17th October 2001
Appointing Olive Braiden as the Chairperson of the soon to be established Crisis Pregnancy Agency was a good move by the Government. I have known Olive for years as the Director of the Rape Crisis Centre. She has integrity and is independent, is nobody's fool and is a realist into the bargain. As the President of Cherish, the organisation set up nearly 30 years ago by single mothers initially for single mothers but now for lone parents, I look forward to working with her.
What could be described as a sequel to the study on Crisis Pregnancy carried out by T.C.D. sociologist, Evelyn Mahon and her co-workers, has been published by the National Economic and Social Forum on Lone Parents but I have seen little comment in the media on it. This is a pity because it is well worth reading. Indeed now that we are about to enter yet another abortion debate this report is of great importance because it is about what happens when the crisis pregnancy is over and the baby arrives.
Most of the Report concentrates on the mother as the lone parent but I was really interested in the chapter on the non-resident father, a person on whom to date there has not been much information.
It is the Government's stated policy to support the family no matter what its structure while recognising that in general it is better for the child to have two parents rather than one. Most of the debate, however, has been on the economic implications of the child being reared in a one parent family, usually that means with the mother but this report investigates the relational aspect as well.
Where the child has been born of a marriage or a long term relationship the fathers will have established a relationship with the child or, indeed, children and the difficulties of the adversarial situation in the courts regarding custody and access are explored. It is to be hoped that the new Family Mediation Service will put time, money and energy into addressing the legal and constitutional issues which are highlighted by people who addressed the Forum because their misery is acute and their needs great and these should be addressed so that the next cohort of children who come before the courts are dealt with as well as possible.
Baldly, the report states that those young men who had had little relationship with their child's mother appeared to have a high degree of sexual promiscuity characterised by transient relationships and one-night stands. On the subject of taking responsibility for sexual activity, most of the young men felt that taking precautions was a matter for the young woman! Well, Olive Braiden and her Agency will be needed here, obviously.
Another interesting observation was that "Most non-resident fathers are not drug users but most drug users are men (around 70%) and most of them (around 75%) are lone fathers. Most non-resident fathers are not in prison but amongst all prisoners are disadvantaged men and most of them (around 70%) are fathers of whom 60% have lost contact with their children. Most non resident fathers are not homeless but many homeless men are lone fathers," although their children are not with them. Really, it would make John Waters' articles on the plight of the lone father seem quite cheerful.
Particularly when unemployment was high I met young single mothers who felt that having a child had at least given them some status in life and the same appears to be the case with the young, single, unemployed father. While they did not see fatherhood as fundamentally changing their lives there was a good side because the young men were of the opinion that having a girlfriend and a child had "quietened them down" and gave them "a reason to better themselves". They were determined to stay out of trouble and out of prison for the sake of the child and it is pointed out that a British study of the same group of young fathers said that being a parent had "given me a reason to work hard for the future."
As it is I get letters on and off saying I am encouraging single motherhood so I won't write too much about the report's advanced views on cohabitation. This is a most important issue if we really do feel it is better for a child to have two parents on the premises. The report feels the cohabitation rules should be applied with the child's best interests at heart.
The difficulties of fathers, particularly marital fathers who have several children of different ages and only a short period of access each week, should be taken into account far more than it is at present. If the children range over a span of let us say ten years the younger ones may be quite keen to go to the cinema or the zoo but an adolescent boy or girl may badly need to have a private heart to heart with the father. The balancing of time in a few hours can be impossible. My congratulations to the Men's Centre in Ballymun which provides a room equipped with cooking facilities so that a father can cook a meal with his children during access time. Would that more such facilities were available at community level. Those sad outings of fathers and children to fast food outlets must be enough to destroy stomachs as well as relationships. Read this report. I have only dealt with one chapter. Congratulations to Maureen Gaffney, who chairs the Forum, and to her co-workers.
Senator Mary Henry, MD
