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Earth, not space, is the final frontier of Battlestar Galactica.
        - Alessandra Stanley, "New York Times"

"I have my flaws too."
"The difference is my flaws are personal. Yours are professional."
        - Lt. Kara Thrace aka Starbuck and Colonel Tigh

"What do you hear, Starbuck?"
"Nothing but the rain, sir."
        - Adama and Starbuck, after she takes out some Cylons

"Give me your eyes."
        - Commander Adama, getting the flight crew's attention

"There are no reserve Vipers, everything is on the board already. Now we play for all the marbles."
        - Commander Adama, watching a high risk Starbuck plan unfold

"Lee, if you want to ask me to dance, just ask... me in a dress is a once in a lifetime opportunity."
        - Lt. Kara Thrace (Starbuck) to Captain Lee Adama (Apollo)

"You can't help her Gaius, but you could probably sleep with her."
        - Number Six to Baltar, about Boomer

"Life has a melody, Gaius. A rhythm of notes that become your existence once played in harmony with God's plan."
        - Number Six to Baltar

"There is no Earth, you do know that?"
"It seems that we were wrong."
        - Commander Adama and President Roslin

"Remember, just head away from the sound of gunfire."
"What about you?"
"We're heading towards the gunfire."
        - Apollo and Roslin

"Sharon said they had troops picking up the bodies. Transporting them to mass incinerators."
"Your girlfriend's from a lovely family. Good people, great values."
        - Helo and Starbuck

"You sided with that woman against the Old Man. You're not fit to wear the uniform."
"You're right... I am not fit to wear the uniform. Maybe I never was. Then again, neither are you. This isn't my ship. And it sure as hell isn't yours. It's his. And when he wakes up, he'll decide what to do with the both of us."
        - Apollo to Tigh, beside Adama's bedside

"I just don’t respond to ‘Doc.’ A dock is a platform for loading and unloading material. My title is doctor or Mr. Vice President."
        - Baltar

"Why aren't you in the brig?"
"Because.. you haven't put me there?"
        - Colonel Tigh and Billy

"Boomer, did you love her?"
 "I thought I did."
"When you think you love somebody, you love them. That’s what love is — thoughts."
       - Adama and Chief Tyrol

"Supposedly they can’t reproduce. You know biologically. So they have been trying every which way to produce offspring."
"They have this theory maybe the one thing they were missing was love. So Sharon and I… we were set up to—"
"To fall in love? They didn’t ask Sue-Shaun if she wanted to fall in love, right?"
        - Anders, Helo and Starbuck

"The scriptures say that when the 13th tribe landed on Earth, they looked up into the heavens and they saw their 12 brothers."
"Earth is the place where you can look up in the sky and see the constellations of the 12 colonies."
        - Starbuck and Roslin

"Like everyone else, my pilots have lost their families, and their friends, everyone they ever cared about. But on top of that, they're asked to put their lives on the line every single day for a fleet that seems more interested in what they do wrong than in what they do right. They're not asking for your pity, but they damn well deserve your respect."
        - Apollo

"This is a military vessel. We have rumors for every occasion."
        - Colonel Tigh

"Sometimes you gotta roll the hard six. Right, commander?"
        - Boomer to Adam

"Starbuck to all vipers — do not fire! Repeat, do not fire! I am a friendly, okay? We're all friendlies. So, let's just be friendly."
        - Starbuck

"Do you know what I miss most? You're going to laugh when I tell you this. Sports. I used to love getting to the pyramid game just before tip-off. By timing it right, I could sit down right at the horn and then let the emotion of the crowd flood over me. Waves and waves of it. Like electric current."
        - Baltar

"I wish you were here, Lee."
        - Starbuck, facing an unenviable task alone

"It's not enough to survive. One has to be worthy of surviving."
        - Adama

"I haven't done anything that most people on this ship haven't done. Including you."
"Doesn't make us right, Colonel, just a whole lot of people wrong."
        - Tigh and Apollo, playing the black market

"Did you really expect some utopian fantasy to rise from the ashes?"
        - Zarek to Apollo

"The fleet needs us. Rationing's too tight, ship comes in too late, we're the pressure valve, we provide. When Shevon needed antibiotics, she knew where to go. Without us, people would have nowhere to turn. The fleet would tear itself apart."
        - Phelan to Apollo

"It's hard to find the moral high ground when we're all standing in the mud."
        - Phelan to Apollo

"You know, Madame President, I've never been particularly interested in politics. I never wanted any lofty position of power. I never wanted to be the Vice President. That is, until this very moment. Because right now, I can't think of anything I want more."
        - Baltar, refusing to resign

"It takes months for you to train an effective viper pilot. And then they get killed. And their experience, their knowledge, their skill sets — they're all lost forever. So, if you could bring 'em back and put 'em in a brand new body, wouldn't you do it? 'Cause death then becomes a learning experience."
        - Boomer, on how the Cylons train pilots

"I'll drink to that. To right now."
"So, why don't *we*?"
"Why don't we what?"
        - Apollo and Starbuck, on different pages

"What are you suggesting? That we throw it out of an air lock?"
"I don't make suggestions, Mr. Baltar. If I want to toss a baby out an air lock, I'd say so."
        - Baltar and Roslin

"You've already killed billions of people. Do you honestly believe one more body's going to weigh any heavier on your conscience, which is something that you don't have, do you?"
        - Baltar, as #6's alter ego

"You gotta love a woman who can complain even with her jaw wired shut."
        - Doc Cottle to Cally

"Would you mind telling me what's going on? I'm not a frakking cylon. I'm not— oh. Well okay then."
"Sorry to bust up your day, brother."
        - Two copies of the Cavil model meet on Galactica

"I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but are you as shocked as I am?"
        - Adama, to Roslin, after the election

"Don't you lecture me about sin."
"I'm not the one who committed the first act of Cylon-on-Cylon violence in our history."
        - Number Three (Lucy Lawless) taunts 'Caprica'

"The last thing your son wants is me and Ellie for parents."
        - Tigh, urging caution to the Chief

"These people know that at some point they're going to be responsible for saving themselves."
        - Roslin

"If posterity defines this as genocide at least there'll be somebody alive to hate us."
        - Roslin to Adama

"Sometimes surviving can be its own death sentence."
        - Colonel Tigh

"We did a thousands things every day, good and bad, to pave for the way for those attacks."
        - Roslin, on the Cylon assault

"One must die to know the truth."
        - Deanna, seeking the 'Final Five'

        - The crew spot a 'Caprica'

"My husband ordered me to risk my life for yours. And that's exactly what I'm gonna do — bring Starbuck back to Apollo."
        - Dualla

"I mean these are our frakking marriages we're talking about, it's not some stupid dog fight we can just jink our way out of."
        - Lee to Kara

For that day when we all the time.
        - Adama's message with his gift to Apollo

"Do you see what's happening? Jobs are starting to be inherited, Madame President. We don't know how long we're gonna be on these ships. What if it's ten years? So I train my son to be a deckhand because that's what I am? And that's all he can ever be? Is that the future we want?"
        - Chief Tyrol

