Tobacconists (prostitue advert)
As featured in the Flying Circus TV Show - Episode 14 

The cast:

CUSTOMER 
Eric Idle 
SHOPKEEPER 
Terry Jones 

The sketch:

(Camera closes in on a small ad, which is one of many on the door of a small newsagent's shop. A shabby man is running an evil qe down the adverts, puzzling, looking fir something. He walks up to the counter. He has a reflex wink.) 
Customer: Good morning. 

Shopkeeper: Good morning, sir. Can I help you? 

Customer: Help me? Yeah, I'll say you can help me. 

Shopkeeper: Yes, sir? 

Customer: I come about your advert - 'Small white pussy cat for sale. Excellent condition'. 

Shopkeeper: Ah. You wish to buy it? 

Customer: That's right. Just for the hour. Only I aint gonna pay more'n a fiver cos it aint worth it. 

Shopkeeper: Well it's come from a very good home - it's house trained. 

Customer: (long think, goes to door, looks at ads again) Chest of drawers? Chest. Drawers. I'd like some chest of drawers please. 

Shopkeeper: Yes, sir. 

Customer: Does it go? 

Shopkeeper: Er, it's over there in the corner. (indicates a wooden chest of drawers) 

Customer: Oh. (goes to door, runs his finger down the list of adverts) Pram for sale. Any offers. I'd like a bit of pram please. 

Shopkeeper: Ah yes, sir. That's in good condition. 

Customer: Oh good, I like them in good condition, eh? Eh? 

Shopkeeper: Yes, here it is you see. (picks up pram) 

Customer: (looks, pauses, goes back to the door, runs finger again) Babysitter. No, it's a babysitter. Babysitter? 

Shopkeeper: Babysitter. 

Customer: Babysitter - I don't want a babysitter. Be a blood donor - that's it. I'd like to give some blood please, argh! (shopkeeper shakes head) Oh spit. Which one is it? (shopkeeper slips him a card from out of his pocket) Blond prostitute will indulge in any sexual activity for four quid a week. What does that mean?