I suppose it was a gradual decline that led (Richey) to seeking treatment, but when he was at home he seemed reasonably happy and it was only later that we realised there was something wrong. Graham Edwards, Richey's father When Richey's car was found on the Severn bridge we had to think... no so much about splitting up, but simply the prospect of everything being so dreadful. We were just frozen in disbelief. That's the closest we came without it being a literal 'splitting up' situation. There was no policy meeting, the only policy was to immediately cancel the US tour on the spot. It would have been pretty bad if Richey's body had been found while we were on tour. Nicky (1996) In the end Richey is one of those people who will always do the opposite of what you tell him. James Up until Richey's car was found I thought there was a good chance he'd turn up. After that I thought either he was dead or he wouldn't turn up for a long long time. I was in Wales when he went missing, so I rushed down to the flat and waited for him and he had been there by all accounts, because he dropped something off. But he never came. We started phoning hotels, asked every one in the country whether they had a Richey Edwards staying. And we found one in Swansea and thought we'd got him. I was just about to go down and it turned out to be just some businessman. After the car was found we thought, whatever he'd done, he wants to do it. If he's happy, good luck to him. Nicky (1996) If you have a body, you can let it flood out. Anger and grief. But we were just... suspended. Although the hope is still there, so is the dread. If I get a phone call and it's the wrong number, or the person just puts the phone down, it can ruin your week. Nicky (1996) There was the possibility that Richey just didn't like us any more. That was a real blow, and that was the only time I wish he'd left some kind of note saying, 'Boy's, it's for the best. But I still love you'. The fact that he just disappeared is very upsetting, and I know that's selfish. Nicky (1996) I wonder whether Richey felt he had to justify himself. The lyrics on The Holy Bible were so harrowing that a lot of the press would say, 'How can you justify these records unless you top yourself afterwards?' Nicky (1996) I wanted to go to Australia after Richey disappeared, but I ended up in Torquay for three days. Rock 'n' roll, eh? Nicky (1996)

For all we know he could have gone insane. The morning he left, for all we know, he could have gone mad. Nicky (1996) I'm superstitious and it did feel like a very scary, self-fulfilling prophecy. We made our own beds and we were always in love with rock myths. I mean, I still love Joy Division more than New Order. James (1996) I was adrift. Suddenly the focus of my life for the past six years was gone. I'd get up, make some tea, walk around, go out, get pissed with my mates and then do it all over again. James (1996) It was in the last six months that he really deteriorated. I could feel something was wrong. He'd call me late at night and talk about Apocalypse Now or Naked for two hours, trying to get some sort of idea across, and he just couldn't. Nicky (1995) If Richey doesn't want to come back, then that's fine. But we just want him to give us a call or send us a postcard. Nicky (1995) Rachel (Richey's sister) wrote to every monastery she could think of, and they wrote back saying they couldn't say. So he could easily just be living a quiet life somewhere. Nicky (1995) Everyone feels sorry for us right now. I think it might be a honeymoon period. I feel sorry that it took Richey to go missing before some people would accept us. Nicky (1996) Doctors keep saying, 'you've got to accept it, he's dead'. But I don't think anybody can accept someone's dead without a body. Nicky (1997) Deep down it's my gut feeling that he's alive. But that's not based on any logical evidence. I just try to tell myself that he'd done what he wanted to do. Nicky (1996) When you're young you're bored and pissed off. Life seems futile. It does to us, even now. Richey There are two very obvious things which have befallen us this year which have made me very aware of how things can be snatched away from you. I'm getting a bit weary of the arbitrary nature of life. I can't help thinking, 'Richey, if you could just have held on a little longer, things might have been a lot different. Maybe then you could have had all the things you wanted. You might have been happy. James (1996)