Well, I’m two weeks into my latest retirement and I must say things are rolling along nicely. Last Monday, when the lads were running around in short pants up in Harlequins, I watched Buffy The Vampire Slayer and had a nice cheese sandwich with a cup of tea. Next Monday, when the lads are playing AIB, I’ll be watching Buffy but I think I’ll try ham and coleslaw this time. Fair enough, I miss the cut and thrust of competitive football and watching Brennie make death-defying leaps on the astroturf but hey, at least I can still relax in the pub and enjoy and pint and a fag.

(NEWS FLASH - Stevie plans a dramatic return to competitive football in late March... more later - Ed)