"AT THE END OF THE DAY"

Football Sayings

WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN - PART 1

You know the scene. Its just after the match, or in the days after , and again and again managers and players spout the same old football speak. And how predictable it is. The only thing worse than football cliches, is footballing cliches gone wrong, which many other sites and newspapers cover on a weekly basis in their quotes of the week section

It is not confirmed yet, but when a manager takes over a club for the first time, we believe that he receives through the post, a list of suggested phrases to use in after match interviews. It's the only logical reason that would explain how ever football manager in the world uses the same cliched phrases again and again and again [and again]. They then pass it down to their players, and so a vicious circle begins. But wouldn't it be more fun if managers spoke the truth, and said what they are thinking all the time in their interviews ? Are you sick of these diplomatic answers ? Well I am, and I'm also afraid of the sun, so I've decided to get to the bottom of this., What do they really mean, when they spout post match football lingo, or to use a more common term - bullsh*t. As I may have run out of ideas by the fourth phrase, I have decided to break this series into an undetermined number of parts.

[1] SCENARIO - An away game against the bottom team in the League turns into a dogfight, and his team wins courtesy of a freaky late goal

WHAT THEY SAY - "[Ground Name] is always a difficult place to get a result "

WHAT THEY MEAN - I can't believe we nearly threw that one away. I'm so lucky, I was brickin it until we scored.

[2] SCENARIO - A player who has been having a bad time of late, is left out of the starting eleven

WHAT THEY SAY - "Well, its up to him to fight to get his place back in the team"

WHAT THEY MEAN - He's on the transfer list, and as far as I'm concerned, he won't be playing for us again. He'll only get in if we're down to our last eleven players. Tell Drogheda we have a player for them

[3] SCENARIO - Manager of side who just lost 1-0 at home to bottom side in league speaks to the press afterwards

WHAT THEY SAY "Well, there are no easy games in this Division"

WHAT THEY MEAN - I can't believe we lost to them, they're shite !

[4] SCENARIO - In the run up to the biggest game of the season, an injury crisis sweeps through the camp. The manager plays down fears

WHAT THEY SAY - We've got a great bunch of lads who are ready to come in and do a job for the team

WHAT THEY MEAN - We're screwed, we're screwed, we're screwed, we're gonna give our first teamers numerous injections and rush them into action

[5] SCENARIO - After winning the Cup quarter final, and set to face the weakest opposition left in the semis, the victorious manager is interviewed

WHAT THEY SAY - Well, it's a great win, but we've got to take each game as it comes. We're focused on the semi final now

WHAT THEY MEAN - We're in the final ! We're going to win the Cup ! Woohoo, Europe here we come !

[6] SCENARIO - A manager is interviewed after a boring match, in which his side win expectedly

WHAT THEY SAY - Well, at the end of the day, obviously, we're delighted to come away with a result

WHAT THEY MEAN - Why am I stating the obvious ? . Why are you talking to me ? Why am I saying this ?

[7] SCENARIO - Three days ahead of a pointless League game, a manager speaks after his side win a crucial Cup match

WHAT THEY SAY - We'll have a little celebration tonight, a quiet one, as our minds are still focused on the game at the weekend

WHAT THEY MEAN - We're gonna get absolutely hammered tonight, and if our hangovers have recovered by the weekend, we'll give it a shot

[8] SCENARIO - A player, out of contract in the Summer is interviewed about his future at a not so prestigious club

WHAT THEY SAY - Well, I'm really enjoying my time here, but I'll have to weigh up my options in the Summer

WHAT THEY MEAN - Staying at this club ? Are you insane ? I am out of here, it's been good, but I'm too good for this lot

[9] SCENARIO - A player speaks of reported interest in him by another not so prestigious club

WHAT THEY SAY - Obviously, I am flattered by their interest in me

WHAT THEY MEAN - Who do they think they are ? There's no way I'll ever play with them, but it might be enough to warrant a new contract here !

[10] SCENARIO - A manager at a smaller club, is questioned about interest in him by a bigger club

WHAT THEY SAY - I'm quite happy where I am at the moment. It's a great club, and the atmosphere is great

WHAT THEY MEAN - If you are interested in employing me ..please CALL ME now. I am open to all offers !

[11] SCENARIO - A manager speaks after a game against his side's fiercest rivals. His team was 4-1 up at the break, but ended up losing 6-4 after a dreadful defensive performance in the second half, most notably from the right back

WHAT THEY SAY - I think everyone has to feel responsible for what happened out there this evening

WHAT DAMIEN RICHARDSON SAID - I don't want to single out individuals, but our right back went missing for the whole second half

WHAT WE SAY - Damien, we salute you !

[12] SCENARIO - A player is interviewed after an epic game in which his side win on a penalty shootout

WHAT THEY SAY - Obviously, we're delighted with the win. It was unfair one team had to lose, but we're glad it was us. We're sure they'll be back next year

WHAT THEY MEAN - Did you see that ? What a sickener ! Did you see them crying ? Magic !

[13] SCENARIO - A player receives his man of the match award, and is asked for a few words afterwards

WHAT THEY SAY - At the end of the day, it was a team effort. All the lads worked hard for the victory

WHAT THEY MEAN - Those guys are lucky they had me, or they would have been slaughtered out there

[14] SCENARIO - A manager is interviewed about a penalty awarded to his team, after one of his players clearly dived in the penalty area

WHAT THEY SAY - Well, from my vantage point, I couldn't really see what happened. But he is adamant his heels were clipped

WHAT THEY MEAN - Of course I saw it.I didn't sit down for the whole match ! I told him if anyone got near him in the area to go down, and the boy did it well. He'll be well rewarded

[15] SCENARIO - A manager is interviewed after his side's 4-0 win over a smaller side in the Cup, after the defeated side's heroic Cup run in which they had captured the public imigination

WHAT THEY SAY - They gave us a good game, and the scoreline flattered us in the end to be honest

WHAT THEY MEAN - That was easy, we could have won by more if we wanted. I can't believe we didn't score more ! At least you'll shut up about them now

At the end of the day, obviously, its all on the day, but this series will continue in the future, to be honest