"Our tactical victories are just p*ssing them off."
"You mean by winning we're actually losing?"
        - Romo Lambkin, with some legal advice for Baltar

"Like everything human, justice is imperfect, it's flawed. But it's those very imperfections that separate us from the machines, and maybe even makes us a species worth saving."
        - Tribunal Judge

"Sometimes we have to do things that we never thought we were capable of, if only to show the enemy our will."
        - Admiral Helena Cain, "Razor"

"They had us. Game over... Why did they let us go?"
        - Colonel Tigh, after the Cylons withdraw

"From President of the Colonies to his... King of Fools. Better to be hated by everyone than to be loved by this lot."
        - Baltar, seeing his followers

"You're a better person than I am, Anders, because if I found out you were a Cylon I would put a bullet right between your eyes."
        - Starbuck

"Talk all you want but it ends with the first bang."
        - Tigh, as Helo enters a hostage situation

"Shoot me! If you think I'm a Cylon then I'm your enemy. Shoot me!"
        - Starback, putting her life in Roslin's hands

"You can stay in the room but get out of my head!"
        - Adama to Roslin

"Escort him off the ship. <pause> ...Please."
        - Number Six, with a request to a Centurion

"Make me feel something Sam. I dare ya."
        - Starbuck, frakking with Anders

"Any more discord and we may run out of spare bodies..."
        - Cavill

"Thank you."
"I don't do these things for you."
        - Baltar and Lee, standing up for Baltar's freedom

"It's Lee. It probably is the right thing to do... But sometimes the right thing is a luxury..."
        - Roslin, about Lee

"Something in the universe loves the entity that is me. I will choose to call this entity God."
        - Baltar

"A dying leader will know the truth of the opera house. This missing three will give you the five, who have come from the home of the thirteenth. You are the harbinger of death, Kara Thrace. You will lead them all to their end. End of line."
        - The Hybrid's message for Starbuck

"All it’s going to do is crowd the airlock."
        - Tigh, hearing about the existence of another Cylon

"Young actresses are being told they are empowered now, but the truth is, if you look hard at the material, they’re being allowed to behave like men, but in 14-year-old bodies. It’s a whole layer of deception."
        - Mary McDonnell, of "Battlestar Galactica", in an interview with "The Times"

"The whole idea of a world in which the military has become obsolete and is being downsized was so pertinent to the debates that certainly go on in the UK. We think of ourselves as living in peaceful times and yet we're not. And this cataclysm suddenly blindsides them from nowhere. And there are images, like the museum on Galactica: The weapons arsenal or something has been turned into a gift shop up on the ship, which is so British in a sense. The Tower of London is a scary, god-fearing building where people died grisly deaths, but now Beefeaters lead you along so you can have candyfloss along the way."
        - Jamie Bamber (aka Apollo) interviewed by IGN

"It was a grisly auditioning process. About five different auditions. You went to this thing that was a bit like 'Survivor', where you went into a big tall building and there's six guys that looked like me, except better looking and bigger. There were about twelve of her (Starbuck)! And Grace was there. And we all sort of played scenes together until there were four of us left."
        - Jamie Bamber (aka Apollo) interviewed by IGN

"Sometimes my friend I get the feeling you would have loved to live in the past."
        - Starbuck to Apollo, from the original 1978 Series

At the risk of sounding like one of these people, I've been toying for a while with the notion that Galactica is not, in any meaningful way, science fiction. Most narrative genres take place in a universe that operates according to a set of rules. The difference between naturalistic and fantastic fiction is that, in the latter, the universe is not our universe, and the rules are not our rules. Nevertheless, they exist, and are comprehensive and coherent. When it comes to Battlestar Galactica's fantastic elements, I'm beginning to wonder whether there are any rules. For more than a year, I and a host of other Galactica fans have been screaming to high heavens about the show's shoddy worldbuilding. Halfway through the second chorus of "All Along the Watchtower", I started to think that maybe Ron Moore isn't incapable of creating a coherent alternate universe. Maybe he just doesn't want to. Maybe a story that I've been reading, with ever-increasing frustration, as fantastic is actually surreal.
        - from Abigail's Nussbaum's "Asking the Wrong Questions" blog

Yes, I have been watching. I'm about one episode behind. But I must say, and I think I've got a lot of readers on my side, I just don't care as much about the show anymore. I think the producers and writers made an enormous mistake when they decided that they wanted to be "ripped from the headlines" rather than stick to what seemed to be a well-conceived, and preconceived, storyline. Instead of the sort of literary arc that made shows like Deadwood and the Wire such a joy to watch, BSG opted to be timely and in so doing became an inconsistent mess. Cylon motivation is incomprehensible at this point. Ditto their theology, philosophy and even biology.
For example, it drives me crazy that after years in pitched battle with the Cylons, the human race simply takes it as a given that it's impossible to tell a Cylon from a human, even under a microscope. Baltar said he couldn't create a test to tell the difference a few years ago and everyone is fine with that? Come on! Here's an idea, sit all the men in front of a stripper and wait and see if their spines glow (Remember how a glowing spine was a sign of randiness?). Also, if the hidden four (of the Final Five) are Cylons after  all, whatever happened to the whole bit about how Cylons don't age? Saul Tigh and Adama have been each other's wingmen for forty years, presumably someone would have noticed how old he looked for a 20-something fighter jock.
I could go on, believe me. (Oh and readers who complain that expecting plausibility from a sci-fi show will find no sympathy from me. In fact, the kind of plausibility I'm talking about matters more in sci-fi than any other genre). I like twists and turns as much as the next guy, but they need to make sense with what came before. Swerving plotlines are awesome when they work. Plotlines that look like a bowl of spaghetti are a bore. The show's non-concern with internal consistency has given it a soap opera feel, where every new episode induces a whiplashed "huh?" I'll keep watching out of loyalty and a desire to see the whole thing through. But it's become a real disappointment.
        - Jonah Goldberg, "National Review"

"The humans are pagan polytheists and the robots are monotheists, whose divine jihad is against the humans — even though the former know that the latter created them... There’s a curious mix of high-tech and superstition and scriptural fundamentalism — which interestingly suggests that religion is ineradicable, as today’s theorists of secularism are increasingly saying... Some of the robots think they are human, and some of the humans fear they may be robots... There’s lots of romance, though this bores me. Less kissing, more killing is a frequent internal refrain of mine."
        - Anthony Gottlieb, author of "The Dream of Reason: A History of Philosophy"


"Don't be afraid of the dark? Are you kidding me? Of course you should be afraid of the dark!"
        - Dean

"No chick-flick moments!"
        - Sam, cutting off Dean's apology

"If you're gonna have faith, you can't just have it when the miracles happen, you gotta have it when they don't too."
        - Layla

"Dad managed just fine without these stupid costumes! All I'm saying is these uniforms cost hard-earned cash. You think credit card fraud is easy?"
        - Dean, going undercover

