Bushy Park Old Boys -- European Tour,
France 2004
Dateline . . . . . May 7th, 2004
Sense and Sensibility - those were the key
attributes of this year's adventure.
As well as : --
Some lessons were learnt (or as Homer
might iterate - 'ler-ned') from last year's trip.
Then, galloping down to Granville,
followed by ventures to 'Des Ormes' and a futile finishing dash
to Omaha - all meant that, whilst that trip was
'action-packed', it was a little too frantic for our wearying
troop.
Lessons learned!
This year, when planning our 2004 trip,
early venue suggestions included Bordeaux, somewhere in Spain,
and possibly a resort outside Paris.
Not the usual sort of location for the
BPOB's.
However such options were under
consideration due to possible/pending industrial action at our
friendly/family shipping company.
Fortunately, by the time our regular
Easter spot came around, all such shipping difficulties had
been resolved - and a unanimous decision was taken to maintain
our contacts with the Normandy region.
More specifically, we resolved to base
ourselves exclusively in the Omaha Golf Resort.
A very successful, and enjoyable, decision
that turned out to be.
10 of us travelled, a nice easy number for
organisation, for transport, for meals etc.
2 variations this year.
Big Pete brought along a Transit Van
(white, of course) -- which would act as the primary carrier
for all luggage, golf gear . . . and the excess bottle or three
of Vin Extraordinaire.
A recent addition to the footballing ranks
has been the Crosbies, from Naas.
Mick, familiar from yore, and his sons -
Ian, Barry and Graeme.
Having more than served their
apprenticeship, both Ian and Barry travelled to France with us.
Young Matthew Wall, perhaps on a better
‘promise’, was unable to travel up from Grenoble.
The gods clearly sympathised with us - - -
the weather was spectacularly sunny, the sailings smooth, the
roads empty.
And . . . . . . wayward, myopic French
drivers were banished for the duration! Seamus Brennan, note.
Mind you, having lauded the glorious
weather -- how surprising that, upon our arrival at Omaha, we
should find the course shrouded in a dense sea-mist. Took the
best part of 6 holes for the sun to burn it off.
Unlike the grumbles of last year --
regarding sanded courses, pole-forked greens etc -- this year
we played on superbly conditioned courses.
Even Helen’s Bay, in Rosslare,
didn’t beat us up as in times gone by.
By way of a challenge, I had suggested a
proper match be arranged among some of the better golfers of our
group.
Thus it was that Ian and Barry Crosbie
were pitted against Derek Murphy and Derek Wall.
'The Young Guns' against 'The Old Boys'.
My thinking was that it would be a
serious/straight game of golf -- better ball wins.
Possibly a defining moment in the holiday
-- and with likely implications for the rest of the footballing
season.
The rest of us played a friendly social
game of 3-man scramble.
Their match followed behind.
Eagerly we waited on the 18th green to see
how the match panned out.
The body language was sufficient evidence.
As was the broad grins on the faces of
'The Old Boys'.
Seems 'The Young Guns' were easily beaten.
Naturally the rest of us 'older guys' were
delighted at this display of strength/skill/stamina on behalf
of our peers.
Bragging rights were thus secure for
another year at least.
They might easily skip past us on the
playing pitch but, at least on the golf course, age/experience
and good looks could still win the day.
Mind you, I was still kinda surprised - as
both Ian and Barry had been playing very VERY good golf
recently.
"So, how
come yuz were beaten so easily"
I asked a crestfallen Ian.
"What do
you expect", he muttered,
"when they were playing off
+18 handicaps."
Now, I'm not naturally a cynical man, but
even I was left speechless at such a brazen piece of
(dishonesty is too libellous a word) 'duplicity'.
For Waller and Murph to claim to be
playing off '+18' was akin to Joe chipping the ball 10 feet
over my head, with me in goal - and then claiming it's a goal.
It just should not / could not / can not /
will not / be allowed to happen.
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Waller’s response -- “Today was our Ryder Cup”.
An Emergency Meeting of the ‘Round
Knights of the Square Table’ was immediately convened for
that night, at which point every member had to stand before his
peers and admit to a degree of honesty not experienced since
the demise of Christy Gorman!
