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Farmer John

Farmer John decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to
take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court.
In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer
John.

"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm
fine,'" said the lawyer. Farmer John responded, "Well I'll tell you what
happened. I had just loaded my favorite donkey Rosie
into the......."

"I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the
question."  "Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, you were fine?"

Farmer John said, "Well I had just got Rosie into the trailer and I was
driving down the road..."

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish
the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Police Officer that 
he was just fine.  Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to Sue my client."  I believe he is a fraud.  Please tell him to simply answer the question."

By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer John's answer and
said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite donkey Rosie."

John thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Well as I was saying, I had just
loaded Rosie, my favorite donkey, into the trailer and was driving her down the road when this huge lorry and trailer drove through the stop sign and smacked my trailer right in the side.  I was thrown into one ditch and Rosie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move.

However, I could hear poor ole Rosie moaning and groaning.  I knew she was in
terrible pain just by her groans.  Shortly after the accident a Garda Officer came along. He could hear Rosie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her he took out his shotgun and shot her between the eyes.

Then the Patrolman came across the road with his shotgun in his hand and looked at me."
He said, "Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her.

How are you feeling?"

**********

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Or

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me not you! 

**********

WAP WAP 

German scientists were digging and at approximately 100 meters depth they discovered pieces of copper cables running in parallel lines. They were wondering what copper cables were doing 100 meters underground. When they figured it out, they held a press conference and announced that ancient Germans had invented the telephones system some10,000 yrs ago. Proving that they were the most technologically advanced people in the world

British scientists not wanting to be out done by the Germans started digging and at  100 meters they found nothing but at about 200 meters they discovered some glass strands running in parallel lines. With great fanfare the British scientists called a press conference to announce to the World that ancient British had invented a fiber optic telephone system almost 20,000 yrs ago. Proving that they were the most technologically advanced people in the world.