"So to recap: the only successful intel we've scored so far is the bartender's number."
        - Dean, making the best of a bad situation

"Random coincidence happens — but not to us."
        - Sam

"Don't worry, I'm sure there's something in Pittsburg worth killing."
        - Dean

"It wouldn't have done any good cause the bastard's bullet proof... and I wasn't packing which is probably a good thing cause I probably would have just burned a clip in him just out of principle alone."
        - Dean

"So what are we today, Dean? Rock stars? Are we army rangers?"
"We're LA TV scouts, hunting for people with special skills."
        - Sam and Dean

"I don't understand Dean, we burned the damn thing."
"Well thank you, Captain obvious."
        - Sam and Dean

"Vampires! Get's funnier every time I hear it."
        - Dean

"Here, give them my insurance."
"Elroy MacGillacuddy?"
"And his two loving sons."
        - John and Sam

"It's a warrior's death. Honorable, one of the best you can have."
"I think I'll pass on the 72 virgins. I'm not that into prude chicks anyway."
        - Tessa and Dean

"Go to the first motel in the Yellow Pages and ask for Jim Rockford. It's how we find each other when we get separated."
        - Dean, helping Diana find Sam

"This is bothering me."
"Well, you are digging up a corpse."
"No, not that. That's, uh, pretty much par for the course, actually."
        - Sam and Diana

"I don't know what this thing is."
"You mean Carly's MySpace address?"
"Yeah, MySpace. What the hell is that? Seriously, is that, like, some sort of p*rn site?"
        - Dean and Sam

"So you know who I am."
"I get the newsletter."
        - Dean's reputation precedes him with a Demon

"I want you out of harm's way."
"And what about you?"
"Harm's way doesn't bother me."
        - Sam and Ava

"Am I supposed to go darkside or something?"
        - A concerned Sam to Dean

"What would Buffy do?"
        - A film geek looks for inspiration on "Supernatural"

"Married couples can get a divorce. Me and him, we're like Siamese twins."
"It's conjoined twins!"
"See what I mean?"
        - Dean and Sam

"What's wrong with my food?"
"It's not food anymore! It's Darwinism!"
        - Dean and Sam

"You're never afraid?"
"No, not really."
[Sam pulls a long knife out from under Dean's pillow]
"That's not fear. That's precaution."
"Alright, whatever. I'm too tired to argue."
        - Sam and Dean

"It's all just cranks and pranks."
        - Bobby, on alien abductions

"You know for a stakeout, your car is pretty conspicuous."
        - Madison to the guys

"You're one helluva PA."
        - Mark to a formerly undercover Dean

"Did I just see you strike out with a prostitute? How does that work?"
        - A cute bartender chats to Dean

"All you gotta do is nudge humans in the right direction — some whiskey here, a hooker there. And they'll walk right into hell with big fat smiles on their faces. You kind is corrupt, weak. Our will is stronger. That's why we'll win.
"And that's how it ends?"
"No. That's how it begins."
        - A Demon to Dean in "Sin City"

"I'll be there with you — the little fallen angel on your shoulder."
        - Ruby, making a deal with Sam

"You fudging touch me again. I'll fudging kill you."
        - Dean after the pagan god scorns him for swearing while she tortues him

"Black-eyed skank."
        - Dean to Ruby

"If she wants us dead, all she has to do is stop saving our lives."
        - Sam to Dean, about Ruby

"I hate witches, always spewing their bodily fluids everywhere. It's creepy. It's downright unsanitary."
        - Dean

"It's like fatal attraction all over again. Why does the rabbit always get screwed in the deal? Poor little guy."
        - Dean, finding a dead rabbit in a witch's house

"Most of them have forgotten what it means. Or even that they were. That's what happens when you go to Hell... I remember what it's like — being human."
        - Ruby about demons' humanity

"You need to get him ready to fight this war — without you."
        - Ruby to Dean about Sam

"Do you think it's because we're so awesome? I think it's because we're so awesome."
        - Dean, on why they are a target for demons

"FYI: Ghosts are real. So are werewolves, vampires, channeling links, evil clowns that eat people. If it makes you feel any better Bigfoot is a hoax."
        - Dean

"I wanted you salted and burned..."
        - Bobby to 'Lazarus' Dean

"Hey Bobby, what's the deal with the liquor store? Parents outta town or something?"
        - Dean, to a downbeat Bobby

"Come on Dean, you can't shoot me with bullets."
"I'm not shooting you."
        - Meg and Dean

"Can you tell me where I can get reception on this thing?" *flips his phone on*
"USS Enterprise?"
        - Dean, finding himself back in 1973

"Come on, what, are you allergic to straight answers you sonofabtich?"
        - Dean, aggravated by Castiel's evasiveness

"So tell me Mr Hunter, you kill a vampire with a wooden stake or silver?"
"Neither. You cut their heads off."
        - Mr Campbell, with a test for Dean

"Your brother is headed down a dangerous road. So stop it — or we will."
        - Castiel to Dean, as Sam heads off with Ruby

"And I remember you, Jamie. I never forget a pretty... everything."
        - Dean, breaking the ice with a hot waitress

"How about a beer?"
"Well I don't know Agent Young, you off duty?"
"And then some."
        - Dean and Jamie

"I don't think we're staying on the case."
"What, too weird for you?"
"Not weird enough."
        - Dean and Jamie

"We have a lot of experience with strange."
        - Dean

"Well, look at me. I mean, I came back from the furnace without any of my old scars. No bullet wounds, no knife cuts, none of the off-angled fingers from all of the breaks - I mean, my hide is as smooth as a baby's bottom. Which leads me to conclude, sadly, that my virginity is intact."
"Please. Dean. Maybe angels can pull you out of Hell, but no one can do that."
"Brother! I have been re-hymenated, and the dude will not abide!"
        - Dean and Sam


"So what have we got? Where's all the crosses?"
"And holy water? Jury's out on that one, a bit like homeopathy it's a question of faith — on both sides. They can be superstitious too. In my opinion, religion is a placebo, which isn't to say placebos can't work."
        - Michael and Angie, "Habeas Corpus"

"Our free range days are over."
        - Pearse, on what's at stake, "Habeas Corpus"

"The only machine that can see or hear a leech is us... surveillance is a bitch."
        - Vaughan, "In Nomine Patris"

"They're very careful about who they recruit — like we are."
        - Vaughan to Michael, "In Nomine Patris"

"They have a way of finding out what you want — or who."
        - Vaughan to Michael, "In Nomine Patris"

"Sex is something the leeches use to get what they want. It's not how they make other leeches now is it?"
        - Vaughan, "Sub Judice"

"They say they only take those who want to go. They don't tell you what they do to make you want to go."
        - Vaughan, "Sub Judice"

"I had no choice."
"There's always a choice. They can't force you to do what you don't want."
"No, they force you to do what you *do* want. They're very big on free will... They'll find out what *you* want."
"They gave you a boy? A boy who wouldn't grow up, who wouldn't tell his parents."
        - Pearse interrogates Oliver, "Mea Culpa"

