I've hired you to help me start a war. It's a prestigious line of work, with a long and glorious tradition.
Vizzini: HE DIDN'T
Inigo: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. [pause] My God! He's climbing!
Inigo: You seem a decent
fellow. I hate to kill you.
Dread Pirate Roberts: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.
Inigo: Who are you?
Dread Pirate Roberts: No one of consequence.
Fezzik: We face each
other as God intended...sportmanlike. No tricks, no weapons, skill against
Dread Pirate Roberts:You mean, you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword and we'll try and kill each other like civilized people?
Count Rugen: Could
this be a trap?
Humperdinck: I always think everything could be a trap...which is why I'm still alive.
Vizzini: There's nothing to explain. You're trying to kidnap what I have rightfully stolen.
The Dread Pirate [R]oberts & [V]izzini have a battle of wits to decide whoh shall win the Princess, based on the old posioned goblet trick...
R: All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right...and who is dead.
V: But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
R:You've made your decision then?
V: Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
R:Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
V: Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
R: You're just stalling now.
V: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
R: You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work.
V: IT HAS WORKED! YOU'VE GIVEN EVERYTHING AWAY! I KNOW WHERE THE POISON IS!
R: Then make your choice.
V: I will, and I choose-- What in the world can that be?
[Vizzini gestures up and away from the table. Roberts looks. Vizzini swaps the goblets]
R: What? Where? I don't see anything.
V: Well, I- I could have sworn I saw something. No matter.First, let's drink. Me from my glass, and you from yours. < they drink >
R: You guessed wrong.
V: You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! Ha ha ha--
[Vizzini stops suddenly, and falls dead to the right]
P: And to think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned.
R: They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder.
"A farm boy. Poor.
Poor and perfect. With eyes like the sea after a storm. On the high seas,
your ship attacked. And the dread pirate Roberts never takes prisoners."
"I can't afford to make exceptions. I mean once word leaks out that a pirate has gone soft, people begin to disobey you and it's nothing but work, work, work all the time."
"You mock my pain!"
"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."
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