An Extract from my Radio Play

A Place in Between



SCENE 4 : INT : A WARD


Mr. Dunne :        ....and, after that, sure then we were into what was known as ‘The Emergency’.  Now, at about that time_

Denis:                (Weakly)  Mnnnnnnnnn oh my head.

Mr Dunne:        Ah, you’re back with us.  Good man.  I was telling you my life story to pass the time.

Denis:               What happened?

Mr Dunne:        Next?  Well_

Denis:               To me, what happened to me?

Mr. Dunne:       I’ll ring for Nursie.  (Distant bell)  She’ll be along.

Denis:              How did I get to hospital?

Mr Dunne:       Nursie will fill you in, no pun intended.  I hear your big day out was interrupted.

Denis:              Oh my God!  I have to get married.  Sean, where’s Sean, get me my clothes and Simone - poor Simone,                          she’ll have a fit.

SFX:    A curtain swishes as NURSIE enters

Nursie:           Good afternoon Denis, do we need a bedpan?

Denis:             I can’t speak for you but I most certainly do not.  May I speak to my best man?

Mr. Dunne:    Ah he’s coming back to himself all right.

Nursie:          Total rest and relaxation, that’s what you need.  You’ve had a serious cardio-vascular incident young man.

Denis:           A heart attack?

Nursie:         Cardiac Arrest, it says here.

Denis:          Really?  Must’ve been the cigar.

Nursie:       Well, it didn’t help.

Denis:        But will I be all right?

Nursie:      You’ll be fine.

Denis:        I mean, will I live?

Nursie:      As I say, you’ll be absolutely fine.  I just get some fresh water.  (exits)

Mr Dunne:    She’s a great little woman.

Denis:      Cardiac arrest.

Mr Dunne:    No joke.

Denis:           Still, a warning eh?  What are you in for?  Heart trouble too?

Mr Dunne:    In a manner of speaking, yes.

Denis:          Your heart.

Mr Dunne:   That's right.  A train ran over it.

Denis:         Oh.  (Beat)  Sorry??

Mr Dunne:    ‘Always used to nip across before the 6.45 came through.  Slipped on the tracks, couldn’t get up, bloody                       thing ran right over me.  Hurt like buggery.

NURSIE re-enters starchily, humming a nursing ditty.

Denis:         Could I have a word sister?

Nursie:       Mmmm hmm?

Denis:        (whispering)  The old man there tells me he was run over by a train.

Nursie:      (Laughs)  Our Mr Dunne does have a tendency to exaggerate.  Don’t you Cecil?

Mr. Dunne:    I do not... y’auld bat.

Nursie:      The train never actually ran over him, it just ‘threw’ him out of the way.

Denis:        I see.

Mr Dunne:    Right over me!

Nursie:      Nonetheless, instantaneous of course.

Mr Dunne:    Careful darling.

Denis:      Instantaneous?

Mr Dunne:    He hasn’t figured it out yet.

Denis:     Instantaneous?!

Mr Dunne:    I think maybe he has now though.

Denis:      Oh my Gosh!

Nursie:     I’m sorry, what with the train and all I thought you had been briefed.

Denis:      Am I....?

Mr Dunne:    As a doornail, old son.

Denis:    Dead?

Nursie:    It can take a little time... to sink in.  Would you like a glass of Lucozade?

Mr. Dunne:    Replaces lost energy.

Denis:      Dead.

Nursie:    Or a grape, we have some lovely grapes.

Denis:      Dead.  Oh Lord, am I ‘up’ or ‘down’?

Nursie:     I don’t quite_
-
Denis:        I mean, this ward I’m in, this place, does it um_ start with a ‘H’ or - ah start with a ‘H’, if you catch my drift.

Nursie:        No.

Mr Dunne:    He means is this heaven or hell?

Nursie:       Oh, I see, went around the bushes a bit with it, didn’t he?

Mr Dunne:    He surely did that.

Denis:    Oh God, It’s hell, isn’t it?.

Mr Dunne:    I don't think so.  I was in Mullingar once and it was much worse than this.

Nursie:    It’s neither dear.

Denis:    Neither.  Not Heaven, not Hell.  Then it’s Limbo.

Nursie:    Limbo is a dance with a big stick.  We just call this ‘a place in between’.

(c) Ken Armstrong


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