I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!

I vote Libertarian, as the very thought of dope-smokin' gun-totin' wife-swappin' atheist Ayn-Rand-worshippers running the country gives me a warm feeling in the cockles of my heart.

The modern definition of Fascist is someone who is winning an argument with a liberal.
        - Peter Brimelow

There's no one more intolerant than a liberal in San Francisco.
        - Tim Goodman

As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.
        - Godwin's Law

If you're too stupid to understand that a philosophy that favors a federally structured republic, with numerous restraints on the scope and power of government to interfere with individual rights or the free market, is a lot different from an ethnic-nationalist, atheistic, and socialist program of genocide and international aggression, you should use this rule of thumb: If someone isn't advocating the murder of millions of people in gas chambers and a global Reich for the White Man you shouldn't assume he's a Nazi and you should know it's pretty damn evil to call him one.
        - Jonah Goldberg, author of Liberal Fascism, in "National Review"

Sarkozy's relying on Germany to add some muscle to his demands, but Merkel's support may be less than sincere. The Germans had a word for indirectly harnessing the economic power of business and industry to the service of the state, but that's a word that can't be used in modern Europe, unless you're ordering a copy of Jonah Goldberg's book.
        - Denis Boyles, "National Review", on the G20 summit in 2009

Today, the principal elements of fascism are most evident in Left-wing political movements: a belief in big government and high taxes, an array of laws to control the way people behave, CCTV cameras to watch citizens and databases to gather information about them. By this definition, Gordon Brown is a fascist. And while some might agree with that description, it is no more enlightening for those on the Right to start chucking the same insult back at the Left than it was when the jackboot was on the other foot.
        - Philip Johnston, "The Telegraph"

"I think you'll find Signor Mussolini's methods were slightly more drastic than asking people to leave."
        - Mary Whitehouse's response to being called a fascist

"Right-wing" used to mean Mussolini. Now, I’m afraid, it means merely... not socialist, or worse.
        - Jay Nordlinger

When people say “fascist,” all they mean is, “I sense you are right of center, and I hate you.” They don’t really mean “fascist”; they have no idea what the word means. One result is, when a real fascist appears, there’s no word left for him — which is a pity, if not a tragedy.
        - Jay Nordlinger

Increasing numbers of people seem to think that it is "name-calling" if you refer to someone as a liberal. There are no inherently negative connotations to the word "liberal." If it has acquired negative overtones, that is because of what liberals have done and the consequences that have followed.
        - Thomas Sowell

"White teenagers have received... in our public schools and colleges, not a 'liberal education', but an education by liberals. They have been taught very well indeed — taught that they and their ancestors and their traditions and their natural feelings are worthless and an obstacle to be overcome."
       - Kevin Alfred Strom

Liberals hold us individually responsible for nothing but collectively responsible for everything.
        - Anon

The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words, there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence, but government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911.
        - The National Review

Washington may not be a Christian city, but it sure has an appetite for crucifixitions.
        - Anon

The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock? Peace Corps volunteers? Or maybe the people in Texas were attacked because of abuse. But, if child abuse was the issue, why didn't Janet Reno tear-gas Woody Allen?

"I want my daughter to grow up around all those conservatives so she'll know how to rebel properly."
        - Muscian Don Henley, talking about moving to Texas with his family

For any young sons or nephews: a war toy. As my grandfather used to say: "Peace on earth and mercy mild, a commando set for every child." Giving war toys comes with an added advantage - the people it annoys, pacifists, parsons and 'responsible' physicians, all need, badly, and often, to be annoyed. Start with a classic GI Joe.
        - Andrew Stuttaford, "2004 Giving Guide", "National Review"

Hollywood studios will continue to reach out to religious America in their efforts to market movies about gay cowboys, the suffering of terrorists, and greedy corporations. Then when these movies fail at the box office, the studios will respond by blaming competition from videogames and DVDs.
Aliens from Mars will invade the Earth. Using their giant spider-legged attack vehicles, the invaders will lay waste to human civilization. President Bush will be named to head a hastily assembled International Council of Nations. He will begin a last-ditch effort to counterattack by launching nuclear warheads at Mars on Saturn V rockets. Rep. Nancy Pelosi will immediately condemn his plan as "unnecessary and irrational." Peace activists will march outside the charred remains of the White House, mourning the tragic loss of innocent Martian life. Michael Moore will release a documentary alleging links between Bush and the Martians. Then all the Martians get sick and die. The End. (I know, what a lame ending, but I couldn't come up with anything better.)
        - Warren Bell, predictions for 2006 from "National Review"