That’s how rigorous the process was.
Oh how we laughed and rejoiced.
To watch/listen to the pleadings, the
excuses, the maneuverings, the justifications, the
prevarications and barefaced audacity of The Bandits.
Finally we reached agreement.
Only through unanimous agreement might a
BPOB’er now claim and sign
for a Society handicap.
A long, languid, liquid enjoyable night.
One of the really great sessions.
The result of the debate -- well, until
the next convening of the Cmtee, these are now the official
BPOB handicaps.
As well as playing the Omaha course twice,
Garry had added a new course to our itinerary -- Caen Golf
Course.
Notionally a ‘public’ course,
this consisted of an 18-hole and 9-hole combination, set in
expansive parklands.
Very interesting variety of holes/shots to
play.
I’d highly recommend this course to
anyone with even a passing interest in playing golf.
Certainly
one we’ll visit again.
The winner that day, playing a ‘best
score’ combination, was the team of Ian, Joe, Ronan and
Derek Wall.
Our timetable was sufficiently organised
to allow us play a comfortable game in Omaha on the final day.
We re-jigged the team combinations -- with
the result that the final winners were the team of ‘Barry
and 2 passengers’.
I have to say ‘en passent’,
that the course that day was in as good a condition as
I’ve ever seen a course. Such a pleasure to play on.
Sadly this player only brought his ‘D’ game to
France.
Over the span of 4 days play, the Claudia
Ranieri ‘rotation system’ meant that each one of us
got a chance to play with different combinations of great,
good, average and ‘idiosyncratic’ players.
‘Bad’ does
not feature in the lexicon of BPOB Golfing Tours.
‘Bad’ is only reserved for a wet, windy, mucky
October Saturday afternoon -- when Joe Lakes thinks he can
score with his left foot.
Hey Joe (what a tune) . . . . . rumour has
it that rain fell in Cuba for 3 weeks solid.
What kinda deal was that, eh!
Bring your 3-iron to France next year
instead.
And I think all of us would acknowledge
the outstanding personal contributions of Ian and Barry, each
featuring on a winning team.
“It’s
golf, Jim, but not as us mortals play”.
They know how to buy a round as well.
Well done, lads! And thanks for the
lessons.
Now, about your footballing (li)abilities
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Waller Rules:
Not quite what the ancient R & A would
approve of.
We are all familiar with the 'Waller
Rule', which advocates that any putt 'past' the hole is a
'gimme'.
Even 5 feet past!
This year we heard of yet another one.
Let me set the scenario.
Waller, who is a fine golfer of many years
experience, finds himself in a fairway bunker on the Omaha Golf
Course.
There happen to be a few stones in the
bunker.
"Can we
remove them" asks the
redoubtable Waller.
"Yes" comes the reply - as any knowledgable
golfer will know.
Whereupon the same Waller proceeds to
scoop stones and sand away from in front of the ball.
This action just so happens to create a
nice gully, leaving the ball sitting proud - perfect lie now
for a chanceless bunker shot.
And on his merry way he proceeds.
We've decided to give him another nickname
>> 'The JCB'.
Because he should be in the excavation
business.
 | ||
Jacket Logo: By
way of a bit of human interest, I had arranged a deal with
O’Neills Sportswear whereby we would take delivery of a
set of sports jackets, complete with official BPOB logo.
However, 4 days before sailing, I got a
phone call from the O’Neill’s rep -- “Peter, I’m sorry -- I didn’t think
you were sailing for another week”.
Muppets.
We hope to have the jackets ready . . . .
. by Christmas!
And finally . . . . . . . . . .
 | ||
Mighty fine food also in the Restaurant.
Especially that ‘smoked ham’.
‘Xcuse me while I have a Homer
moment at the memory ....
.ps
In case anyone should think it
strange/sad/amusing/insightful at the frequent references to
the redoubtable Homer, then . . . . . . DOH . . . . . .
you’ve just failed the test.
That’s why you don’t fit the
profile of a true BPOB’er on Tour.
To launch the Picture Gallery for BPOB
European Tour -- 2004,
just click the image opposite for
‘Omaha Beach Golf Club’
Only 49 weeks to go till next Easter . . .
. . . and counting
