Things not to say to Sifu

 

 

 

* After his impressive breaking demo, say ' boards don't hit back

* Instead of bowing to him, raise your hand and say ' give me five

* What would you do if I shot you ?

* That looks just like Karate * But WHY would a monkey steal a peach?

* Yes, sensei.

* 'That looks more like an ape than a cat...'

* I'm just trying to sweat out a hangover today, so could you take it easy on me?

* When will I be a sifu?

'You are not a Jedi yet.'

* Ever get your ass kicked ?

* That's not how Billy Blank punches. * Can we start a Tae Bo class ?

* No, no, Sifu... it's like a finger pointing at the moon...

* No way! If a monkey fought a tiger then the monkey would NEVER win!

* Dragon Fan Form? So you've seen a dragon using a fan have you?

* How the hell can a panther make a fist?

* All right - now show us that again, but put these 18 hole Doc Martens on first. That's what people in the street wear

*Ah, so Jit Fu means Blocking Tiger. How many bullets can a tiger block?

* You come one step closer, old man, and you'll be coughing up pepper spray for a week! * 'What do I do with this long stick?'

* 'Your kung fu may be good, but I bet I can drink you under the table...'

* 'What do you do in real life?'

* That pushing hands didn't look real. He was just falling over for you."

* 'The guy in the dojo down the road says your kung fu is pants...'

* 'Aah! Daniel-san!' * 'Aah! Grasshopper!' * (when sifu shows you a technique).."yeah, but check THIS out...".

* "...hmmm...yeah, that's cool, but I don't know if Bruce would do it that way...".

* I don't think you could hurt anyone with that technique.

* Bruce Lee was the greatest martial artist of all times.

* Wow, your daughter is one hot babe !

* I can't get that block right, can you show me it again (P.S. Be sure to have cell phone pre-dialed to 911 if you use this.

* Oh, come on! That wouldn't really work.

* That workout wasn't tough at all.