Scrooge has been called ungenerous. I say that's a bum rap. What could be more generous than keeping your lamps unlit and your plate unfilled, leaving more fuel for others to burn and more food for others to eat? Who is a more benevolent neighbor than the man who employs no servants, freeing them to wait on someone else?
        - Steven E. Landsburg, "What I Like About Scrooge", "MSN Slate"

Command-style economics is a little like steroids in athletics: You get a burst of rapid growth when the drugs first take hold, but after a while you realize that your national testicles are shrinking.
        - Glenn Reynolds, MSNBC

They say the Chinese use the same word for crisis as for opportunity? Yeah, well, they also use the same word for China as for Tibet — it's "China".
        - Dara O'Briain

"We'll always be secure in the knowledge that without the USA, you'd be the smallest fucking province in the Russian Empire."
        - Standard American insult to Brits

"My fellow Americans, I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes."

        - Sean O'Doherty, "The Irish Independent"

Economists state their GNP growth projections to the nearest tenth of a percentage point to prove they have a sense of humor.

Politics: A Science derived from two words: "poli" meaning many, and "tics" meaning small bloodsucking insects.
        - Chris Clayton

A reader suggests that members of Congress should wear uniforms, like NASCAR drivers, so that we will know who their corporate sponsors are. Many of those in Congress should also wear logos representing the teachers’ unions, environmentalist extremists and other special interests.
        - Thomas Sowell

"Get thee glass eyes and, like a scurvy politician, seem to see the things thou dost not."
        - from Shakespeare's "King Lear"

Compromise : What used to mean half a loaf is better than no bread, but among modern statesmen it seems to mean half a loaf is better than the whole loaf.

"Environmental activists don't use logic or reason."
        - The South Park gang flee the Earth Day Brainwashing Festival.

"America is our team, and if you don't want to root for the team, get the hell out of the stadium."
        - The South Park gang

"They had fangs. They were biting people. They had this look in their eyes, totally cold, animal. I think they were Young Republicans."
        - Andy, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"

A nice girl, she had never even seen a Democrat, except in police bulletins.
        - Clive James meets a Young Republican, "The Observer"

Studies show: Felons smarter than liberals.
        - Ann Coulter

"Fan of daytime TV? Why? No got job? Afraid of hard work?"
        - Banzai!

"Protecting criminals from people like you since 1920."
        - "The Half Hour News Hour", with a mock commericial for the American Civil Liberties Union

"A diverse group... of angry lesbians."
        - "The Half Hour News Hour", on a possible Hilary Clinton cabinet

Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, dude, at least it's an ethos.
        - Walter Sobchak, "The Big Lebowski"

It'll be a great day when the schools have all the money they need and the Pentagon has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber.
        - Seen as a bumper sticker

Be nice to America: Or we'll bring democracy to your country.
        - Seen as a bumper sticker

They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do Cubans want to come here?
        - Paul Harvey

If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you can read it in English, thank a soldier.
        - Bumper Sticker

It's a child not a choice.
Don't like the police? Next time you're in trouble, call a liberal.
        - Bumper Sticker Slogans

Only after many harsh battles are fought to ensure peace can the luxury of being a weenie be secured.
The military was always the only part of the federal government I didn't mind my tax money going to because they kill evil foreigners.
        - Quotes spotted on IMAO

Charles Hurt struck a chord that should resonate in the breast of every true conservative: "The reason Americans endure their federal government is that it is so inept and useless that it has little bearing on their everyday lives. But in an economic meltdown like this, people don't have a choice but to feel the fallout of their government's incompetence …"
Exactly. Washington, D.C., is populated by fools and rogues. The less power we give them, the better. Yet we keep on giving them more! Perhaps we are fools, too.
        - John Derbyshire, "National Review"

