Sure they all say the world is going to end at the start of the year 2000 so most of us these predictions will never come true. But when the clock strikes midnight on December 31 think of what might have happened in the next year were it not for the Millennium Bug and the end of mankind and Drogs as we know it
FAI Cup gets going. Shamrock Rovers and Cork draw their first four meetings. FAI insist they won't use penalties and replays must only decide the clashes. Drogheda's new manager Eddie May resigns as manager with ten minutes left of their game with Bangor Celtic as his local pub league side in England want a new manager. John Hewitt takes over for the last ten minutes and steers Drogheda to a 2-1 defeat. Elsewhere St Pats secure a brilliant 1-0 win in Galway with Donal Broughan the hero of the hour with a forty five yard screamer into the top corner. However the plaudits for the goal go to Eddie Gormley who missed a vital tackle in the lead up to the goal. The Kilkenny and Dundalk game is abandoned after 25 minutes after some players found the surface so smooth that they decided to lie down for a quick nap. In the League, Shelbourne continued their march to the title, scoring four 1-0 victories during the month with all goals coming from corners. In Division One, Kilkenny march into first place. Their best win of the month was a 2-0 home win over Dundalk with both goals coming from new signing, A.N Other.
Shamrock Rovers and Cork are kicked out of the Cup by the FAI for delaying the progress of the competition after 16 attempts to finish the first round. For good measure, the FAI kicked Kilkenny out of the Cup and the whole League in general for no apparent reason with Newbridge Town elected to the League. Donal Broughan grabbed five for Pats in a superb one man show at home to Waterford. However he is booed off the pitch by Pats fans who were sure Ozo would have scored six if he had been picked. Shelbourne, aided by fat English comedian Danny Baker who was summoned in to replace Dessie Baker [who had been sold unwittingly to fictional English side Melchester United from Roy Of The Rovers], secured another four 1-0 victories during the month. Poor Dessie believed that he was actually rejoining Manchester United. Anyway, Dermot Keely saw Danny Baker as a suitable replacement for the void filled by Neil Trebble. Limerick's home game with Longford is thrown into confusion when there are no goalposts available for the match. They decide to use jumpers for goals, a controversial decision as Tommy Lynch's jumper which was used actually covered one half of the pitch turning the game into a farce.
Drogheda are sadly almost relegated to Division One, needing to win all their remaining games to stay up. New manager John Hewitt's mix of experienced and young crap Scottish players was not helping the Drogs and Hewitt is given the sack. Dundalk legend Warren Patmore is drafted in from England as player manager. United Park is knocked down and sold for houses and a new ground is built for the Drogs in a location favoured by all the people of Drogheda and Louth, that location being the Isle Of Man. Donal Broughan is viciously assaulted by Pats fans after bringing his seasons total to 20 after another double hat-trick against Galway. The fans believe Broughan is halting Eddie Gormley from getting his first team place. Broughan is subsequently released by Pats and joins Kilkenny City who are now in Division One of the Leinster Senior League. However his registration form is not filled out properly so Kilkenny are kicked out of the Leinster Senior League. The battle for relegation hots up and Galway lead the race to join the Drogs in Division One, losing all their games in March. Sligo can't seem to drag themselves out of trouble and after an embarassing 13-11 home defeat to Bohs, Tommy Cassidy offers his resignation which is accepted and Martin Lawlor re-enters management at the Showgrounds
In Lawlors first game in charge, Sligo try to scrap their way out of trouble and secure a vital 0-0 draw at home to Galway in a game marred by 22 bookings, 15 pitch invasions, 8 red cards, four broken legs and seven different counts of grievous bodily harm. Drogheda go 3-0 down before half time in a real six pointer with Waterford. A worried Warren Patmore sends his subs out to warm up during half time but the second half is never played as the pitch was mysteriously flooded during the interval. The game is rescheduled for a week later and the Drogs win 1-0 although half of the Waterford players all got lost in traffic on the way to the ground. The Cup is also reaching a climax with Shelbourne, Longford, Limerick and St Pats into the semi finals. Shels defeat Longford 1-0 in Tolka Park while Limerick are shock winners at home to Pats who complained that some smaller players such as Trevor Molloy could not actually see above the grass level in Hogan Park in front of a 22,000 crowd. Limerick plan to sell Cup final tickets at their home game against Home Farm the following week which attracts a crowd of 22. Shelbourne secured the title with a remarkable record losing no matches at all. Their 2000 record was, played 16, won 16, scored 16, conceded 0. An excited Stephen Geogeghan rings Tony Sheridan up in Portadown to tell him the news. However he used one of his alleged stolen mobiles and spends the night in the cells.
Shelbourne secure the double on the third attempt against Limerick. Pat Scully headed home the winner in the 90th minute after 330 minutes without a goal. Shels secure the title while the poor old Drogs are relegated after an embarassing 0-5 home defeat to Derry. It later emerged that the five Drogheda players who had failed to turn up had pissed off to watch the motorbike races. Sligo join Drogheda in Division One, and the disclipinary fines amassed by Sligo during the last two months of the season actually finance the building of Eircom Park ahead of schedule. However despite the stadium being ready the FAI Cup Finals are staged in Belfield but RTE don't bother to send cameras. Bray and Dundalk are promoted from Division One however Bray are told their stadium is not up to Premier Division standard as the facilities are too good. Longford take their place in the top flight.
