|
(Me and God wrote this in my
journal) One thing that I thought about yesterday as I was working on the Web: Is that the only Spirituality thought I'm ever going to have? [ the letter to Bro. John OH] - I have had so many nice strokes from strangers about that item that I would like more of those strokes, but am not so sure that I should be trying to get them rather than just letting it happen. I could think about the incident reported in yesterday's Gospel about the miraculous release from prison of Peter.(Acts 12) In a sense, for me it felt a bit like my own release from the prison of my recent gloom. There was the same feeling of 'can this be really happening, and the finding that indeed it had. But what would TA say about the two incidents - are miracles beyond the understanding of these humanists? They would possibly say that the real miracle was that Peter had such an influence on the guards throughout the prison, that they conspired to let him free in this way, so that they would not lose face - after all, who could resist an 'angel of the Lord' To be able to exercise this kind of total influence over a whole prison staff would indeed be a miracle. And in one sense even more miraculous than shackles falling off, and doors opening of their own accord. That would be a very controversial item if I wrote on TA and the Bible - seeing that I know so little about both. Yet I come from a biblical tradition, and so this is something I do have to tackle on a personal level. I also have to look at my transactions with the Church in all its levels. All my ego-states can be involved - I can be in Adult to Adult when I discuss things and plan things, though very often, I choose to be Child to Parent in these situations. Part of this is from a strong sense of my own inadequacy and lack of knowledge and information, and part is a kind of cop-out, letting the clergy take all the responsibility while I play the poor Victim to their authority. Other times, I am in Nurturing Parent, very aware of the needs of other Church members, and of the whole of humanity. I have learned so much from You Lord about compassionate Parenting, about being able to say as any parent does over and over, 'they don't know what they are doing' Other times I am in Adaptive Child, doing what I am told, with or without questioning. Then again, I can be in Rebellious Child, determined to resist all efforts to tie me down. And at other times, I can be in Free Child, confident that I am really loved by You,Lord, that the words about You being 'constant in your affections for us' apply to me as well as to every person in the world - I go by the words of St Paul in Colossians 1: God decided to bring all things to himself. And that God looked at what he had made and saw that it was good- in other words we are all intrinsically good, but need to cooperate with Your gift of Salvation to get back to that state again. It really is quite a conundrum how we are to be Adult while at the same time being Parent in relation to each other, and Child in relation to You. I suppose, the spiritual call to holiness is the same as any TA call to maturity - it is a case of being Adult and in the Here and Now, while at the same time listening to the Parent and Child voices from my past and selecting in Adult which of these wisdoms is appropriate in the current situation. Being Adult involves living with the question-marks - there is no certainty other than the certainty that we are beloved and that whatever happens will be for our ultimate good, even though we do not understand it at the time, and may even regard it as 'bad'. This touches on the mystery of 'suffering' - the second big conundrum of life for everyone, not just for religious people. On the one hand, it is important to know the reality of it, and not to DISCOUNT its existance, as some of our Parental voices might suggest that we do. Pain is pain, and is to be relieved as much as possible through love of self, and love of others. Seeking pain for its own sake is crazy - and in fact I doubt if anyone consciously does this. But we all seek 'pain' when we play psychological Games. Religion and TA would be very much in accord when they talk about how to break up a Game - TA would say it is by giving the person strokes so that they have less need to get the negative 'pain strokes'; Religion would say 'give love' and what is love if it is not unconditional stroking. Finally, (because I do not have time to expound further) there is the matter of DECISION or CHOICE. My strong opinion is that LOVE IS A DECISION, and that the strokes that give that are easy to give - that come naturally, and that I give to people that I am compatible with, are of less value to me as self-strokes, than the ones that I find difficult, that I am aware of the decision to stroke this person, even though in my Child, I am seriously disinclined to do so, and may be hearing strong Parent messages about how 'they don't deserve it' and about 'wasting your sweetness on the desert air.' I suppose I am saying that positive strokes from the Adult, have a special quality, being based on the reality of the person's potential, and their intrinsic OKness, which is often not the case with strokes from Parent or Child. I think these are the kind of strokes that You give me, God, - You who only live in the here and now - which is the reverse of the theory of Art Greer who wrote the TA book: 'No Grown-ups in Heaven' - I must read it again, and see if there is some way I can tie his theory in with my own which is that GOD IS A GROWN-UP, AND THE MORE WE GROW UP, THE MORE WE BECOME LIKE HER/HIM. The fullness of being grown-up is the total integration of the three parts of the personality, giving full expression to each in appropriate circumstances. God, help me to make this happen. 07:42 30/06/97 Monday |
Write to me at Elizabeth Cleary
© Transactional Analysis in Ireland
Please feel free to copy and distribute our material for non-commercial purposes only.