Elderly Troubles
A 75-year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me
back a sample tomorrow."
The next day, the 75-year old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives
him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asks what happened, and the man explains, "Well, doc, it's like
this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my
left hand, but nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her
right hand, but nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She even tried with her
mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth out, and still nothing.
Hell, we even called up the lady next door, and she tried with both hands
and her mouth too, but nothing." The doctor was shocked. "You asked
your
NEIGHBOR?"
The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what we tried, we couldn't get the
jar open!"