The off season is strangely quiet as the FAI offices are shut down while they all head off Belgium and Holland. Mick McCarthy heads off to USA with his Irish squad and calls up Colin Hawkins for the US Cup games. McCarthy, having watched Hawkins' progress carefully gives him his debut against Mexico, a game which Ireland lose 5-0. With the keeper, Hawkins , at fault for none of the goals. Gary Breen who was at fault for all five however is strongly defended by McCarthy who said "Breeny was unlucky to give the ball away before the first goal and the blame must lie with the keeper who should have had no trouble saving that volley from 10 yards into the top corner ".
In order to improve the performance of Irish clubs in Europe the FAI decide to import a team full of Norwegians who will join the various Irish clubs. Dermot Keely keeps his job however and manages to keep his Shels side together and they win 1-0 at home to crack Albanian outfit, FC Tirana. Limerick however are thumped 5-1 by Zimbru Chisinau with the Limerick goal coming from Ole Eric Sollbakke. The scores in both games are repeated in the away legs. Cork take pride of place though, they win 4-0 at home to Barnsley in Turners Cross and hold out for a 0-0 draw in England. Barnsley qualified for Europe as a result of the rule that the top thirty clubs in each country which had ever won a World Cup gained entry into Europe.
The Euro runs of Shels and Cork end, to the delight of the Irish newspapers. Shels are eliminated by Rangers again after the first leg was moved to a neutral venue, Windsor Park. Cork just missed out on qualification for the next phase after a 2-0 aggregate win over Parma. However the new UEFA rule whereby all big clubs receive three goal headstarts sees Cork eliminated. The transfer market was quiet over the Summer with the only notable moves made by Sligo who prepared for life in Division One by raiding Drogheda and signing Darren O Keeffe and Stephen Roche who mark their Sligo debuts against Drogheda by seeing their midfield opponents stretchered off with broken legs during the course of the match. Drogheda, with new man Gino Lawless at the helm made an official complaint to the FAI about the tackles by the Sligo players. However after an official enquiry, [well Bernard asked some guy he met down the pub], it transpired that the Drogs player actually slipped and broke their legs. What made them slip is unclear but the lack of toilet facilites in Sligo and the fact the Drogs had stopped for a few pints on the way down were seen as key clues in the search.
The League Cup brings excitement to people all over the country, well Drogheda when the Boynesiders reach the semi finals. The Drogs are knocked out by Shelbourne reserves in the semi finals in an action packed 2-0 win for Shels. It went down as the highest scoring total by Shels during the year. Derry with a team of eleven twenty year olds win the other semi final against non-League Rockmount. Bohs set the pace in the Premier Division but their eight match unbeaten run comes to an end against UCD. Roddy Collins said that the fact three of his players were on the undercard for a Mike Tyson fight in Las Vegas that night may have had something to do with it. UCD supporters club have their AGM. It is staged in the Gresham Hotel where the club booked a table for four to discuss the events of the year. Shamrock Rovers finally move to Tallaght, however after some late stipulations and protests the club after consulting with An Bord Pleanála and local residents announce that they are only allowed to play on Sunday mornings , games must only last for 60 minutes and that any person which raises their voice during the game is immediately removed from the 150 all seater stadium.
Longford are fined by the FAI for upgrading their stadium without coming begging to them first. Jim McDaid announces that he has £200 million for National League clubs but only if they get down on their knees and say" pretty please with a cherry on top ". Bohs return to the top of the League but Cork lead the chase. Cork were finding that travel costs have lessened for new season, mainly because most of their players were eligible for free bus passes. Home Farm and St Francis are joint top of Division One as which sees a record crowd of 104 descend on John Hyland Park for the big clash of the two. FAI president Pat Quigley is there to attend is overjoyed by a Home Farm win. " I used to hate them when they were associated with those Everton scum, especially with my being a Liverpool fan and all, and to come here and defeat Celtic was a great achievement ".
Limericks trip to Drogheda United almost ends in tragedy as on the boat journey to the Isle Of Man, Tommy Lynch leaves one side of the boat and goes to join his fellow players on the other. The boat capsizes under the weight but luckily the Limerick players clung onto Tommy's bulky frame until help came. Shamrock Rovers win 3-0 in a heated derby with Bohemians. However Rovers are kicked out of Tallaght after one of their fans cheered at an unacceptably high level after one of the goals. Shamrock Rovers move back to the RDS, and in their first game 24,000 turn out to watch them play Shelbourne. However after a 0-0 draw only 1,000 return the next week
After dropping Eddie Gormley who had a broken leg, Liam Buckley was finally shown the door by St Pats. The fans rejoiced but their cheers were silenced when Donal Broughan was appointed boss. In his first act as manager he decided that no under 18's were to be permitted to Pats games, this saw the crowds fall from 3,000 to 30. Broughan then decided to sell Eddie Gormley and Paul Osam and rename the club St Donals' Athletic. Shamrock Rovers, adjusting remarkably well to the RDS again stormed four points clear at the top from Shelbourne who had drawn everyone of their games so far 0-0. The year ends in turmoil however when it emerges that Finn Harps fielded an ineligible player in a match against Derry. Officials of Kilkenny and District League side, Kilkenny City call for Finn Harps' immediate expulsion from the League. However the ever fair FAI decide to award all three points from the game which ended in a 2-2 draw to Finn Harps. The reason being that if they had eleven legal players then they probably would have won.
I would like to apologise to all people who feel that they may have taken offence by some comments made above [apart from the Drogs ]