T.A.I. NEWSNOTES

April / May 2000
 Vol. 6 No.4

BERNE QUOTE To make a lady, start with the grandmother, and to make a gentleman, start with the grandfather. (What do you say after you say Hello, p. 67)

EDITORIAL

CARPE DIEM – Seize the day

It was great that TAI had quite a respectable showing at Jean´s workshop, Killarney, April 1-2,2000.
All who attended enjoyed it very much. Jean is truly a wonder. She will be 75 this month, yet has the energy of a young woman.

She kept us busy throughout the two days, and we covered an amazing amount of material.
We did theory and we did practice to back it up.

As ever, Jean´s visuals were straight to the point, and this time she used overheads as well as posters, and artefacts.
One of my favourites, which I never tire of seeing, is her set of matreska dolls that she uses to show how the events of our childhood are still inside us when we grow up.
She said that if the ‘dolls inside´ are just rattling around gently, we can usually figure out for ourselves what we need. If they are banging furiously to get our attention, then maybe we need to consult a therapist.

Another part of the work she did was a continuum each for Structure and for Nurture behaviours. Using a highway with a verge and a ditch on either side, she showed us how if we get drawn off the road into inappropriate behaviour, we can get ourselves back on course, calling a tow-truck (therapist) for help if necessary.
It was a great week-end, not just Jean´s input, but the friendliness and camaraderie that we all struck up.

Hopefully, this will be the start of something new. We hope that those who missed out this time will join in the next event whenever it takes place.

AFFIRMATION You can celebrate the gifts you have received, and the gifts you have given. (© Jean Illsley Clarke)

TAI North

Contact Pat for future dates and time. (080-1-232 854-695).

TAI East -

We welcomed three new people at the March meeting. Thanks to Hazel for her hospitality and to Pat for getting the video going.

The topic was Life Positions and Rackets , and as always there was lively discussion about how to apply the theory to our own lives.

This is quite a difficult idea, so perhaps we will do some more work around this material.

FORTHCOMING MEETINGS/WORKSHOPS

Date/Time	Venue	Topic
April 2000	No Monthly Meeting
Saturday May 13 2000	Ringsend (+353-1-4511125)	Transactions (video etc)

TRANSACTIONS (including How to eat an Elephant)

“The unit of action in any social aggregation is called a transaction.” (1963:Berne SDOG p175)

I take this to mean that if you want to know what´s going on between people, you have to look at their transactions, in other words, what does A say/do towards B (stimulus); what does B say/do then (in response); and then what does A say/do.

To me this is the fascinating part of people-watching. Looking at and becoming aware of how other people manage their transactions is helping me become more aware of what I do myself, both constructively and otherwise.

The piece of information that I need to keep repeating to myself, is that I do have choices – there are other ways for me to respond when someone´s stimulus is an invitation to me to come at them from the ‘unreality´ of either my past Child ego-state, or from my borrowed Parent ego-state.

Yes, I do not always remember to do this, but when I do – Oh the satisfaction of ‘catching myself doing it right´!

That´s how we change, isn´t it – one transaction at a time.

Loads of strokes to all of you who are working at changing both your stimulus, and response patterns. Keep at it – that´s how we eat the elephant – one bite at a time.

NewsNotes Editor
Elizabeth Cleary
8 Seskin View Avenue
Tallaght, Dublin 24 Ireland

Write to Elizabeth Cleary

© Transactional Analysis in Ireland