Be Responsible For Your Own Happiness

When you hand over responsibility for your happiness to people or circumstances outside yourself you are on the Road to Nowhere!  Does your happiness depend on your husband/wife/son/daughter giving up the booze, getting a good job, coming off drugs, out of prison, getting married, getting divorced, getting a house……..whatever?  Does you being happy depend on winning the court case/the lotto, the sun shining, getting that job, changing your job, going out with him/her, having more money, getting that car……whatever?  If it does…boy are you in trouble!  And we all slide down that slippery slop so gently and slowly yet so fast that we’re there before we realize it.  And that’s just where I found myself this week…at the bottom of that slippery slope!

I found to my utter amazement that in spite of everything I know and everything I practice that for the past two weeks, without being really consciously aware of it….I had been waiting for that phone call……focusing all my energy on being ready when it came, having my house clean and tidy and myself looking as attractive as I can get!!  And yes, eventually the phone rang and it was him, only his message was not the one I was expecting and hoping for and that was when I suddenly realized with a jolt what I had been doing…….waiting for him to say and do something that would make me happy. …what an idiot!

So, what did I do about it?  Well, first I swore “I’ll never let that happen me again!” and tried to convince myself that it did not really matter anyway.  Then I had a little drink and of course everything looked worse through the bottle and so I had a little cry! And then I had a little sleep (and the next bit is important….) telling myself that when I woke up the world would look better.

Well, guess what….the world did look better the next morning and I went for a long walk.  At first my thoughts were jumping all over the place and after about 2 miles I found myself focusing on and asking to be one with My Higher Self, My Inner Being and asked for enlightenment from the Holy Spirit.  My head started to clear and the more I thought about it the more I realized I was only trying to fool myself the night before.  It did matter and I had better get to the bottom of whatever ‘it’ was that mattered if I was to feel better.  I realized that I wasn’t suffering from “lost love” as such but rather from lost “self-love”  In attempting and focusing on getting everything on the outside perfect and ready for someone else’s approval I had neglected to appreciate myself, my inner being for what I am.  I had got lost, temporarily, in the physical and also made another person and his actions the center of my little universe, upon which my happiness depended.

Now to my amazement 24 hours later I am laughing at myself (genuinely) for getting into that position but at the same time thankful for the experience and the renewed appreciation I feel for myself, my life, my circumstances and my re-connection to my Inner Self and Source.  We came here to experience all this Earth and these physical bodies have to offer us, the ‘bad’ as well as the ‘good’.  And it is very often in the ‘painful’ that we grow the most.  As I grow in ‘awareness’ I am conscious when going through painful experiences that Life is like a virtual reality game and I can change the storyline at any time because I am the Creator and Storyteller of my own story.  Funnily enough it is that thought (perversely, I suppose) that lets me play out the painful episodes to the end!

For consultations on creating your own story contact Mara at 086-8936972.