[1] FIXTURE CHAOS
What would a season be without one ? 2001/2 will bring us more fixture chaos as the season ends in March. Guaranteed before the end of the season is a no show by one club at a prominent game, leading to widespread embarassment for the whole League. Bad weather at Christmas will be the predominate cause, added to Cup replays and Leinster Cup games. This will lead to some leading Dublin club having to play four games in a week, and refusing to do so due to the fact it fecks up their plan to use up suspensions in Leinster Senior Cup games. It will end up in the newspapers, on Liveline, Sportscall and make up the last five minutes of The Last Word on Today FM so they can have a laugh. Then, after it's over all the clubs promise it will never happen again, and blame it on the FAI. Summer soccer will be proclaimed as the saviour
[2] A LIQUIDATION THREAT
Whose it going to be this year ? The bookies will stop offering odds on the various League titles, and instead offer odds on which club will go into liquidation first. When it happens, the board of that club will blame it on the wages of players nowadays. Some journalists will write hard hitting doom and gloom pieces on the topic, suggesting there should be a wage cap or something equally unworkable. Sunday papers who don't normally give a toss will suddenly take an interest. Celtic will send over their under 15's to solve the immediate problem. This will provide enough money to the club in crisis so that they can bring in a few big name players to save them from relegation
[3] PLAYER WILL PLAY FOR AT LEAST SIX CLUBS
Yeah, it always happens. There's always players who move around from club to club, throughout a season with careless abandon. Sometimes, they spend years at one club, and then when the time comes to leave that club, try out two or three before settling at another one. Recent examples, Tommy Byrne, Eoin Mullen. Current Kilkenny player Gordon Johnston is doing particularly well. In the past two seasons, he has played for Home Farm, Monaghan, St Francis, St Patricks Athletic and Kilkenny City. Not bad going, eh ? Well, I believe that one player this year will break all previous records and play for six clubs in one season. Could this be Richie Parsons' year ?
[4] BATTLE FOR TV COVERAGE GOES NOWHERE
Oh there'll be talk alright. The quest for better coverage on RTE will continue, as we demand a "Match Of The Day" style programme. RTE will answer any angry e-mails stating that eircom League games don't warrant such a programme as the audiences aren't good enough. Instead, live games every two months or so are considered more productive and sensible. Discussions are reported as taking place over improved coverage, but nothing ever comes out of them. TV3 appear interested, then don't. We all hope it will be changed next year
[5] START OF LEAGUE SEASON WILL BE IGNORED
This is pretty much a certainty. In the eyes of the media the eircom League season begins sometime around November. Therefore, no cameras will be sent to games before then, and no references will be made to any of those games at all in conversations on the Soccer Show. More annoyingly, the best part of the season will be the first few months. Six or seven goal thrillers are guaranteed while the cameras aren't present. Even more baffingly, cameras will be at some of those games, but the pictures will never actually be released to the public. Recent examples, Shelbourne 4 Bohemians 2, early season 2000/2001
[6] THE SOCCER SHOW WILL DISAPPOINT
The Soccer Show will re-appear on our screens around the afore mentioned November date. It will be broadcast at an obscure hour and will be out of date by the time it is shown. It will take an inexplicable break at Christmas time and finish several weeks before the end of the season. RTE will use it as an example of a show for National League fans but most of the show will be about the development of soccer schools in remote areas of the country, and will give plenty of people a chance to see their face on television. A feature on the guy who sews the numbers on the Ireland shirts is also guaranteed
[7] EURO EXITS BRING SCANDINAVIAN REFORMS
When the National League clubs exit Europe, the media will query why our clubs aren't doing well. The managers of the clubs which ousted the Irish clubs will commend their "fighting spirit and physical strength" in a patronising manner. Doubtless, the example of the Scandinavian clubs will be cited as a model Irish clubs should seek to copy. There'll be a nice holiday to Sweden or Norway for several League officials, but again the results of the "discussions" will never be revealed. Someone will devise a five year plan that will bring Irish clubs to world domination. Soon everyone will get back to domestic in-fighting and bring it all back up again in July
[8] FAI SCANDAL
Sure why not ? We've had Eircom Park, credit card problems and ticket scams. Season 2001/2 will no doubt bring another FAI scandal that the Sunday Tribune and John O'Brien from the Sunday Times will uncover after hearing from an "FAI insider". The association will take abuse from everyone, but stand firm to their old principles of ...not solving the problem at all and hoping everyone will forget
[9] OLD FAVOURITE RETURNS TO FORMER CLUB
Guaranteed to happen. At some stage during the season either a former managerial or playing great from a particular club, will return to that club when they get into a spot of bother. Of course, it won't go as well the second time around and things will end up a bit sour in the end. Indeed several managers will part company with their clubs during the season by "mutual agreement". The true details of the split will never be revealed and guesswork and rumours will be banded about as reasons
[10] SOMETHING MAJOR HAPPENS INVOLVING DUNDALK
It always happens ! Call me paranoid ? 2000/1 gave us Portmarnock and the Cup fiasco. 1999/2000 was the whole Kilkenny saga and all that came with it. 1998/99 saw the financial dark days and the whole squad being put up for sale. All three were national news at the time and saw Dundalk featured in all newspapers. Lets hope this years major Dundalk FC story will bring a happy ending !