T.A.I. NEWSNOTES

Oct. 1998 Vol. IV No. 10

EDITORIAL

DRIVER DOORS

What kind of driver are we talking about here?

Well, not a car-driver, nor a cattle drover, though in TA a DRIVER has quite a bit in common with both.

In TA, a DRIVER is an exaggerated behavioural style that ends up with the person feeling notOK.

The definition in TA Today (Stewart & Joines) says:

Driver: one of five distinctive behavioural sequences, played out over a time-period between half-a second, and a few seconds, which are the functional manifestations of negative counter-scripts.

I have recently become very interested in the topic of drivers after reading an article in the TAJ Jan. 1974.

In this article by Taibi Kahler and Hedges Capers, (p. 32) an image is used which hugely impresses me.

Our drivers are the DOORS by which we enter the CELLAR of our Script.

According to this article, a person must act from their driver behaviour in order to feel not OK.

What I have been doing is aiming to catch myself at that point of first feeling notOK (or even seeing someone else as notOK), and stopping to ask myself which of the driver doors have I gone through.

Am I determined to HURRY UP, or is it that I am TRYING HARD? Am I tormenting myself trying to BE PERFECT, or am I trying to PLEASE PEOPLE? Maybe I am BEING STRONG (and too proud to ask for the help I need)

Whichever of these is the way I have entered into my 'notOKness', the same door will lead me back out if I decide to change what I am doing.

According to Kahler and Hedges, we flit from OK to notOK second by second.

Looking at these drivers as I practice them is teaching me a lot about what I can do to help myself.

Eric Berne once asked us to consider what kind of 'show' we were part of.

I begin to think there is a hilarious comedy element to mine as I pop in and out of these doors.

I might even include sequences like this when I eventually 'get my own show on the road'

SEAFA AFFIRMATION:

You can think before you say yes or no and learn from your mistakes.

BERNE QUOTE:

If somebody has a group meeting and everybody laughs for a whole hour then the therapists go out looking very gloomy and say: "Nobody expressed any feeling. That was a bad group meeting (TAJ Vol1.1 1971 Away from a Theory ..)

TAI North

TA101

Rory Truell PTSTA is offering a TA101 and TA Training

To register Phone: 0801-693-64547 (from the South), 01693-64547 (from the North.) E-mail: rory.jane@ibm.net

10 are needed, 3 have enrolled so far.

***

Here's your chance - take it while it's going

IMAGINARY CONVERSATION between Elizabeth and Any TAI person who hasn't done the TA101 (or who has done it before, and would like to refresh their knowledge)

E: Rory is doing the TA101, isn't that great!

X (anyone): What's so great about it?

E: Well, he's right on our doorstep - and he's putting it right in our laps.

X: I still don't see what's so great about it.

E: It's an opportunity that may not come again for quite a while.

X: So?!

E: I must have been mistaken.

X: What do you mean?

E I thought people wanted to do the TA101. I thought it was finance was preventing them. I thought it was because we couldn't afford to bring in a trainer from the UK that people couldn't go.

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe they don't really want to hear more about TA. Maybe I'm in some kind of game!

X: What kind of game?

E: Well, I'm feeling bad because I want people to know more TA (and I want them to up the membership units so that TAI can join EATA)

And I sense that other people don't feel very OK either.

X: I see what you mean. Maybe I'm in a game too. I really want to do this TA101, but why am I not making it possible for myself?

E: It sure is odd!

TAI East

New Meeting Place

We had our September meeting at our new meeting place in Inchicore (see below)

Since this was the first meeting since the AGM in June, there was some business to attend to. Hazel who is the Financial Controller agreed to act as treasurer for TAI East also.

Since there will only be very small sums of money involved, it was agreed to wait before deciding to open a new bank account and to record transactions in a cash account instead.

Elizabeth gave an overview of her trip to Zurich - she has notes on the fourteen events she attended if anyone is interested in seeing them.

Next meeting is October 17 (third Saturday)

FORTHCOMING MEETINGS

 Meetings are free of charge, but donations towards costs are appreciated.

VENUES:

Carrickfergus: Mediation Centre, 6 Cheston St. (opposite Carrickfergus castle)

Phone 0801-232 854-695

Dublin: 207 Emmet Road, Inchicore, Dublin 8. Contact 4511125 for details.

 Send a Stamped Addressed Envelope for further information or membership application to

TAI c/o 8 Seskin View Avenue, Tallaght,

Dublin 24, Ireland, or Phone +353-1-4511125

Write to Elizabeth Cleary

© Transactional Analysis in Ireland