Fred Thompson once ended a filibuster by ripping out a senator’s heart and showing it to him before he died; Fred Thompson once stood on our south border and glared at Mexico. There was no illegal immigration for a month; Fred Thompson vows not only to win in Iraq but also to forcefully free Vietnam from Communism, thus giving America a perfect win/loss record for wars again; Fred Thompson has on multiple occasions pronounced 'nuclear' correctly.
They say that after a nuclear blast, the only things that will survive will be cockroaches and Fred Thompson... except that Fred Thompson doesn't like cockroaches. So the only thing that will survive will be Fred Thompson; Fred Thompson honors the fallen on Memorial Day by setting fire to hippies; Fred Thompson is a prime number.
        - Some Fred Thompson facts seen at IMAO.us

Wherever there is a jackboot stomping on a human face there will be a well-heeled Western liberal to explain that the face does, after all, enjoy free health care and 100 percent literacy.
The fact is that political stupidity is a special kind of stupidity, not well correlated with intelligence, or with other varieties of stupidity.
I do have some opinions that aren’t very respectable.
Is this any way for free people to live?
        - John Derbyshire, "National Review"

So, Barack Obama says he hopes to be “an instrument of God.” Great. So should we all. But if a conservative Republican had this said . . . oh, boy, would it have hit the fan. Theocracy! Constitution! Fascism!
        - Jay Nordlinger, "National Review"

Last week, we learned that John Edwards received $55,000 to give a speech, "Poverty, the Great Moral Issue Facing America", at the University of California, Davis. The poor students who attended were charged more than $17 a ticket.
        - Jonah Goldberg, "National Review"

Perhaps the gravest public threat endangering our youth, Manipulated Child Syndrome occurs whenever insubstantial claims of child endangerment are substituted for real political argument. Though MCS has gone largely untreated, the signs are readily visible. Every time you turn on the TV do you see sullen children, half-lit against austere backdrops, opining about the dangers of global warming, despite the fact they’re barely potty trained, let alone able to grasp the intricate dynamics of climate science?
...Somewhere right now, one out of every 10,000 children is auditioning for a public service announcement. This can be a harrowing experience... In younger children, treatment can be simple. Allowing them to play and have fun as they receive a competent education may be all that is needed for them to form their own political opinions at a more age-appropriate time. However, more draconian measures are needed for adolescents and teenagers suffering from MCS. The child in the Greenpeace ad who’s been brainwashed into thinking of adults as the enemy of the environment? Tragically, to the only cure for such an advanced case of this terrible affliction may be four years of military school.
        - Mark Hemingway, after the Democrats throw child after child on TV, "National Review"

Beggar, n : One who has relied on the assistance of his friends.

"I gather you’re interested in politics. Who’s the Home Secretary?"
"Look, I said I was interested, not obsessed."
        - A young Tom Stoppard, blustering his way through an interview for London's "Evening Standard"

I was speaking in London last week with a very, very distinguished historian — knows more than I ever would in five lifetimes. He says to me, "I don’t understand your country, how religious it is. How can it be so religious? I myself am an atheist. I mean, think of the Founders — Jefferson and so on. They wanted separation of church and state, and here you have a born-again Christian in the White House!" What do you say to something like that? That we live in a democracy, and cast votes? That even born-again Christians can stand for office? That the Founders wanted to protect religion from the state, not the state from religion? That it is Britain, actually, that combines church and state?
        - Jay Nordlinder, "National Review"

In the Reagan years, Casper Weinberger was invited to debate Marxist professor E. P. Thompson at the Oxford Union. The question before the house was, “Is there a moral difference between U.S. foreign policy and Soviet foreign policy?” The two men had been instructed to wear black tie, and Weinberger, of course, complied. Thompson did not — he was wearing the relaxed clothing of a professor. According to Weinberger, Thompson said that "he had never believed in black tie, that it was just a mark of class distinction." Cap’s reply? "On the contrary: My father used to say that black tie was the most democratic of all costumes, because everybody wore exactly the same thing."
        - Jay Nordlinger, "National Review"

I don’t know if you know this, but the New York Philharmonic is seriously considering going to North Korea to perform. I’m hoping that they’ll drop by Sudan and Burma, too. Maybe Iran, Syria — Cuba. Too bad the Khmer Rouge isn’t still in power — Phnom Penh would be a lovely place for a concert. And the sounds of the orchestra would drown out the cries of the tortured and murdered.
        - Jay Nordlinger, "National Review"

"When Franco fell ill in 1975, we were in a race to the death. Either he died of Parkinson’s disease or we died of scurvy."
        - Nick Cohen, recalling his mother's political boycott of oranges, "What's Left?"

