Philosophy On The Walls

The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
* Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot.
* Fred's Bar & Grill, Waco, Idaho

Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.
* Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

Beauty is only a light switch away.
* Perkins Library. Duke University. Durham, North Carolina.

I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.
* Houghton Library, Harvard University. Cambridge, Massachusetts.

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives.
* Armand's Pizza. Washington, D.C.

Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"
* Rest stop off Route 81. West Virginia.

God made pot.
Man made beer.
Who do you trust?
* The Irish Times. Washington, D.C.

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.
* Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill. Chapel Hill, North Carolina.



To do is to be. -Descartes
To be is to do. -Voltaire
Do be do be do. -Frank Sinatra
* Men's restroom, Greasewood Flats. Scottsdale, Arizona.

At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.
* Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, Arizona.

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
* Written in the dust on the back of a bus. Wickenburg, Arizona.

God is dead. -Nietzsche
Nietzsche is dead. -God
* The Tombs Restaurant. Washington, D.C.

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
* Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort. Dallas, Texas.

JESUS SAVES! But wouldn't it be better if he had invested?
* Men's restroom, American University. Washington, D.C.

If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress!
* Men's restroom, House of Representatives. Washington, D.C.

867-5309
* Men's restroom. Duke Nukem 3d, first scenario, first level.

Express Lane: Five beers or less
* Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's. Pheonix, AZ.

You're too good for him.
* Sign over mirror in Women's restroom, Ed Debevic's. Beverly Hills, CA.

No wonder you always go home alone.
* Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's. Beverly Hills, CA.