CORK FAN - Come on Jackeens. City - unbeaten 100%. Are you watching Prenderville . Ha ha. Ollie, Ollie
UCD FAN - Hang on there, you only hold a slender advantage over Pats who play you at home on .. Look who is that man trying to hang himself .
DERRY FAN - Bohs fan, No
ROVERS FAN - It's his choice. If the man wants to die let him die. If he needs help, I'll give him help. In fact if anyone here wants to inflict pain on themselves, I'm your man.
Derry fan unties rope and helps Bohs fan down.
BOHS FAN - Turlo O Connor, Turlo bleedin O Connor. What did I do to deserve this
LIMERICK FAN - Have you been to church ?
BOHS FAN - I don't even know what's going on. Who's the manager, where am I, where's Harry, what about Raff, where do I live, where am I, who are you
LONGFORD FAN - I'm Longford fan. I'll return to lurking at the back quietly now
BOHS FAN - Who the hell is Turlo gonna sign. John Ryan, Joe Hanrahan, Dave Henderson
DROGHEDA FAN - Gerry Ryan's a turlo, is a turlo
HARPS FAN - How about Peter Hutton. He's stuck in the Irish League
UCD FAN - Yeah, who'd have thought of signing Peter Hutton from Portadown.
PATS FAN - Good idea Harps fan
LIMERICK FAN - You're a good Catholic boy
DERRY FAN - I can't believe this is happening. This is ridiculous. You copy everything we do. For gods sakes you named your children after mine you drive the same car as me, you married the twin sister of my wife.
PATS FAN [sighs] -There's no pleasing some people
GALWAY FAN - Chill out man
BOHS FAN - What about the stadium, what about relegation. We're playing Rovers on telly.
Bohs fan jumps through window
GALWAY FAN - I am liking the Division One table. The teams are behind Galway and we are winning. What a week we're top of the table and Cool Runnings was on TV
PREMIERSHIP FAN - I'm great, the people of Dublin want top class football with stars such as Michael Owen and David Beckham.I love Beckham. And what about England losing to Sweden. I love seeing England lose
PATS FAN - You're so hypocritical. You say you love
Beckham but hate him when he plays for England
PREMIERSHIP FAN - Huh
PATS FAN - Are you listening
ROVERS FAN - Come on then Premiership boy
PREMIERSHIP FAN [ crying ] - Mammy told me not to talk to strangers
UCD FAN - Why do our discussions always stray from the main point
DROGHEDA FAN - What did you say about my mother ?
LIMERICK FAN - God bless us and save us
ATHONE FAN - Forza Collo. Adrian Carberry
UCD FAN - See what I mean
CORK FAN - City, City
BRAY FAN - We're third for god sakes. I'm so excited I could talk
SHELBOURNE FAN - We haven't talked about Keely yet
PATS FAN - We'll all fall asleep. It's like watching his teams play .
UCD FAN - I've gotta go. I've got lectures to go to
GALWAY FAN - I've got a cocktail at home with my name on it
LIMERICK FAN - I've got confession to go to
ROVERS FAN - And I'm going house hunting
So the Leaguers depart until the next time. If you see a man running by your house with a Bohs shirt over his head screaming frantically. Take no notice