"Right then, where's the witchfinder-general?"
        - Michael, looking for Pearse, "Mea Culpa"

"How'd you get away the first time?"
"I ran. When I saw bullets didn't make any difference... the rest of the squad stood their ground."
        - Michael and Vaughan, "Terra Incognita"

"Maybe they want peace... maybe they're evolving?"
"They're *outside* time."
        - Angie and Pearse, "Terra Incognita"

"Tell me, Father, have you any proof other than our existence that God exists? In the time since you believed, has God given you any other sign? Doesn’t that leave you in a quandary — we are evil and yet we are your only proof that God exists? ...We are the source of of all religion. We are the afterlife. There's nothing else."
        - Paul Hoyle to Pearse, "Persona Non Grata"

"They want peace — final peace... it's their Eden and we're not invited."
        - Pearse, explaining the Code 5 'final solution' to Michael, "Persona Non Grata"


"Hey Mike, hand me my calculations? Ah, here it is. 'Breach Hull - All Die'. Even had it underlined."
        - Crow, "Mystery Science Theater 3000"

"Well believe me, Mike, I calculated the odds of this succeeding versus the odds I was doing something incredibly stupid... and I went ahead anyway."
        - Crow, "Mystery Science Theater 3000"

"Okay, let's see here... Shatner, Shatner... no, doesn't look like he's in this one; we're safe."
       - Tom Servo,  reading the credits, "Mystery Science Theater 3000"

"What do you think the lesson of the movie was?"
"Don't watch it."
        - Tom Servo and Crow, "Mystery Science Theater 3000"

"If you only see 10,000 movies this year, make sure this isn't one of them."
         - Tom Servo, "Mystery Science Theater 3000"

"I want to hurt this movie, but I can never hurt it like it hurt me."
        - Crow, "Mystery Science Theater 3000"

"Does just walking through it make you want to kill yourself? Then it's a HIGH SCHOOL."
        - Crow, "Mystery Science Theater 3000"

"I never thought the end of the world would be so annoying!"
        - Joel, "Mystery Science Theater 3000"

"You know, elf tastes just like chicken!"
        - Tom, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" from "Mystery Science Theater 3000"

"How do we stand on fuel?"
"I'm in favor of it."
       - Film Scientist and Crow, "Mystery Science Theater 3000"

"There is one terrifying word in the world of nuclear physics."
        - Film Narrator and Tom Servo, "Mystery Science Theater 3000"

"I wanna decide who lives and who dies!"
       - Crow

"England, the land of jug-earred, chinless stomach-eaters."
"Still, they're not French."
        - Tom Servo and Crow

"Crow, how could you make a deal with the devil?"
"How could I not, Mike, with prices like these?"
        - Mike and Crow

"Do something, Joel! This aggresive niceness is making me feel really uncomfortable."
        - Crow

"It is everything and nothing."
"Could you be a little more vague, please?"
        - Actor on screen and Crow

"His power lies apparently in his ability to choose incompetent enemies."
        - Crow T. Robot

"You know, they shouldn't have set their phasers to 'miss'."
        - Mike

"I've realigned the Penrose Tubes and jettisoned a stream of Einsteinium through the Hawking Converter by reversing the Oppenheimer Effect and propelling us through the Asimov Space Curtain."
        - Mike, "Laserblast"

"I see you've decided to go psycho. Godspeed."
        - Dr. Forrester

"Aw, whenever they test nuclear bombs, it's the monsters who suffer."
        - Crow, "Godzilla vs. Megalon

"It was a dark and stormy night. I'd taken a creative writing class."
        - Crow, "Pod People"

I think there should be a requirement that all films — good, bad, or indifferent — have a commentary track by at least two cast members of MST3K. It would make every movie better.
        - Sykora, seen on the RPGNet Forum

Don’t visit Tokyo as the city tends to be flattened by a sumo wrestler dressed as a monster breathing fire. Skip all landmarks as alien invaders like to destroy tourist attractions first to show that they mean business.
        - Some tips from "The Times" on how to stay safe in scifi movies


"Nobody believes me, but Eerie is the center of weirdness for the entire planet... When I try to tell this to my family, they just think I'm weird. Better weird than dead."
        - Marshall, getting used to life in Eerie

"Statistically speaking, Eerie is the most normal place in the entire country. Statistics lie."
        - Marshall

"Everybody knows money can't buy you happiness, but Simon was about to find out that money can bring you big, big, trouble."
        - Narration from "Eerie Indiana: ATM with a Heart of Gold"

"Camera—" "Check"
"Film—" "Check"
"Tape recorder—" "Check"
"Notebook—" "Check"
"Markers—" "Check"
"Swiss army knife—" "Check"
"Map of Eerie—" "Check"
"Signal Mirror—" "Check"
"Flashlight—" "Check"
"Moist towelettes?" "In case we get egged"
"Bug spray?" "In case we get bugged"
"Clean underwear?" "In case we get scared"
"Garlic, wooden stake, holy water—" "Check, check, check"
        - Simon and Marshall prepare a Halloween checklist

"I was ready for everything — except what actually happened."
        - Marshall

"You wouldn't believe how easy it is to lose stuff here. I mean stuff that was there a minute ago would
just vanish the moment you turn your back. Gone, disappeared, lost forever. I figure, Eerie is caught in some electromagnetic vortex that messes up the tracking system we humans use to find stuff."
        - Marshall

"The problem with losing stuff is that it always happens when you're not watching."
        - Simon

"I figure the entire state of Indiana is actually an underground storage depot for lost stuff."
        - Marshall

"Everybody's right here except not exactly right now."
        - The Milkman to Marshall

"It's hard not to like somebody who saves your butt as an introduction."
        - Marshall, about Janet

"It's easy to believe almost anything when you consider just how big the universe is. It's even easier to believe the unbelievable here in my little corner of the universe. That's why  when Professor Nigel Zircon rolled into town with his traveling museum of the parabelievable, Simon and I were the first in line."
        - Marshall

"Operation Space Object will work best if we find a small, isolated town with an ineffective
government and an overbearing, money-grabbing mayor."
        - The Mayor, reading the Professor's notes

"Wow spelt backwards is wow!"
        - Marshall

Note to myself: Never make a deal with your parents without a lawyer.
        - A reluctant Marshall has to do some chores

"It's tough to battle the forces of weirdness when you're under-18 and your parents can still boss you around."
        - Marshall

"Mom are guys worth it?"
"Only sometimes dear."
        - Syndi and Mrs. Teller, upset by her boyfriend Doug

"Mom this isn't Happy Days. Can we have a little privacy?"
        - Marshall, after inviting Melanie over to the Teller house

"The word on the street was to stay away from this place, which is why we were there."
        - Marshall, checking out a haunted house

"Stamp-collecting is looking better than ever. I mean that's the worst that could happen? Paper cut?"
        - Simon, looking for a less dangerous hobby

"Who'd be crazy enough to live in a haunted house?"
"I've got a better question for ya' — who'd be crazy enough to mess with someone's stuff who's crazy enough to live in a haunted house?"
        - Simon and Dash

