What's Your Business Sign?
1) MARKETING
You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to
study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is
pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.
2) SALES
Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a
degree." You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you
and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with customers so
you can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration for your
golf game throughout your life.
3) TECHNOLOGY
Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to
completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU
don't understand what you are saying but who the hell can tell. It is written
that Geeks shall inherit the Earth.
4) ENGINEERING
One of only two signs that actually studied in school. It is said that engineers
place ninety percent of all Personal Ads. You can be happy with yourself; your
office is full of all the latest "ergodynamic" gadgets. However, we
all know what is really causing your "carpal tunnel syndrome."
5) ACCOUNTING
The only other sign that studied in school. You are mostly immune from office
politics. You are the most feared person in the organization; combined with your
extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors concerning you say that
you are completely insane.
6) HUMAN RESOURCES
Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to be the
biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other person that does
less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because you
have to get a haircut, have lunch AND then mail a letter.
7) MANAGEMENT/MIDDLE MANAGEMENT
Catty, cutthroat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your
current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend
to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself.
Best suited to marry other "Middle Managers" as everyone in your
social circle is a "Middle Manager."
8) SENIOR MANAGEMENT
(See above - Same sign, different title)
9) CUSTOMER SERVICE
Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking your own
life. As children very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle for
your room and a headset so you could pretend to play "Customer
Service." Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to sleep
with your manager.
10) CONSULTANT
Lacking any specific knowledge, you use acronyms to avoid revealing your utter
lack of experience. You have convinced yourself that your "skills" are
in demand and that you could get a higher paying job with any other organization
in a heartbeat. You will spend an eternity contemplating these career
opportunities without ever taking direct action.
11) RECRUITER, "HEADHUNTER"
As a "person" that profits from the success of others, most people who
actually work for a living disdain you. Paid on commission and susceptible to
alcoholism, your ulcers and frequent heart attacks correspond directly with
fluctuations in the stock market.
12) PARTNER, PRESIDENT, CEO
You are brilliant or lucky. Your inability to figure out complex systems such as
the fax machine suggest the latter.
13) GOVERNMENT WORKER
Paid to take days off. Government workers are genius inventors, like the
invention of new Holidays. You usually suffer from deep depression or anxiety
and usually commit serious crimes while on the job...Thus the term "GO
POSTAL"