Richard Nixon, Jimmy Carter, and Bill Clinton are on the titanic. When it starts to sink Carter yells, "Quick, save the women and children!" Nixon: "Screw the women and children" Clinton: "Do we have time?"
Dan Quayle, Newt Gingrich and and Bill Clinton get caught up in a tornado and transported to the Yellow Brick Road, where they make their way to the Wizard of Oz. The Wizard asks what each wants. "I want a brain," says Quayle. "I want a heart", says Gingrich. "Where's Dorothy ?" asks Clinton.
What's the similarity between Bill Clinton and a carpenter? One screw in the wrong place and the whole cabinet falls apart.
The National Opinion Bureau of the United States (NOBUS) has today published an opinion poll conducted amongst female staff in the White House on Friday. They were asked 'Would you ever sleep with the President?' Of the 97 replies, 2 reponded "yes", 4 "never" and the other 91 "never again."
What Does Bill Clinton Say To Hillary before Sex?
"Hi Honey, I'll Be Home In 20 Minutes"
What does Monica Lewinsky have on her resume?
"Sat on the Presidential Staff"
Clinton is sitting in the oval office when one of his aides comes rushing in... "Mr. President, Sir, what are we going to do about the abortion bill?" "Just pay it", says the President!
Why does Bill drink so much coffee and Coca-Cola?
He is required to "stay up" for many hours to satisfy the needs of his staff.
What is Clinton's new Secret Service Code Name? The Unibanger.
If Clinton gets impeached, it will actually be the first time a president was BLOWN out of the White House.
What did Arafat say to Clinton? "Sheep don't talk, my friend" Q : What's the difference between Clinton and a screwdriver?
A: A screwdriver turns in screws, Clinton screws interns!
Did you hear that Clinton has announced there is a new national bird? -the spread eagle
Q: Why does Hillary want to have sex with Bill every day at 5 am?
A: She wants to make sure that she is the first lady.
Q: What is Bill's definition of safe sex? A: When Hillary is out of town.
Q: What is the difference between Clinton and the Titanic? A: Only 200 women went down on the Titanic.
Q: Why is Clinton so interested in events in the Middle East? A: He thinks the Gaza Strip is a topless bar.
Gore and President Clinton are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $100 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy". Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $10 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy." Hilary tosses her perfectly hair-sprayed hair and says, "Of course, then I could throw one-hundred $1 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy." Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole Country happy."
A man on his way home from work at the Pentagon came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing's even moving." He noticed a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars so he rolled down his window and asked, "Excuse me, Officer, what's the hold up?" "The President just found out Starr delivered his report to the Congress and he's all depressed. He stopped his motorcade in the middle of the Freeway and he's threatening to douse himself in gasoline and set himself on fire. He says his family hates him and he doesn't have the $33.5 million he owes his lawyers. I'm walking around taking up a collection for him." "Oh really? How much have you collected so far?" "Oh about three hundred gallons high octain."