For those of you who follow the GAA...
Knowing that the situation in Afghanistan can be a little confusing, here is the quick guide to the main GAA players in more global terms.

USA = Kerry - Utterly Arrogant and motivated by greed.
If they suffer the slightest injustice the whole world hears about it. Leader sees himself as bit of a visionary, most see him as bit of a tyrant.

Al Qaeda = Meath - Thugs who like to take out opponents behind the play.
Capable of upsetting just about anyone. Leader is a paranoid nutter.

United Kingdom = Galway - Had moved forward having been stuck in the past for decades.
Have a leader who loves the sound of his own voice, full of rhetoric whilst ducking the important issues.

France = Sligo - Perennial bridesmaids. Have a huge armoury but heavily criticised in the past for misfiring. More likely to bore you to death than to be a real threat toanyone.

Pakistan = Kildare - Trying hard to be one of the big boys, but has upset a large percentage of it's supporter base
through its over involvement with foreigners. Could soon experience a revolt within its own ranks.

India = Down - A sleeping giant, not a contender at the moment but with a huge supporter base.
Likes to think it's opinion is worth plenty, yet is largely ignored by non-fans. Local derbies can be a bit fiery.

The Northern Alliance = Laois - An undisciplined rabble in need of sponsorship dollars.

Israel = Dublin - Rabid supporters tucked away everywhere and usually only become vocal when they start winning.
See themselves as the chosen but in reality suffer from an over inflated sense of self. Local transport can be a bit dodgy.

Palestine = Westmeath - A team currently going places, had been on the periphery for many years before the late 90s.
Not regarded as a big contender but has a strong and explosive youth policy.

Japan = Roscommon - No attack, last campaign of any note 1942.
Big player in the 1970s and 1980s, however struggling a bit these days.

Iraq = Limerick - Serious hardarses and strongminded who could be on the way back.
Opponents refer to see them out of the Championship.
Most of their neighbours hate them, they know it, and they don't care.

Russia = Cavan - Once a great superpower,
recently in decay. Have chosen some real muppets as leaders.

Uzbekistan = Derry - Stuck in the middle.
Has a bit of an ars*h*le as manager but light on ammunition.

Germany = Offaly - Tendency to self destruct.
A strong history but off the scene of late. Unfortunate uniforms.

Australia = Leitrim - Completely harmless.
Not a contender. Just in it to make up the numbers. Supporters are loyal but regularly embarrassed.

Egypt = Donegal - Had a crack at dominance and though the remnants are still there they hark back to the glory days.
A bit over defensive and vulnerable up the middle.

Please note that no country can be associated with Louth.
The closest thing was Lebanon but apparently even certain parts of war torn Beirut are bordering on pleasant.

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