Jokes (before I start thes I never said they were going to be good!

1.Seven dwarfs went to bed feeling sleepy so Sleepy got out!

2. A farmer had three beautiful daughters and he was very protective of them. One day a circus came and some chaps were discussing whether they'd ask the farmers daughters, They decided that they would and the first when to the farmers door. the farmer came down asking "what Ya want"holding a shot gun. the chap said " My name is Lance can i go to the dance with Nance.the farmer asked the daughter and off they went. The next came up saying "My names Joe can i go to the show with Flo"The farmer agreed and off they went. The third went up saying " My names Tucker the farmer shot him dead! (i told ya it was crap)

3. A blind man went into a shop with his guide dog and started swinging the dog around his head, the assistant looked very puzzled and the blind man walked out and off he went into another shop and stated swinging the dog again, the manager came up to him and asked "you ok sir" the blind man replied "yes im just looking around"

4.How come barbie has no babies? Because Ken comes in a different box

5. How can you tell what clan a Scotsmans From? Put your hand up his kilt and if theres a quater pounder there then he's a McDonald!

1. Drink till he's cute!

2.He who walks with a limp runs with a hop!

3. A man who has a hole in his pocket feels cocky all day!

4. A man born with a shorter leg has a longer leg to compensate!

5. So many cats so few good recipes.(oh how true cats yuk)

6.A moment on the lips a lifetime on the hips!

7. You always find things in the last place you look 'cause when you find them you stop looking!

8 .I'm a women with P.M.S and a gun "did you say something"

9.When in doubt DON'T

10. The road to hell is paved with good intentions

11.Only when we have given up the struggle do we realise the battle is finally won.

12. The angel of peace sits on a silent gun!

13. If you wanna be somebody be yourself

14. If you cant be with the one you love, love the one your with.

15. The love in your heart wasn't put there to stay, love ain't love till you give it away.

16. I met you as a stranger , I left you as a friend until we meet in heaven our friendship will never end

17.Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me.

18. Keep ireland green , have sex with frogs.

19. Be yourself its the only person you can be!

20. Men you can't live with them and you cant shoot them!

21. Tinky winky is gay, dipsy is tipsy the alcholic, po is slow the dislexic one and laalaa is just plain stupid for having a stupid name!

22. To live is to die, to die is to live.

23. True friends are like pearls , precious and rare. False friends are like dead leaves found everywhere.

24. Im going to buy a floppy disk and save the world!

25. A possitive anything is better than a negetive nothing!

26. A friend is something you always have.

27. Its the ones that proclaim there dullness, turn out to be more colourful than a rainbow!!

28. Together again, enter forever see where destiny takes us.

29. Popeye is gay and snoopy has fleas!!

30. Caution: Insanity is catching I gave it to my parents!

31. The road to love is long and sex is nothing but a road block.

Men Please read Rules before proceeding after women:

1. Please don't talk to my breasts , You wont be meeting them

2. If you want to control someone sleep with the remote control

3. I always choose chocolate over Men ALWAYS!

4. 51% love godess ,49% bitch

5. My sexual preference is No.

6. My body is a temple , now get down on your knees and pray.

7. Its not the size that counts, Its no wait size does matter

8. Remember you horny piece of shit! Girls are made of sugar and spice and all things nice.

9. Men are like hard wood floors , lay them right and you can walk all over them!

10. Save your breath for your inflatable date!

Some Of My Favourite Gifs....(for all your benefits rob away)