
Like no other cuppa,
no other cuppa,
no other cuppa,
can!

Cookeen:
"Give 'em a lift,
Give 'em a lift,
Give 'em a lift - mmmmmmm
Cook-eeeeeeen"
(Any time you took a bite of something baked with Cookeen you'd float
up off your chair. I thought I was Superman).

Stork:
-How many Candles for this big birthday?
-HELEHVAN!!

Popular thirst quenchers of the 80's:
Um Bongo
Kia Ora
Moonshine
Robinsons Lemon Barley Water
Robinsons Orange Barley Water
Liga C
Complan (for Grannies and pregnant women)

WHERE'S MY LIGA!!!
Children these days - so demanding.

Bugsy Malone does Easi-Singles:
"Easi Singles Slices,
With that touch of Class,
Individually Wrapped (WRAPPED!)
From 'Foist' to Last.
8, 12, 'Twe-enny,
There's always Ple-enny.
It's Golden Vale,
You've got it so,
Fill it! Top it! Grill it! Bake it! TAKE it!
Take it, Take it.
Golden Vale Easi Singes,
Eeeeazy.

Chocolate Bars:

The Yorkee ad with the guy in the Truck.

"The Bounty hunters,
are here,
they're searching for paradise".
(Three divers swim out of the sea onto a tropical island, remove their
wet suits to reveal three white bikinis and three golden tans. Mmmmm).

"Catch it if you can on the outside it's chocolate,
Underneath the chocolate are - Krispies!"

"Cadbury's Wispa. Bite it and believe it".
(Mel Smith and Griff Rhys Jones).

"Rowntrees Lion Bar. Bite it! Crunch it! Chew it!

"When I promised the lads I'd give 'em a lift,
I forgot you need petrol in cars,
So when I got to the garage and filled 'er up,
Then I filled the lads with Mars.
A Mars a day, helps you work rest and play


Kit Kat:
"It's a biscuit!"
"It's a bar!"
"It's a biscuit!"
"It's a bar!"
"It's a biscuit!"
"It's a bar!"
"It's a biscuit in a bar!"
or
"Ya can't sing, ya can't play, you look awaful.
Snap!
Pause.
"You'll gow a long wye"
(Terry from Eastenders)

M&M's melt in your mouth not in your hands.

CHIPS ADS:

McCain oven chips:
"Take a chip.
Hold it up.
Give it a pinch.
Smile.
Pinch another.
Lick your lips.
Now take a bite.
McCAIN!!

CRISP 'N' DRY:
Hey - what's today?
Thursday!
Hope it's a Friday,
That's a crisp 'n dry day,
any day can be a Friday,
when you fry with crisp....
'n Dry.

Liberty!
Equality!
Freedom and Choice!
And WRANGLER JEANS!!

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