Please send any questions to mad_pauly@yahoo.com and they will be forwarded on to Lord Lucan at his secret location.

FAQ's

Around thirty years ago Lord Lucan bludgeoned a humble servant to death with sandwich maker and then proceeded to "fly the coop" of his Luxurious manor and has ne'er been seen since…UNTIL NOW! He has agreed to answer all the questions you have on our site and anything else you desire. Although a bit senile after years on the run he's become a wise old sage and should be able to give you the answers you seek.

"Whats wrong with you people?"
Well whats wrong with all of us is the question we should be asking each other. Tis a fickle world we live in and who knows really what tis all about.

"You disgust me, you sick F*!%s."
First of all that's not a question my dear. Second of all… tis a weak heart that bears no pigment of totalitarian reality of which your inverted hate should be addressed by the means of a good and reliable source of dementia healership. I find it questionable that we as you said "disgust" you maybe you yourself is what of tis discusted of. Maybe now and then we should all really just give ourselves a hug.

"Why is that monkey called that?, and why are you so brilliant."
Well to deal with you initial question Ian the MONKEY was granted that name due to the fact and (you'll never believe it ) that he looks remarkably like a simian of some kind. Oh and to do with the small matter that he was once caught licking the brown eye of a chimp in Dublin zoo and escaped prosecution on the ground of deviancy. The deviancy law was a through back of Cromwellian times that twas never truly removed from the Irish constitution. It was based on the belief that a man of the Land could freely molest any animal alien from Irish soil. As you can imagine the Jersey chicken was a favourite of the Irish people of the time. As with myself these little Irish folk like a feisty ride and believe you me it its finger licking good. Ian the monkey has now reformed and has turned to Art as an outlet of this his A-hole obsession

On the following statement, my exemplary state of brilliantness is due to my knowledge of good things and living the real deal life of a man of which could be said to be brilliant. A wiser man than you once said this upon me and this I believe as he told it to me.

"What is your view on the contemptous outlook of American pollitions on Islamic states?"
Well during my stint as Over-Lord of India I once conversed with the Egyptian inhabitants at the time and found that if I sold three Wiley mountain goats, one could get a Rhackmamama tent. This was what was the only known prophylactic at the time and was used on many a young Mongol maiden. Made from the intestines of local children you can come to understand the enormous cost.
The Equation:

x 3 =

+ +=

+ + =

Its really quite simple.Its all about the equation.

Please send any questions to mad_pauly@yahoo.com and they will be forwarded on to Lord Lucan at his secret location.