"This kinda stuff happen to you guys a lot?"
        - Dash to the guys

"Anyone who's remotely normal counts as a stranger around here."
        - Dash, about Eerie

"Until then, I'm going to use these for a name."
"Plus and Minus?"
"No, no, no 'Dash X!' Get it? Dash... x. Plus and mi- what kind of name is that?! You guys are a constant source of embarrassment."
        - Dash and Marshall

"The World O' Stuff was overrun by barbarians — little barbarians. If you gave these guys an island and no parents, they'd be Lord of the Flies. It was every customer for himself."
        - Marshall

"I don't understand, why do all my clothes smell like garlic?"
"You were on vampire patrol last night, weren't you?"
        - The Teller family question Marshall

"I couldn't believe it, I'd never won anything in my life, let alone a lottery I didn't even enter."
        - Marshall, surprised to win the Eerie Harvest King lottery

"OK, maybe being Harvest King isn't so bad. I mean, who am I to turn down a kingship?"
        - Marshall

"It's you!"
"Well I ain't the log lady."
        - Marshall, after Dash saves the day with a well placed log

"You will live to tell the tale."
        - Marshall, getting an 'Eerie' fortune cookie

"I guess when you're all alone in this world, it makes it tough to think about anyone but yourself."
        - Marshall, about Dash

"Every kid dreams of being the star of their own TV show... Trust me, it's a living hell."
        - Marshall\Omri

# DOCTOR WHO (SERIES 27: 2005)

The dominant theme at BBC Radio all week was the resurrection: not of Christ but of Doctor Who. The 900 year old alien time lord with the ability to regenerate in a new body returns to television this evening in the guise of Christopher Eccleston, star of 'The Second Coming' in which, by happenstance, he played the real Messiah.
        - Pat Stacey's Easter Saturday (2005) radio review for "The Irish Independent"

"To get that many people dressed up and being silly — they've got to be students?"
"That's very good, well done. They're not students."
        - Rose (Billie Piper) and The Doctor (Christopher Eccleston), beset by the bizarre, "Rose"

"If you're an alien, how come you sound like you're from the North?"
"Lots of planets have a north."
        - Rose and The Doctor, "Rose"

"Really though Doctor, who are you?"
"'s like when you're a kid, the first time they tell you that the world's turning and you just can't quite believe it 'cos everything looks like it's standing still? I can feel it. The turn of the Earth. The ground beneath our feet is spinning at a 1000 miles an hour and the entire planet is hurtling round the sun at 67,000 miles an hour and I can feel it. We're falling through space, you and me, clinging to the skin of this tiny little world and if we let go — that's who I am. Now forget me. Go home."
        - Rose and The Doctor, "Rose"

"You think you're so impressive."
"I am so impressive."
        - Rose, daring The Doctor, "The End of the World"

"You lot, you spend all your time thinking about dying — like you're gonna get killed by eggs, or beef, or global warming, or asteroids. But you never take time to imagine the impossible, that maybe you survive. This is 5 billion years in your future. This is the day, hold on: <checks time> this is the day the sun expands. Welcome to the end of the world."
        - The Doctor, welcoming Rose to "The End of the World"

"The paper's slightly pyschic, shows them whatever I want them to see. Saves a lot of time."
        - The Doctor, explaining his all purpose invitation to Rose, "The End of the World"

"Hello, my name's Rose. That's a sortof plant, we might be related... I'm talking to a twig."
        - Rose, feeling lonely at "The End of the World"

"Your wife? ...Partner? ...Concubine? ...Prostitute?"
        - Jabe, bluntly enquiring about Rose's association with The Doctor, "The End of the World"

"Help her."
"Everything has its time and everything dies."
        - Rose and The Doctor, letting nature take its course, "The End of the World"

"It's 1869. How can I die now?"
"Time isn't a straight line. It can twist into any shape. You can be born in the 20th century and die in the 19th and it's all my fault. Sorry... And how do you think I feel? I saw the fall of Troy, World War Five, I pushed boxes at the Boston Tea Party — now I'm going to die in a dungeon. In Cardiff."
        - Rose and The Doctor, trapped in a tight spot, "The Unquiet Dead"

"The government are gathering together all the experts in aliens, and who’s the biggest expert of the lot—"
"Patrick Moore?"
        - The Doctor and Rose, "The Aliens of London"

"Your race is dead. You all burned. All of you. Ten million ships on fire, the entire Dalek race wiped out in one second. I watched it happen. I made it happen."
        - The Doctor, "Dalek"

"You would make a good Dalek."
        - The Dalek to The Doctor, "Dalek"

"What use are emotions if you can't save the woman you love?"
        - The Dalek to The Doctor, "Dalek"

"Time travelling is like visiting Paris. You can't just read the guide book, you have to eat the food, use the wrong verbs, get charged double by the waiter..."
        - The Doctor, introducing Adam to the Fourth Human Empire, "The Long Game"

"Who said you're not important? I've travelled to all sorts of places, done things you couldn't even imagine, but you two? Street corner, two in the morning, getting a taxi home — I've never lived a life like that."
        - The Doctor, trying to save some very ordinary people, "Father's Day"

"Now Rose, you're not going to bring about the end of the world, are you?"
        - The Doctor, babysitting an infant Rose as adult Rose plays havoc with timeline, "Father's Day"

"Not very 'Spock', is it, just asking? I think you should do a scan for alien tech... for once would it kill ya?"
        - Rose to The Doctor, "The Empty Child"

"Since when did Daleks have a concept of blasphemy?"
        - The Doctor, "The Parting of the Ways"

"Is that all you've got? Useless! Nul points."
        - The Doctor, "The Parting of the Ways"

"That's the choice I have to make for every living thing — die as a human or live as a Dalek."
        - The Doctor, "The Parting of the Ways"

"So the year 5 billlion — the sun expands and the Earth gets roasted..."
"That was our first date."
        - The Doctor (David Tennant) & Rose, "New Earth"

"Omigod, I'm a chav!"
       - Cassandra, seeing Rose's reflection, "New Earth"

"You can tell you're getting older. Your assistants are getting younger."
        - Sarah Jane Smith to The Doctor, "School Reunion"

"You can spend the rest of your life with me. But I can't spend the rest of my life with you. I have to live on. That's the curse of the Time Lords."
        - The Doctor to Rose, "School Reunion"

"You act like such a radical and yet all you want to do is preserve the old order."
        - Finch to The Doctor, "School Reunion"

"Their lives are so fleeting, so many goodbyes."
        - Finch, on the human condition, "School Reunion"

"Everyone has nightmares. Even monsters under the bed have nightmares, don't you monster?"
"What do monsters have nightmares about?"
"Me. Hah!"
        - The Doctor and a young Reinette, "The Girl in the Fire Place"

"What's a horse doing on a spaceship?"
"Mickey, what's pre-Revolutionary France doing on a spaceship! Let's get some perspective."
        - Mickey and The Doctor, "The Girl in the Fire Place"

