Just a few clips for a laugh

Turn  on Sound

This a standard Irish ( Manual ) Suicide Bomber.

You blow her up yourself


 

 

 

Now you know where


Photo taken outside the grotto in 1954 ( I think )

 

                                    B Nolan,N Tobin, Bid Molloy, Ella Purcell, Paddy Maher, Peter Mooney, W & S Ryan, W Kearney,

J Molloy, Denis Redmond , M.Bannon, Joe Pollard ,Toddy Redmond,

Martin Mooney, Ann Molloy, May Molloy,Josie Treacy P Bourke, T K.Dwyer,

Dan Tierney, Pat Ryan, Ned Gair, Col J Ryan, Mkl Shanahan, T Ryan Budge.

T Bourke , Andy Fogarty , N Flanagan, Ritchie Fleming, Ned Lamb, Tom Wright , John Molloy

Tim Ryan, Eamon Dwyer, Connie Ryan, Tully Moore, Liam Ryan Sweeper.

 

 

It's the best I can do at the moment

 

 


Bad Drivers

(August 31, 2002)

There’s a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, "Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!"

Herman says, "I know, I’m on Route 280 but there isn’t just one, there are hundreds!"

 

 


 

 

That's how the do it

 


 

 

Tipperary Star

 

 


 


 

Insurance Quotes

 

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.

I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

In an attempt to kill a fly I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

The pedestrian had no idea which way to run so I ran over him.

I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows

 Bannon

 


                                                                

 

 

 


The bush


 

 

Miss Piggie


 

Do u know him


 

 

The Littleton Bullfighter

( He always gets his Bull )


 

Your Ham is being ordered in good time


 

 


 

There's a rat in the trap

 


Would you work above


 

 

Don't waste your old files

put them to some use.

 


 

 

 

 

 


 

 

Spreading Slurry


 

 

Littleton General Hospital

 


 

 

 

 

 

Old Stamp ( Before Your Time )

 

 

Before u r time

 

Before u r time

 

 


 

 

 

 


 

 

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm.  Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Fikrning amzanig huh?                                                
            Bannon


 

The new Littleton Taxi Service

 


 

Actual Kids Test Answers

1. "When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire."

2. "H3O is hot water, and CO3 is cold water"

3. "To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube"

4. "When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide"

5. "Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state"

6. "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars."

7. "Blood flows down one leg and up the other."

8. "Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration."

9. "The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader."

10. "Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull."

11. "Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."

12. "A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."

13. "Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."

14. "The body consists of three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowls, of which there are five -- a, e, i, o, and u."

15. "The pistol of a flower is its only protections agenst insects."

16. "The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana."

17. "The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have ben taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to."

18. "A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors."

19. "The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in his fight."

20. "A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is."

21. "Many women belive that an alcoholic binge will have no ill effects on the unborn fetus, but that is a large misconception."

22. "Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa."

23. "Germinate: To become a naturalized German."

24. "Liter: A nest of young puppies."

25. "Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat."

26. "Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."

27. "Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky."

28. "Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot."

29. "Vacumm: A large, empty space where the pope lives."

30. "Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative."

31. "To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose."

32. "For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops."

33. "For drowning: Climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artifical perspiration."

34. "For fainting: Rub the person’s chest or, if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead or put the head between the knees of the nearest medical doctor."

35. "For dog bite: put the dog away for sevral days. If he has not recovered, then kill it."

36. "For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead."

37. "To prevent contraception: wear a condominium."

38. "For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose untill it drops in your throat."

39. "To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow." 

 


 

 

 

Training to be a Cannibal

 

 


 

 

 

Only The Dog Knows For Sure

 


 

 

 


 

 

 

Mind your mouse

 


 

 

 

 

 

Eat the new    Puppy Roll

 

 


 

 

 


 

 

Is there a Stork coming to your house soon

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

Do your wife always pull the clothes.

 

 


 

 

Out Hunting


 

 

 

All are happy  now


 

 


 


 

How many eyes has she


 

It pays to have good scaffolding


 

+

Training to be a Bullfighter

in Littleton


 

 

Don't put your finger up your nose


 

The modern lawnmower


 

 

 

Please obey the sign,

(If in doubt, mail me a picture for analysis)

 


 


 

 

 

 

 

This is a stick up

 


 

 

 

 


 

 


 

 


 

 

 


 

Always be safe in the workplace

 


 

Watch u r head


 

 

We're lucky here.


 

 

Did you ever know how Easter Eggs were made

 


 

 

 

And Rightly So


 

 


 

If A Look Could Kill


 

Rudolf doing a poo


 

 

The Skipper


 

 

Don't Hug when the sun shines or you'll melt

 


 

 

What a nice gesture for Xmas


 

Always wipe your arse before and after u use the toilet

 


 

The Littleton Flasher

 


 

 

 

 

 

        If u didn't get a laugh, mail me.

mailto:mrsbucket1@eircom.net

or

Try

http://www.esatclear.ie/~masonmech