"Michael Bates was slightly to the right of Margaret Thatcher, and Bill Owen was slightly to the left of Lenin. Within minutes they were shouting at each other."
        - Peter Sallis, recalling a bust-up on the set of "Last Of the Summer Wine"

From 1982-89, Michael J Fox played Alex P. Keaton, a briefcase-wielding teenage Republican, on Family Ties, a popular NBC sitcom. As Alex, Fox was rakishly clean-cut—strange as that may sound—and he made conservatism seem at once upstanding and rebellious. Whatever edge the fairly conventional show had came from the conflict between Alex and his ex-hippie parents, Steven and Elyse, and their two (much less interesting) daughters: Mallory, ditzy and boy-crazed, and Jennifer, a tomboy...
Ronald Reagan said Family Ties was his favorite show and reportedly offered to appear in an episode. Even today, young Republicans cite Fox's character as an early role model. When California Democratic Rep. Henry Waxman's 25-year-old opponent in the last election was asked why he joined the Republican Party, he explained: "It started with Michael J. Fox on Family Ties." And Tucker Carlson has built an entire career by channeling the character. How did this happen? Partly, no doubt, it was the sheer absence, before Family Ties, of explicitly conservative young people on network television. And much of the credit must go to Fox himself, whose specialty as an actor was playing the smug, arrogant brat that you like in spite of yourself (see also Back to the Future, The Secret of My Success, The Hard Way, etc.). It seems unlikely that, say, Andrew McCarthy could have exuded such likable sincerity while explaining that "God wants me" to "make a lot of money … because if he didn't, he wouldn't have made me so smart," as Alex tells that off-screen psychologist after his friend has died. (Even Matthew Broderick, the producers' original choice for the role, might not have pulled this off.)
        - David Haglund, as Family Ties is re-issued on DVD, "Slate Magazine"

We are in Windsor, Ontario, Canada. Windsor is located just across the river from the big bad city of Detroit. I actually grew up in Windsor but moved away in 1980 and recently have returned. Windsor, the last time I checked is still a part of Canada, as they tell us, the best country in the world. Its a social utopia where no one can get rich since our wonderful prime minister keeps our money and takes care of it for us. The attainment of the “American Dream” is seriously forbidden and a punishable offense in Canada, where bilingualism, multiculturalism, political correctism and few other “isms” rule the land. Canada is ruled by an army of unionized and highly paid civil servants who are unproductive leaches on the taxpayer. 43% of the Canadian population seems to work for the Government in some form or another. Most of the rest of the people are on welfare, which is basically the same thing. Capitalists are heavily persecuted for any success they may achieve. The religion here is socialism and liberalism, which Canadians defend with a passion. Socialism is just about the only thing a Canadian will ever become passionate about. So if you are a Democrat in the USA, you are in the wrong country, Canada is your dream state.
        - Seen on the Zachary Music website

What you're talking about is assassination, which is a serious violation of international rules. On the other hand, it is perfetly OK to drop large quantities of bombs on a foreign country, as long as you are not specifically trying to drop one on the foreign leader, which would of course under the rules would be assassination. (These rules are made by lawyers.) The rules also state that, when you drop your bombs, you are supposed to try to gain a Consensus of World Opinion, which is legally defined as 'at least four nations that know how to make a decent car, plus, if he is not off somewhere building a house, Jimmy Carter.'
        - Dave Barry

In every country the Communists have taken over, the first thing they do is outlaw cockfighting.

Like the People's Republic of China, the Democratic Republic of the Congo, the Lao People's Democratic Republic, and don't forget former East Germany—the German Democratic Republic. Why is it that the least democratic countries always brandish democratic-sounding names?
        - Juliet Lapidos, "Slate"

Andrew Sullivan recently unleashed upon the earth an essay about conservatives of faith and conservatives of doubt. He normally calls faith-cons theocons (especially if they oppose gay marriage) but, to date, he hasn’t called the other camp the skepti-cons, perhaps because that sounds too much like a new camp of villains among the Transformers. And of course there are the more traditional factions in the Great Hall of the Right (I imagine a crowd of generals and aides-de-camp in different uniforms crowded around a giant map of liberalism barking at each other over strategy): libertarians, Burkeans, Hayekians, and so on.
        - Jonah Golbderg, "National Review"

