Well if you dont believe me check out page 6 of the "Irish" Mirror (Wed 31 July). The artical tells us that the numbers of "reported" syphilis cases have soared from 6 in 1999 to an all time high of 458! thats what is all about but I don't think we're really aplying ourselves.The paper tells us that we all owe a debt of gratitude to this one woman syphilis speading machine. So all yous who like golden oldies(Dules) or are Retrosexual (Dules) beware your ass might just get a pummled by her.

Well from Syph to Surf this is the kind of "newz" that that keeps the world in motion. This is what we all like to see. Just looking at page 5 of the paper you wouldn't notice a thing but in there lay a little "peach" of a story on the bottom left corner. Who would have ever thought that such a great story could be contained in only 28 words.Have a read click here.

The Tard people around the earth have a leader. The dropped child of the mongloid world is set to become a huge success. For the next two to three months Jade of Big Brother variety is prime tabloid material due to utter stupidity and her willingness to get her jabbers out. Perhaps she could stretch her shelf life if she can get a Dwight Yorke bun in the oven.This random member of the public has a special message for Jade click here to see.She already raking it in with her new ad campain. click here to see.

We were all were hoping it would happen and no I'm not talking about a Britney porno, I'm on about the fact that Dublin has become the Syphilis capital of the world. This really is a major achievement when you consider the likes of Bankok, Amsterdam and Kinnegad were all in the running.

There I am flicking through the pages of the Wicklow times a great aul read, full of tales of sheep molestation and people in Bray gettng done for drug abuse and surfing. Then suddenly one of the headlines hit me.Bam! just like that as Tommy Cooper himself would have said. It read "Borg given go-ahead for Church Road development". Shocking stuff. Is this the face of the new Wicklow? Is the "Garden of Ireland" to become a launch pad to the assimilation of all mankind. Well no, its a redeveloping of an old fish factory, or so they'd have you believe. You have been warned.