"I have seen the world inside your head and I know anything is possible... Godspeed, my lonely angel."
        - Reinette, to The Doctor, "The Girl in the Fire Place"

"All these different worlds, not one of them gets it right."
        - The Doctor, visiting a parallel Earth, "Rise of the Cybermen"

"We must feed! We must feed! We must feed... [hits translator]"
        - The Doctor meets some melodramatic aliens, "The Impossible Planet"

"It's buried beneath us, in the darkness, waiting."
"What's your job, chief dramatist?"
        - Rose meets a melodramatic engineer, "The Impossible Planet"

"Duly noted: Ursula Blake — most likely to fight back."
        - Victor to Ursula, "Love & Monsters"

"What happened last Christmas?"
"Great big spaceship... hovering over London?"
"I had a bit of a hangover."
        - Donna, missing the big picture, "Runaway Bride"

"Guess what I've got Donna? ...Pockets."
"How did that fit in there?"
"They're bigger on the inside."
        - The Doctor, springing a surprise for the Empress, "Runaway Bride"

"We might die any minute but all the same, it's beautiful."
        - Martha Jones, trapped on the moon, "Smith and Jones"

"Crossing into established events is strictly forbidden — except for cheap tricks."
        - The Doctor explains the rules of time travel to Martha, "Smith and Jones"

"The man who makes people better? How sanctimonious is that?"
        - The Master, on the Doctor's name, "The Sound of Drums"

"I've got a bit of a complex life. Things don't always happen to me in the right order."
"Of course. You're a time-traveller, it hasn't happened to you yet. None of it."
        - The Doctor and Sally Sparrow, "Blink"

"I'm not invisible, just unnoticeable."
"But I could see you."
"That's because you wanted to."
        - Martha and Tom Milligan, "Last of the Time Lords"

The Doctor would appear to have a new set of enemies. Like the Cybermen, they appear once to have been humans, but they now seem to have purged emotion, humour, and indeed humanity, from their make-up. The Doctor’s new enemies are, of course, the Censors. Inhabitants of a strange parallel universe known only as the British Board of Film Classification, the Censors suffer from tragic myopia but wield immense power. They have ruled that the latest series of Doctor Who cannot be shown to children under 12, when it comes out on DVD, because of the programme’s “excessive cruelty”. In the words of one of the Censors, “however cross one might be with a Dalek, being cruel is not the way to deal with the issue. Some children might take it into the playground.” It’s good to know that the BBFC are concerned that any Daleks who find their way through space and time into the nation’s playgrounds should not be unmercifully bullied... The BBFC professes itself “concerned at the use of violence to resolve problems” in a programme that children might see. Where have they been while the rest of us were growing up? Conflict is integral to drama, and those who construct narratives to grip young minds have always known that. J. R. R. Tolkien and J. K. Rowling place their heroes on fields of battle under darkened skies where good and evil contest for mastery.
        - Michael Gove, "The Censors will Exterminate", in "The Times"

Doctor Who is a genius, a man of the universe... Since when did he acquire the blinkered values of a bearded Sixties sociology lecturer?
        - James Delingpole, on the pop-politics of Doctor Who, "The Spectator" (2008)

I vividly remember the first Doctor Who, William Hartnell, and the first episode. I remember where I was sitting, I remember what our first television looked like. The Doctor went back to visit cavemen, and I wrote a description of what I’d seen in a colouring book. I suppose that was my first television review.
The golden ageism associated with the Doctor is particularly virulent. What is it with sci-fi fans that they alone are incapable of moving on? They clutch at the past with a fantasy yearning in complete contradiction, you’d have thought, to the observations and lessons implicit in science fiction. Never mind: either way, they’re in a world of their own, and the BBC has foolishly rebuilt it for them. The new Doctor Who has an impossible brief: to be in two places at once. It’s been made at the insistence of an audience of ghosts, adults who wish to be reminded of childhood and a lot of real children who’ve never seen it before, have no idea what a police box is, but have grown up with Star Trek, Star Wars and The Lord of the Rings. So, how frightening do you think a Dalek’s going to look to them?
        - AA Gill, TV Reviewer for "The Times"

The best thing about it was Billie Piper, who was well cast as a modern, chavishly smart sidekick who runs well. Doctor Who’s assistants all had to do a lot of running and sometimes falling over, so they had to be rescued. Piper has a face that the small screen just wants to lick.
        - AA Gill, again, in "The Times"

Billie Piper—a British pop star soon to be adorning screensavers at finer engineering schools everywhere—brings limitless pluck to her portrayal of Rose. In Spice Girls terms, the character is two parts Sporty and one part Baby—but, more to the point, she's a post-Buffy the Vampire Slayer figure, a self-possessed wiseass who entertains some ambivalence about her supernatural gig.
        - Troy Patterson, "Slate Magazine"

It's scary sci-fi, camp humour and warm family viewing all in one — Star Trek, Dawn of the Dead, Shaun of the Dead and Carry On. And it's wonderful.
        - Sam Wollaston, "The Guardian"

"He makes the smart popular and the popular smart."
        - Mal Young, BBC TV drama head, about Russell T Davies, chief writer for 2005 series

"My entire career has been a secret plan to get this job. I applied before but I got knocked back because the BBC wanted someone else. Also I was seven. Anyway, I'm glad the BBC has finally seen the light, and it's a huge honour to be following Russell into the best - and the toughest - job in television."
        - Steven Moffat, taking over as producer or Dr Who (2008)

"Oh marvellous, I'm a cliche."
        - Marcie, after she escapes down a ventilation shaft in Russell T Davies's "Dark Season"

"I don't have to conform to the vagaries of time and space! I'm a looney!"
        - Campbell Baines (David Tennant), "Taking Over the Asylum"

"You have a stash of bodies!?!"
        - Gwen to Captain Jack, "Torchwood"

"How do you switch off from all this? What do you do to relax?"
"I torture people in happy relationships."
        - Gwen and Owen, "Torchwood"

Though it was billed as an adult spinoff of Doctor Who, Torchwood is more an unruly teenager, giggling because it is allowed to include sex and swearing.
        - Dublin's "Metro" review of the series

John Inman's death moved Russell T Davies to write a typically ebullient letter to the Guardian last week, pointing out that for all the po-faced talk about perpetuating homosexual stereotypes, Mr Humphries, the character Inman portrayed in Are You Being Served? was 'essentially happy'. 'As a young gay viewer, back then, I loved that character,' Davies wrote.
        - From "The Guardian"


"If you could touch the alien sand, and hear the cry of strange birds, and watch them wheel in another sky, would that satisfy you?"
        - The Doctor (William Hartnett) to a skeptic

"What do you think of that, now, eh? A Viking helmet."
"What do you mean, 'maybe'? What do you think it is, a space helmet for a cow?"
        - The Doctor (William Hartnett) and Steven

"I tolerate this century but I don't enjoy it."
        - The Doctor, in "An Unearthly Child"

