NATIONAL LEAGUERS #5
This week the Division One fans are early for the meeting. They decide to have a chat about the situation in Division one
Long Silence
KILKENNY FAN - Close isn't it
LONGFORD FAN [ staring at wall ] - Yep
GALWAY FAN - Yaman
Long silence
DROGHEDA FAN - Craptown, craptown
MONAGHAN FAN - Sure is
Long silence
LIMERICK FAN - Does anyone here ever ponder the meaning of life ?
Extremely long silence
ATHLONE FAN - Did I ever tell you about the time that Athlone dr
LONGFORD FAN [interrupting ] - Yes
KILKENNY FAN - What time are the Premier Division fans coming at
GALWAY FAN - When the clock strikes two
COBH FAN - Did you put the clock back an hour
GALWAY FAN - I put it forward man
COBH FAN - It was meant to go back
LONGFORD FAN - Oh sh
ATHLONE FAN [interrupting ] - Do you think if we turned the clock back into the 80's we could catch the end of the Milan match
Very long silence
KILKENNY FAN - Here they come
PATS FAN - Hey guys, why weren't you at the meeting
MONAGHAN FAN - Meeting ?
PATS FAN - Yeah, the one about the future of the National League
SHELS FAN - They weren't invited,[ Turns to Dundalk fan ] Division One has no future
DUNDALK FAN - I'm so scared
DROGHEDA FAN - Roy Fox, he was in Back to the Future
UCD FAN - Yeah, that's right, chump
PATS FAN - I like the new proposals. A minimum of 1500 seats in the Premier and 800 in Division One.
COBH FAN - 800, it's not a bloody cup final
SHELS FAN [ turns to Dundalk fan ] - 800 isn't too much to build
DUNDALK FAN - I'm so scared
PATS FAN - No problem to us, we're great
CORK FAN - We might as well build 10,000 seats
PATS FAN - Maybe even 20,000
ROVERS FAN -That's crap, We'll build, we'll build.... Ok who wants to fight.
DUNDALK FAN - We'll build a new lounge for the directors. We'll call it the extra grand lounge
SHELS FAN - Whatever we do, we'll probably mess it up, besides why should we, we're only Shels, we're pessimists
DERRY FAN - And what about the manager sityation
Silence
HARPS FAN - And what about the manager sityation
WATERFORD FAN - Shocking altogether
ATHLONE FAN - I haven't a clue what's going on. Where the hell is Denis Clarke gone. He played against Milan
BOHS FAN - Turlo O Connor's a bleedin disgrace
Bohs fan's mobile phone goes off, he talks for a minute and comes back
BOHS FAN - Like I said Turlo's a great fella
Bray fan coughs
BRAY FAN - Sorry about that lads won't interrupt again
PATS FAN - Jesus Christ
LIMERICK FAN - Where ?
PATS FAN - No I mean Jesus Christ look at the time, we're all invited to the gala dinner to look back at the year in the League gone past
SHELS FAN - I know I ordered a 12 seater minibus, They probably forgot, or else it crashed and the driver's dead
HARPS FAN - Here it is
The 12 Premier Division fans climb into the bus
GALWAY FAN - Come on lads is there room for us
Pats fan slams door in all the Division One fans faces
DUNDALK FAN - Ha ha
SHELS FAN - Don't get too comfortable
DUNDALK FAN - I'm so scared
The bus speeds off into the distance leaving the Division One fans behind. More National Leaguers when I can think of a storyline that makes sense.
The End