White House Intern Job Description

 

JOB TITLE: Intern, Female

Clinton Humor, Political Jokes, President, Zippergate, Lewinsky, Scandal, (pixel.gif - 0.04 K) Exempt (Y/N): Y, if you keep your mouth shut
DIVISION: US Government, Executive Branch.
DEPARTMENT: White House
SUPERVISOR: President
Approved by: President
Who’s your Daddy: Mr. President

SUMMARY:

    ESSENTIAL DUTIES AND RESP0NSIBILITIES include the following.
    Making Coffee for President. Bring coffee to President in low cut blouse.
    Smiling for the President.

    Other duties may be assigned for or by the President.

    QUALIFICATION REQUIREMENTS:

    To perform this job successfully, an individual must be able to perform each essential duty more than satisfactorily. The requirements listed below are representative of the knowledge, skill, and/or ability required.

    EDUCATION and/or EXPERIENCE:

    1) If cup size is over 38D, None
    2) If cup size is under 38D, Need not apply.
    3) Call-girls encouraged to apply.

    LANGUAGE SKILLS:

    None. The ability to whine like a puppy is a plus.

    MATHEMATICAL SKILLS:

    1, 2, 3, that’s ok for me.. I mean the President.

    REASONING ABILITY:

    Talking to the President is good.
    Talking about the President to anyone else is bad.

    PHYSICAL DEMADS:

    YES!
    While performing the duties of this job, the employee is regularly required to use hands to finger, handle, or feel objects, “tools”, or controls. Not too much controlling though. The employee frequently is required to sit and reach with hands and arms.
    The employee is more than occasionally required to stand; walk; lie; recline, and stoop, kneel, crouch, or crawl on the floor like a puppy.

    The employee must occasionally lift and/or move up to 2lbs. Specific vision abilities required by this job include very close vision, distance vision, peripheral vision, and really, really good depth perception.

    WORK ENVIRONMENT:

    Hostile. The work environment characteristics Described here are representative of those an employee encounters while performing the essential functions of this job.

    While performing the duties of this job, the employee is occasionally exposed to risk of electrical shock. Only after they talk.

    The noise level in the work environment quiet, let’s keep it that way.

    PAY:Usually not, however if EDUCATION and or EXPERINCE part 3 is fulfilled, than negotiated, pending items 1 and or 2.

    Compensation or hush money may also be available after termination, unless Executive Branch has been forced out of office, then we deny, deny, deny.