Wojo and David
Good Ken is from the land o'cheese
The local cows, he know'th how to please
When he pulls out his prod
They throw him a wink, then a nod,
And it makes him all weak in the knees!
Singles bar, we find our friend Mikey
Picks up a girl who looks a bit dyke-y
Took her to bed like a fool
And then she pulled out her tool
And that verily messed up his psyche.
In auld Galway, there's a lad called Gump
Whose girlfriend says he's got naught but a stump
When he unzips to feed her
She says, "Were you bit by a skeeter?
I see there, you've got a wee lump!"
Me to David:
No wonder you can't find a job...
to read that would near make one sob...
get off of my back,
you useless hold hack
and go write about people who rob...
Wojo:
I don't think I can compete with an Irishman. <g>
Me to Wojo:
There once was a punk-ass named Wojo
who suddenly ran out of mojo.
he came over to me
to see if I'd be
willing to share, I said hell no
Wojo to me:
Old gumpy is proud of his brain.
He thinks there's no harm in his vain.
But what he don't know
And I'm willing to show
Is that he is about to be slain.
Me:
Wojo thinks he's gonna end this
He seems to think he just can't miss
He talks so tough now
But soon he'll see how
It's gonna be *my* ass he'll kiss.
Wojo:
The day that I kiss Lump's ass
I'll cut it off and be a lass.
Worried I'm not
For this boy is on pot
And can't even master the sass
David to Me:
Ah, rating on the number of syllables, I see...
All right, then -- 9-9-6-6-9 it is. (Heh. <----- 69.)
Little Davey was drinking his beer
A butch bloke asked "Hey, are you a queer?"
Dave said "hey, I'll show ya!
Got two pencence? I'll blow ya!"
And then started his brand-new career.
Me to David:
Poor Hendrix thinks only of queers
'cause they are his only peers
he's secretly gay
and that's just his way
of hiding it - with all of his jeers
Wojo to David:
O'er there lives a Hoosier named Dave
A good blow job is what he would crave
If not for the fact
That his sack had been racked
By the last guy this offer he gave.
Wojo:
I walked in this bar on Oak Street
It was all men that I'd rather not meet
When off in the corner I spy
David Hendrix french-kissing some guy
If it wasn't so gross it'd be sweet.
I moved my feet back toward the street
Knowing I'd need a fast retreat
David tried turning
But something was burning
His bitch had his teeth on his meat
OK, so it's far from true limerick style...but it's fun nonetheless.
<g>
David:
Oh, we're way off it now.
While retreating, young Wojo did find
Ten long fingers upon his behind.
He said "David's too straight,
He and I, 'tis not Fate!
But you, Ken, I surely won't mind."
So Kenny and he did become
Truest-blue friends, of the bum.
And then life was so sweet
Till Ken bit off his meat
And now he just sucks on his thumb.
Wojo:
This young friend of David's who touched me
Had to walk away holding his pee pee
Because I got the drop
I heard one of them pop
And now when Dave licks them it's creepy.
But Dave lives his life nonplussed
He still has his boyfriend to dust
To take out the trash
And handle the cash
But his balls always feel like they'll bust
So out to the gay bar he'll go
To look at replacing his ho
He'll look left and right
Every where in sight
But find no one he wants to blow.
David:
Seems Wojo has got me on trial.
I think *he* is the one in denial.
I've won every round,
His match, he has found.
His weak verse, up it does pile.
Trying to beat me at limrick'y,
With lots of his cheap, flashy gimmick'ry.
Still I've come out on top,
While his brains, they go pop,
And the best that he's done is just mimic'ry..
And his anger I don't understand.
After all -- I gave him my man!
But he bit him too hard,
The guy's eternally scarred,
Once again, Ken's stuck with his hand.
The moral of this tale, 'tis true:
"Sure, I'd not want to be you."
Making all of your ploys
Tryin'ta catch those young boys
And all you get is your balls colored blue.
Wojo:
I think with your rhymes you defeat me
However your flames get a C
You rhyme like a pro
Though often quite slow
Waiting for you makes me sleepy
Gump thinks he's beaten Wojo
Funny I find this you know
He is but a child
His flames are more mild
Than David's, which themselves have no flow
I'm in this because it's quite fun
To challenge the articulate one
Make him think lots
Still knowing he gots
To admit defeat when he knows that he's done
This friend that you had that grabbed me
Had a hickey on his neck I could see
I asked him "where from?"
He said "David's the one"
Who's mouth always gets quite freaky.
You claim to know the moral of this tale
But in fact your coherence does pale
To the truth of the thing
Which is what I bring
Enjoyment to what's otherwise stale.