Selected Works Of Terry Jones

Rhyme Of The Crippled Goblin
By Terry Jones

Gerry woke up that fine summer morn,
to find out the elves had nicked all his porn,
he went to have breakfast but his flakes had no corn,
his head was cold, bald, his locks they had shorn.
He said "Where in the name of Bollix is me hair?,
I was hairy last night, now me head is all bare,
I've looked in the mirror and me hair's not there,
I'll bet those fucking elves are behind my despair".
From behind the kitchen windows leapt Danny the troll,
he held aloft Gerrys porn, which the night before he stole,
he said "Look at the jugs on this one! I'm as stiff as a pole,
by the way, have you got crabs, there's all sorts of stuff coming out of me hole?!?!?!"

Gerry let out a roar and he limped to the door
he dropped his bowl of cereal, and the juice he was about to pour,
the foodstuffs exploded all over the floor,
Gerry began to regret dismembering the whore
If she was here she could clean up the crap,
she could chase after the troll and get his porn back,
everyone knew she was a demon in the sack,
now her severed torso lay in bits in a sack.

So back to his bedroom, Gerry started hobblin'
Not only a serial killer, he was also a crippled goblin.

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