"You know, just once I'd like to meet an alien menace that wasn't immune to bullets."
        - The Brigadier

"Have you noticed the way people's intelligence capabilities decline sharply the minute they start waving guns around?"
        - The Doctor

"There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes."
        - The Doctor

"What do we do now?"
"Keep it confused. Feed it with useless information. I wonder if I have a television set handy..."
        - Sergeant Benton and The Doctor

"Would you like a jelly baby?"
"So it's true then, the evil one does eat babies?"
        - The Doctor (Tom Baker) meets Leela

"These taxes, are they like sacrifices to tribal gods?"
"Yes... only paying taxes is more painful."
        - Leela and The Doctor (Tom Baker)

"One grows tired of jelly babies, Castellan. One grows tired of almost everything, Castellan, except power."
        - The Doctor, In David Agnew's "The Invasion of Time"

"I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones."
        - The Doctor, in John Peel's "Timewyrm: Genesys"

"I loathe bus stations: terrible places, full of lost luggage and lost souls. And then there's unrequited love, and tyranny, and cruelty. We all have a world of our own terrors to face."
        - The Doctor (Sylvester McCoy) to Ace

"He doesn't have to outrun the lion, only his friend. Then the lion catches up with his friend and eats him. The strong survive, the weak are killed: the law of the jungle! ... Yes, very clever, if you don't mind losing your friend. But what happens when the next lion turns up? I think you'd better get your running shoes on, gentlemen."
        - The Doctor

"There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea's asleep, and the rivers dream; people made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice, somewhere else the tea's getting cold. Come on, Ace. We've got work to do."
        - The Doctor to Ace

"Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to puree of bat guano; and the greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunch to back it up!"
        - Harlan Ellison, at a 1975 SciFi Convention

>> More Doctor Who quotes via Wikipedia


"He doesn't even bend a little."
"That's why he'll break! It only needs one small thing. If he will answer one simple question, the rest will follow. Why did he resign?"
        - Number Two & Assistant, concerning Number Six, "The Prisoner"

"I am not a number, I am a free man. I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed, or numbered. My life is my own."
        - Number Six, "The Prisoner"

Questions are a burden to others; answers a prison for oneself.
        - Village Motto, "The Prisoner"

"I plan to escape and come back."
"Escape and come back?"
"That's right. Escape, come back, wipe this place off the face of the earth, obliterate it... and you with it."
        - Number Six and Number Two, "The Chimes of Big Ben"

"Are you going to run?"
"Like the blazes; first chance I get."
"I mean, run for office?"
        - Number Two and Number Six, "Free For All"

"White Queen's Rook, sir, moved without orders!"
"Bring him in for treatment."
"Remove White Queen's Rook to hospital."
        - Number Fifty Six and Number Two, "Checkmate"

"I intend to discover who are the prisoners... and who are the wardens."
        - Number Six, "The Prisoner"

"Why do you care?"
        - Number Two, to Number Six, "Once Upon A Time"

"Why don't you resign?"
"You're very good!"
        - Number Six and Number Two, "Once Upon A Time"

"Fool? Yes, not a rat."
        - Number Two and Number Six, "Once Upon A Time"

"I'm not a number, I'm a man, and you can't — oh, wait, I'm Number 5. In your face Number 6!"
        -  Homer, on "The Island", a parody of "The Village", "The Simpsons"


Inspector Bumstead: "What kind of killer, do you think, stops to save a fish?"

John Murdoch: "When was the last time you remember doing something during the day?"

Mr. Wall: "Do not fret, Anna. I will give you some more pretty things soon."
Emma Murdoch: "I'm not Anna."
Mr. Wall: "You will be soon, yes."

Dr. Schreber: "Will a man, given the history of a killer, continue in that vein? Or are we, in fact, more than the mere sum of our memories?"

Mr. Hand: "I have become the monster you were intended to be."

John Murdoch: "You wanted to know what it was about us that made us human? Well, you're not going to find it in here (points to head). You went looking in the wrong place."


"You've got a gift."
"It's not a gift. It's just a brain."
        - Holloway & Leaven, "Cube"

"I have nothing to live for out there."
"What is out there?"
"Endless human stupidity."
"I can live with that."
        - Worth & Leaven, "Cube"

"Let him go you Nazi!"
"You listen to me, woman, everyday I mop after your bleeding heart. The only reason you even exist is because I keep you. I know your type."
        - Holloway & Quentin, "Cube"

"Maybe he just starved to death... God I'm hungry."
        - Cassabdra Rains, "Cube Zero"


"I don't think that a person should run unless he's being chased."
        - Casey, explaining his dislike for sports

"So aliens have just been setting us up over the years with their E.T.'s and their Men In Black movies, just so no one would believe it if it ever happened?"
"I think so."
        - Stokes and Casey, discussing a possible alien takeover of Hollywood

"They're using us as hosts."
"How do you know that?"
"She doesn't. She's a Trekkie sci-fi geek."
        - the gang discuss the usefulness of a geek like Stokes

"I just didn't want to never have done that."
        - Stokes, kissing Stan goodbye

"We're right at ground zero... It took the high school in a day and a half. We can't outrun it."
        - Casey, making a stand

"Did it really take two of us to get to your car?"
"Nope. One of us is a decoy."
        - Zeke and Casey

"I met you, all of you, and all of you were different from the others. You were lost and lonely, just like me. And I thought that maybe I could give you a taste of my world. A world without anger, without fear, without attitude. Where the underachiever goes home at night to parents that care. The jock can be smart, the ugly duckling beautiful, and the class wuss doesn't have to live in terror. The new girl, well, the new girl she can just fit right in with anybody. People who are just like her."
        - Mary Beth, explaining her vision for a new world

"You wouldn't have liked it here anyway."
        - Casey, to Mary Beth


"We are now up against live, hostile targets. So, if Little Red Riding Hood should happen to show up... I expect you to chin the bitch!"
        - Sergeant Wells

        - Cooper and Spoon

"You know what this reminds me of? Rorke's Drift. A 100 men of Harlech making a desperate stand against 10,000 Zulu warriors. Outnumbered... surrounded. Staring death in the face. Not flinching for a moment."
        - Private Spoon

"What are you going to do? Torture him?"
"Dunno. What would you do?"
"I'd torture him."
        - Megan and Private Cooper

"This is a pile of rancid s**t!"
"Now what do you believe?"
"I'm beginning to believe you, but I think Joe might have worded it better."
        - Joe, Megan & Coop

"If they're real what else is real?"
        - Megan

"There's one more thing to have to learn about command Coop, sometimes the men you kill are your own."
        - Wells

"I'm an English teacher not f*****g Tomb Raider."
        - Beth, "The Descent" (also by Neil Marshall)


Ray : "I think we better split up."
Egon : "Good idea."
Venkman : "Yeah... we can do more damage that way."

Egon : "Sorry, Venkman, I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought."

Venkman : "Back off man. I'm a scientist"

Ray : "Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here."
Walter Peck : "They caused an explosion."
Mayor : "Is this true?"
Venkman : "Yes, it's true. This man has no dick."

