ARMED ROBBERY, LEGGED ROBBERY, RANDOM ACTS OF VAMPIRISM
EMER BREW
Photograph taken in 1999
|
| Aliases: Emu, Blondie, Bimbo the Clown, Eripmav, Reme |
DESCRIPTION
| Date of Birth: |
June 12th 6026 BC |
Hair: |
Debatable |
| Place of Birth: |
Primordial Sludge, Pangea |
Eyes: |
Blue |
| Height: |
6'10'' |
Sex: |
Sometimes |
| Weight: |
17 pounds |
Race: |
Blonde |
| Occupations: |
Opera singer, Vampire |
Nationality: |
Irish |
| Remarks: |
Suffers from Wackophobia - the fear of psychotic
killer clowns. |
| Scars and Marks: |
Lobotamy stitchs are still visible across
forehead. |
Social Security
Number: |
1800 - PEROXIDE
|
CAUTION
IS KNOWN TO BE IN POSSESSION OF AT LEAST ONE MANIC STREET PREACHERS ALBUM.
APPROACH WITH CAUTION.
CONSIDERED DANGEROUS
IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION CONCERNING THIS PERSON, PLEASE CONTACT YOUR LOCAL DAFT OFFICE OR THE NEAREST U.S. EMBASSY OR CONSULATE.
REWARD
A reward of up to $5 and packet of fish-fingers is being offered for any information
leading directly to the arrest of Emer Brew.
DAFT No. # 6972DA1
January 2000
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