A college student writes asking what he should read — “I am in search of a canon of sorts,” he says. Well, that’s a very big question. But I would read books by Paul Johnson, David Pryce-Jones, Robert Conquest, Norman Podhoretz, Thomas Sowell — Bill Buckley, of course. It pretty much doesn’t matter what you pick up — what books in particular. Just pick them up, and soak them in. Does it matter whether you read Johnson’s history of the Jews, or his history of Christianity, or his biography of Napoleon? Not really. Read them all, eventually — just begin. Does it matter whether you read Pryce-Jones on the Hungarian Revolution, or on Paris under the Nazis, or on the collapse of the Soviet Union — or even one of his novels? Not really. Just wade in. A professor I admired said something memorable about a professor of his: that this old gent had given him “what I can only describe as a cast of mind.” That is something the above authors — distinct as they are, one from the others — might do for you.
        - Jay Nordlinger, "National Review"

Well, there's... Free speech and there's gun control and lousy Democrats.
The media's too liberal and everyone's too fat.
Women have careers and form opinions of their own. We let our wives control our lives.
(Damn, it's good to be home!)
Oh, life's not always great in these United States,
But remember, boys and girls, it's not the worst place in the world!
        - The gang return home from Saudi Arabia, "American Dad"

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to blow away anyone whose patriotism may be suspect , shall not be infringed.

# THE UNABOMBER ON THE LEFT

"Leftists tend to hate anything that has an image of being strong, good and successful. They hate America, they hate Western civilization, they hate white males, they hate rationality. The reasons that leftists give for hating the West, etc. clearly do not correspond with their real motives. They SAY they hate the West because it is warlike, imperialistic, sexist, ethnocentric and so forth, but where these same faults appear in socialist countries or in primitive cultures, the leftist finds excuses for them, or at best he GRUDGINGLY admits that they exist; whereas he ENTHUSIASTICALLY points out (and often greatly exaggerates) these faults where they appear in Western civilization. Thus it is clear that these faults are not the leftist's real motive for hating America and the West. He hates America and the West because they are strong and successful." I hate to say it, but that murderous nutcase was onto something, wasn't he?

        - From AndrewSullivan.Com

# IF KNOW YOU'RE LIBERAL IF....

You pale at the execution of child killers, but defend the killing of unborn children as an expression of choice.

You think trees have feelings, animals can conceptualize and the fetus is a blob of protoplasm.

You are convinced that Frank Capra films and Norman Rockwell paintings are lies and distortions but "Platoon," "Dances with Wolves" and "Thelma and Louise" are realistic

You think a moment of silent prayer at the beginning of the school day constitutes government indoctrination and an intrusion on parental authority, while sex education, condom distribution and multiculturalism are values-neutral.

You think marriage is obsolete - except for homosexuals.

You believe homosexuality is genetically determined, but fascism and spouse abuse aren't.

You think AIDS is spread by insufficient funding.

You consider the Catholic bishops noble and idealistic when they oppose capital punishment and welfare cuts but dangerous fanatics trying to legislate their theology when they defend the right to life.

You are convinced that proponents of welfare reform hate the poor and opponents of affirmative action hate minorities, but AIDS activists who bash the Pope and People for the American Way types who go psycho over Protestant "fundamentalists" are guardians of democracy.

You attribute every minority problem to entrenched, institutional racism and the legacies of slavery and segregation.

You think the black middle class is a myth created by Newt Gingrich.

You don't understand all of the whining about affirmative action and are more than willing to sacrifice someone else's employment or education opportunity to assuage your guilt.

You marched against American involvement in Vietnam, thought the Gulf war was unnecessary but believe 25,000 U.S. troops in Bosnia are vital to our national interests.

You see no correlation between welfare and the rise of illegitimacy, judicial leniency and surging crime rates, or addiction and an entertainment industry that glorifies drug abuse. But you believe Richard Nixon is responsible for everything horrible that's happened in the past quarter-century.

You think those child-abusing, religious fanatics at Waco had it coming but the illegal immigrants roughed up by California deputies - after leading them on a high-speed chase - are the victims of the decade.

Lastly, you're a liberal if - you don't get the point of this damn list!

# AN OBITUARY

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
Why the early bird gets the worm;
Life isn't always fair;
and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 -year- old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Tylenol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

#

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