Ray : "Gozer the Gozerian - good evening. As a duly designated representative of the City, County and State of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activities and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension."

Winston : "Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say YES!"

Ray : "Personally, I liked the university. They gave us money and facilities, we didn't have to produce anything. You've never been in the private sector. They expect *results*."

Janine : "I think it's great that you're looking after that man. You're a real humanitarian."
Egon : "I don't think he's human."


Yoda: "I am wondering, why are you here?"
Luke Skywalker: "I'm looking for someone."
Yoda: "Looking? Found someone, you have, I would say, hmmm?"
Luke Skywalker: "Right..."
Yoda: "Help you I can. Yes, mmmm."
Luke Skywalker: "I don't think so. I'm looking for a great warrior."
Yoda: "Ohhh! Great warrior! [laughs and shakes his head] Wars not make one great!"
        - The Empire Strikes Back

"I'm Luke Skywalker, I'm here to rescue you."
        - Star Wars : A New Hope

C-3PO: "He made a fair move. Screaming about it can't help you."
Han Solo: "Let him have it. It's not wise to upset a Wookiee."
C-3PO: "But sir, nobody worries about upsetting a droid."
Han Solo: "That's 'cause droids don't pull people's arms out of their sockets when they lose. Wookiees are known to do that."
Chewbacca: "Grrf."
C-3PO: "I see your point, sir. I suggest a new strategy, R2: let the Wookiee win."
        - Star Wars, A New Hope

"Adventure. Excitement. A Jedi craves not these things."
        - Yoda

"I'm looking for a planet..."
"Lost a planet Master Obi Wan has. How embarrassing."
        - Obi Wan and Yoda, "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones"

"This is how liberty dies — to thunderous applause."
        - Padmé in "Revenge of the Sith"

"After 20+ years, I’m still waiting for someone to come up with an example of a single kind of force that Imperial stormtrooper armor could stop or even mitigate. It sure as hell isn’t blasters, rocks, fists, leaping teddy bears, logs, branches, sticks, The Force, or anything else that ever transpired in the course of the action."
        - JD Baldwin

"What would happen in a battle between an Enterprise security team, who always get killed soon after appearing, and a squad of Imperial Stormtroopers, who can't hit the broad side of a barn?"
        - Tom Galloway

"We're talking about whether any independent contractors working on the uncompleted Death Star were innocent victims when the rebels destroyed it."
        - Dante Hicks

For a six-movie series, the background is murky. Here's an advanced galactic culture, running with all the political sophistication of 10th century Japan. Where's law enforcement? Who are these knights? How does the political system work? How do the planets work together? The audience hasn't got a clue, nor has Lucas. We, like the creator, are supposed to stare at the world with the benumbed, clueless incuriosity of Japanese peasants living under the Samurai. Don't ask questions: don't attempt to understand... What was the Force? What was the Empire? What was the conflict really about?
        - Carl Marsh, on the Star Wars series

This particular trailer featured an awful lot of Anakin and Amidala mooning over each other in a forbidden-teen-love kind of way. My initial reaction was "My God, they're making Anakin's Creek!"
        - Charles Kuffner, previewing "Attack of the Clones" on "Off the Kuff"

This past year a refurbished Star Wars seemed to be everywhere, but I have no intention of revisiting any galaxy. I shrivel inside each time it is mentioned. Twenty years ago, when the film was first shown, it had a freshness; also a sense of moral good and fun. But then I began to be uneasy at the influence it might be having. The bad penny first dropped in San Francisco when a sweet-faced boy of twelve told me proudly that he had seen Star Wars over a hundred times. His elegant mother nodded with approval. Looking into the boy's eyes, I thought I detected little star-shells of madness beginning to form, and I guessed that one day they would explode. "I would love you to do something for me," I said. "Anything! Anything!" the boy replied rapturously. "You won't like what I'm going to ask you to do," I said. "Anything, sir, anything!" "Well," I said, "do you think you could promise never to see Star Wars again?" He burst into tears. His mother drew herself up to an immense height. "What a dreadful thing to say to a child!" she barked, and dragged the poor kid away. Maybe she was right, but I just hope the lad, now in his thirties, is not living in a fantasy world of secondhand, childish banalities.
        - Sir Alec Guinness, interviewed in "The Telegraph"


"What would you know about conscience?"
"Only what I've read."
        - Avon

"Do you agree?"
"Do I have a choice?"
"Then I agree."
        - Blake & Avon

"What did I do to deserve this?"
"How long a list would you like?"
        - Vila & Avon

"You've decided to be led like the rest of us?"
"I shall continue to follow. It's not quite the same thing."
"I don't see the difference."
"I didn't really think that you would."
        - Vila & Avon

"We could be up to our armpits in homicidal maniacs within the hour."
        - Vila

"I presume you have no tedious scruples about cheating and lying."
"None at all."
"Oh good."
        - Avon & Tarrant

"Do you really think that you can dock us?"
"I hadn't really considered it."
"I thought we'd all be dead by now."
        - Avon & Tarrant

"You are a cautious man, Avon."
"Well, that's a habit I'm hoping to live with."
        - Avon, "Blake's Seven"

"It's a question of intelligence, so your opinion has very little relevance."

"On Earth it is considered ill mannered to kill your friends while committing suicide."

"I have never taken things on trust. I see no reason to make an exception in the case of a mysterious area of danger."

"They don't like humanoids in general and homo sapiens in particular. That puts their intelligence in no doubt."
        - Avon


To be oneself is a rare thing, and a great one.
        - Ursula Le Guin, "Earthsea"

When it rained Ogion would not even say the spell that every weather-worker knows, to send the storm aside. In a land where sorcerers come thick, like Gont or the Enlades, you may see a raincloud blundering slowly from side to side and place to place as one spell shunts it on to the next, till at last it is buffeted out over the sea where it can rain in peace. But Ogion let the rain fall where it would. Ged crouched among the dripping bushes wet and sullen, and wondered what was the use of having power if you were too wise to use it.
        - Narration, "A Wizard of Earthsea"

"To light a candle is to cast a shadow."
        - the Master Hand, explaining 'Equilibrium', "A Wizard of Earthsea"

"The wise don't need to ask, the fool asks in vain."
        - Ged learns not to ask a townsman of Thwil for directions, "A Wizard of Earthsea"

The tricks of illusion came to him so easily that it seemed he had been born knowing them and needed only to be reminded.
        - Narration, "A Wizard of Earthsea"

"I had forgotten how much light there is in the world, till you gave it back to me."
       - A grateful old man thanks Ged for saving his sight, "A Wizard of Earthsea"

"I am yours, by parentage and custom and by duty undertaken towards you. I am your wizard. But it is time that you recalled that, though I am a servant, I am not your servant."
        - Vetch, seeking leave to undertake a perilous quest, "A Wizard of Earthsea"

"It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters, in the end."
        - Ursula K. Le Guin, "The Left Hand of Darkness"

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