ORIEL WEB AWARDS FOR 1998

1998 will go down as a memorable year in the history of mankind. Many important advances in technology, many world records achieved, it was the year of the World Cup, the year when athletes achieved new levels of performance and the Irish hypocrites forgot all the jokes and jibes they made about Sonia O Sullivan and branded her a reformed national hero and a year when Eamonn Dunphy became the nutritionist of the Festina team for the Tour De France.

The Oriel Web awards has nothing to do with the above. These awards deal with the National League and Dundalk FC. A tribute to the people who spend their Friday, Saturday or Sunday travelling up and down the country for the love or their team. Our pals in the football media are also included in this awards ceremony as well but enough talk, on to the awards.

MOST HATED PLAYER TO VISIT ORIEL PARK

The player who received the worst treatment this year was Mark Rutherford of Shels but the small band of racist bigots who drag our club down should be ignored at all times. Dave Hill always seems to be in trouble when he plays down Oriel way. The grace in which he lines up the shot and executes it finely is respected by all but the player he has just knocked out. The player I dislike most is Patsy Freyne who has an uncanny ability to dive at the most unlikely oppourtunity but I think Hill shades this one

PRAT OF THE YEAR

There are a lot of contenders for this one with the whole RTE sports department in there. There are of course the people of Dundalk who won't come out and support the team and laugh feebly at the efforts of the loyal few so with 75,000 or so possibles it's hard to pick a winner. Personally I'd go for a draw between Bill O Herlihy, Eamonn Dunphy and Des Cahill with honourable mentions for Johnny Giles, Joe Kinnear and the editor of the Irish Times. Bill for being such a typical fickle Irish person, the kind of man who would slap your back when you're up and kick you when you're down. Eamonn for being the same grumpy old hindrance to society and to Des Cahill for every morning completely ignoring the National League and humour the nation with his little cute references to Manchester United which haunt me everywhere I go. If Ireland ever develops it's own space programme I would nominate these three men to go up to space and then I would leave FAI running the operation on the ground and see the whole thing crumble

MOST HUMOUROUS MOMENT OF THE YEAR

The comparison between Eamonn Dunphy and a sheep on Don't Feed the Gondolas was quite funny as was Michael Harte slide tackling the referee but for me it has to be at Dalymount Park when Bohs keeper Michael Dempsey was concussed after a collision with Peter Withnell. Dempsey was left on for the next 5 minutes and spent the time trying to find out where he was. He stumbled drunkenly around the goalmouth in circles even when Dundalk were in the Bohs half. Another funny moment at this game was when Withnell had nailed a Bohs player and while he lay motionless on the ground and the physio came on a Bohs fan shouted " He fell asleep "

GOAL OF THE YEAR

David Hoey's delightful lob against Derry was good, as was McNulty's volley in the return fixture but for me it has to be Donal Broughan's own goal in the first round of the FAI Cup. What the Bohs fans must have thought when Donal with his flowing main of brown hair jogged effortlessly up to the ball and volleyed it powerfully past his own keeper. Fantastic.

PERSONAL HIGHLIGHT OF THE YEAR

My highlight of the year was jumping up and down in the living room with excitement after Shels went three up against Rangers and Pats were holding Celtic to 0-0 draw. I put on text to read the scores and see what they looked like on the screen and I thought of all the cynics looking up the scores and being amazed

PERSONAL LOWLIGHT OF THE YEAR

3-1, 3-2, 3-3, 3-4, 3-5. Shels just could not hold on but with Tony McCarthy continuing the GAA game from training it was inevitable Shels would concede a penalty. Another lowlight was the players leaving the pitch after the Bohs game after playing undiluted rubbish for 90 minutes of dreariness.

QUOTE OF THE YEAR

"The actions of the Travel Club have been quite disgraceful ". Phil Flynn endearing himself to the loyal bunch of followers Dundalk have. It's like if Bertie Ahern called the people of Ireland a bunch of idiots before election time. A case of Flynn making a complete eejit out of himself and he has not been at enough games since to prove otherwise.

SHOCK OF THE YEAR

The appearance of a camera at the Dundalk v Pats game. Not only that but RTE had managed to get there in time as well without getting lost or forgetting the way

MOST NERVOUS WEEK OF THE YEAR

The week after the squad was put up for sale and we didn't know who was coming or going. Seeing the club going through turmoil was not nice

LIE OF THE YEAR

The Dundalk directos saying that we are a community club. The community of course, stretching from one end of the Grand Club Lounge to the other.

PLAYER OF THE YEAR

One Steve Williams, there's only one Steve Williams.

HOPE FOR NEXT YEAR

That Dundalk will make money, build a new stand. That the National League champions progress in Europe, that RTE ditch the Premiership. That Eamonn Dunphy leaves Ireland to join the Church Of Scientology and that the crowds come back to Oriel Park.