Letter to Tech Support

Dear Sirs:
Last year, I upgraded Girlfriend 1 to Wife 1. I soon
noticed that the new program began unexpected
child processing, which took up a lot of space and
valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon
was included in the product brochure.
In addition, Wife 1 installs itself into all other
programs and launches during system initialization,
where it monitors all other system activity.
Applications such as Pokernight and Beerbash no
longer run; the system crashes whenever those
programs are opened. I cannot seem to purge Wife 1
from my system. I am thinking about going back to
Girlfriend 1, but un-install does not work on this
program. Can you help me?
Sincerely,
Confused Husband
_______________________________________
Dear Sir-
This is a very common problem that many men
complain about, but the confusion is mostly
due to a foundational misconception. Many men
upgrade from Girlfriend 1 to Wife 1 with the
idea that Wife 1 is merely a utilities &
entertainment program. Actually, Wife 1 is an
OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator
to run everything. It is impossible to un-install,
delete, or purge the program from the system once
installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 1
because Wife 1 is not designed to do this.
Some men have tried to install Girlfriend 2 or
Wife 2, but end up with more problems than
original system. Look in your manual under
"Warning: Alimony/ChildSupport." I recommend
you keep Wife 1 and just deal with the
situation. Having Wife 1 installed myself, I
might also suggest you read the entire section
regarding General Protection Faults (GPFs).
You must assume all responsibility for faults
and problems that might occur. The best course
of action is to push the apologize button, then
the reset button, as soon as lock-up occurs.
System will run smoothly as long as you take
the blame for all GPFs. Wife 1 is a great program
but is very high maintenance.
Sincerely,
Tech Support