Why I Fired My Secretary

 

Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went in to breakfast knowing that my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday" and have a present for me. But she didn't even say "Good Morning" let alone say "happy birthday".

I thought to myself "well that's wives for you. The children will remember." The children came into breakfast and didn't say a word. And when I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent.

As I walked into my office, Janet, my secretary, said "Good Morning, Boss, Happy Birthday," and I felt a little better that someone had remembered. I worked until noon. About noon she knocked on my door and said "You know, its such a beautiful day and it is your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me". I said "Bye George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go."

We went to lunch. We didn't go where I normally go. We went out into the country to a little private place. We each had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way back to the office she said "You know, it's such a beautiful day and we do not need to go back to the office, do we? I said "No, I guess not." She said, "Let's go by my apartment and I will fix you another martini."

We went to her apartment, we enjoyed another martini and smoked a cigarette, and she said "Boss, if you don't mind, I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable", and I allowed her as I didn't mind at all.

She went into the bedroom and in six minutes she came out of the bedroom carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife and children. All were singing Happy Birthday.

And there I was with nothing on but my socks.