Pats win through to Champions League. Shelbourne under new manager Turlough O Connor lose 7-6 on aggregate to Dinamo Minsk with Peter Hanrahan , Joe Hanrahan and James Coll outstanding. Cork lose as do Rovers - League Cup starts no-one cares.
League gets in full flow with Bohs starting well .They worry opposition with the Haka before the match and their New Zealanders are working a wonder. With Bohs , Rovers , Shels , Clydebank , and Home Farm all playing at Tolka the pich is divided in two so more games can be played. Turlough O Connors new signing Brendan Bradley welcomes the proposal. Pats make it to the Champions League but RTE still show Manchester United. The National Leagues new highlights programme is released. Presented by Tracy Piggott it replaces News For The Deaf. Dundalk's new Russians arrive and prove a big hit but complain about the warm climate. In international matters Ireland lose to Croatia after a calamity where every English based central defender on the squad are injured in a plane crash . McCarthy resisted the temptation to pick Colin Hawkins and sticks by his Connolly-Kennedy central defensive partnership
Bohs new signing Jonah Lomu scores a sensational effort in Bohs dramatic 9-7 win over Shels . Shels stormed into a seven - nil lead thru goals form Don Givens [ 7] . The game turned around at half time when Graham Lawlor agreed to play after getting the aeroplane he demanded. He scored 5 , Tony McCarthy scored 3 own goals and Lomu grabbed a sensational winner. 6 Shels players were treated in hospital afterwards. No RTE camera was there as they were covering the Irish Pubs Darts Championships. Derry are thrown out of the league after fielding only 3 players against Dundalk . The rest of the Derry squad were found hiding in a secret location in Ballybofey . UCD and Limericks League Cup tie is thrown into confusion when no-one turns up. Wimbledon to Dublin resurfaces again when the Irish Independent reports that the sister of the secretary of the European Court supports the move
Pats are docked 6 points for over promoting the league. Shels new strike force of Steve Archibald and Fran Hitchcock grab two each in a 4-0 defeat of UCD who are cheered on by a buoyant travelling support of 1. Bray and Waterford are relegated. Drogheda and Kilkenny are promoted from Division One . Ireland lose again 8-0 but Mick McCarthy commends his central defensive duo David Connolly and Mark Kennedy on a fine performance. Bohs storm 18 points clear with Jonah Lomu the leagues top scorer on 29 goals.
Pats sign David Connolly who is immediately removed from the Ireland squad and replaced in the centre of defence by Mick McCarthy's son Paul. A dismayed Connolly scores on his debut . He says he wants to make the 139 shirt his own. the League Cup is won by St James Gate who were re-instated . They defeat Shels in the final who played their reserve team with Pat Scully and Stephen Geogeghan particularly disappointing. Damien Richardson returns to management with Limerick . Tony Sheridan immediately joins Limerick and finds the Limerick lifestyle more to his liking. Sam Hammam claims that God himself supports the Dons to Dublin move
The 1st round of the cup springs many a suprise when UCD are stunned by Longford in front of a bumper 13 crowd at Belfield. LImerick lose to Pats in the live game and the Richardson interview after the game sets the Network 2 scheduling back by 4 hours. Bohs lead is cut to 14 by Finn Harps who are sporting their new red and white shirts. Liam Coyle and Gary Beckett combined to set up Paul Curran for their goal in a one nil win over Bohs. Shels lose out 4-3 to Bray despite a wonderful hat trick by Terry Eviston for Shels. Galway sign 9 more Barbados internationals to bring a bit of life to Terryland . Yet they all flee when one breaks the window in the indoor seating area. George Hamiltom mutters an amusing anecdote - no-one listens
Finn Harps red and white army march on when Felix Healy grabs a hat trick against Cork but is then immediately snapped up by Shelbourne who say the kid has a bright future ahead of him. Damien Richardson gets his own programme on RTE called Damo's theses. The show kills out all remaining insomniacs in the country. Dave Barry persuades Patsy Freyne not too hang up his boots for the seventh time. Jonah Lomu hits the 50 goal mark while David Connolly scores his 24th of the season for Pats in a 8-8 bore draw with Dundalk although no camera was present
The cup semi final draw sees Pats play Bohs and Longford play non league Derry City. Pats win with a goal from their new star in the 148 shirt , Pat Dolan who returned from retirement. The new slimmer Dolan also scored 4 in a 5-4 aggregate win over Man Utd in the Champions League quarter finals. Bill O Herlihy said it was a sad day for irish football now Man Utd were out and said the nations hopes now lie with Arsenal . Charlie Mc Creevy announces his budget 2 months late due to a delay in finding the money for the GAA who get £400 million . This leads to cutbacks elsewhere and leaves thousands unemployed. The FAI receives £5 which is spent on getting someone to update their website. Mick McCarthy is sacked and replaced by Jack Charlton who sacks Brian Kerr and re-instates Maurice Setters as manager of Irelands youth teams . Setters gives a debut to an Irish bricklayer in Lancashire who replaces Colin Hawkins in central defence.
The league looks set for a dramatic climax when Bohs falter and Finn Harps , Bohs , Pats and Cork all go into the last day level on points with Cork down to play Bohs and Harps to play Pats on the 1st May. Irelands new tactics confuse Robbie Keane who suffers a stiff neck from looking at Ireland's defensive clearances. Jack Charlton delights the crowd at a pre-match press conference when he tells a story about a time when he accidentally went to a National League match . Non League Derry City get ready for their cup final by signing three players on the O Connor ruling where any player over 35 can play for whoever he wants. The playoff game is to be between UCD and Limerick .
The country is thrown into confusion when with both league deciding games poised at 2-2 a newsflash interupts with the news that David Beckham and Posh Spice's engagement is off. With no News 2 that night people have to wait until the morning papers to read that a late Phil Coulter goal gave Harps the title . Fans reminisce about league wins gone by and how it was like 1989. non-league Derry win the Cup Final 1-0 thanks to an unfortunate own goal by Willie Burke. Limerick are promoted and immediately install a wooden bench behind both goals to prepare for the crowd increase. Pat Dolan scores 2 and lifts the Champions Cup for Pats. A great season for Dolan who undertook 6 jobs . He was a player , manager , physio , kit man , chief executive and sold programmes. The club is renamed St Pat. Shelbourne finish their last match with no players as they all are carried off with exhaustion. So the season comes to a close with crowds up 25% and an amazing 22000 goals .
25/1 on this to happen in Paddy Powers . If you bet on it you've been out on the town with Dunphy