Selected Works Of Terry Jones

The Frustrated Troll
By Terry Jones

You'll taste his fist on your lips,
if you try to cross his bridge,
without paying the toll to the troll.
He'll kick you and scratch you,
he'll try to detach
your head from your neck when he jumps from his hole, the troll.

His rage is immense,
since they burned down his tent,
and all he's got left is the pole, the troll.
He has fire in his eyes and ants in his pants,
If you try to cheat him, on your grave he shall dance,
He's out of control, the troll.

Now he lives under the bridge,
since his microwave blew up and it damaged his fridge,
bad food is no good for the soul of the troll,
bad food is not good for the soul.
He's killed one or two,
he's even been in prison, too,
he's out on parole, the troll.
Some say he's insane,
some say it's personal gain,
one penny to cross is the goal of the troll.

If he can't collect his due,
he'll be on welfare like me and you,
he doesn't want to be on the dole, the troll,
he would hate to be on the dole.
One time he stopped eight,
when he set up a gate,
the peasants said he was on a roll, the troll.

The gate was soon smashed,
and some locals got bashed,
and he slit the throat of a foal, the troll.
He once lit a fire,
a funeral pyre,
and fueled the flames with coal he stole, the troll.
These days he wakes early and stands at his post,
he stays there all day till the bridge must be closed,
It's consumed his life as a whole, the troll,
the greed has consumed his life as a whole.

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