NORTHERN EXPOSURE QUOTES - SEASON SIX

6.1

Put down that ferret.  I didn't come up here to kill an innocent animal.  Put it down!
        - Maurice threatens Ed

I lost everything tonight.  My life savings, my job, my self esteem.  But I feel somehow ennobled, like I've been through fire, like I've been forged, tempered.
        - Maurice

I don't want this life!  I'd rather practice medicine in some hick rural outback than stay here another minute!
        - Joel comes back to reality

6.2

"It's not always black and white, Ed.  It rarely is.  It's not our job to judge.  We're hired eyes.  Eyes, and eyes only.  A word of advice?
"Sure."
"Don't play God."
        - Renaldo, the PI, to Ed

6.3

"In Biblical times they would have a high priest and he would symbolically place all of the sins of the entire community on the head of a goat and drive it off into the desert, which is where we get the term scapegoat I believe.  There is a saying, on Rosh Hashan it is written, on Yom Kippur it is sealed."
"That's a great story Dr. Fleishman.  That's right up there with 'Tale of the Otter People.'"
        - Joel and Ed discuss Yom Kippur

"Open unto us the gates of mercy O God before the closing of the gates. Yea, the day vanishes, the sun is setting, let us enter thy gates.  May the Lord bless your going out and your coming in.  From this time forth and forever."
        - Rabbi recites prayer as Joel watches the sunset

6.6

"Let me tell you what Marx's mother said. 'If Karl, instead of writing about capital, had made some capital, things would have been much better'."
      - Ruth Anne to Lenin

6.7

"OK, excuse me. I just need a little break from you Fleischman."
        - Maggie, trapped on a grounded plane beside Joel

"Electron, that's negative. Proton, positive. Not a value judgment, just tagged that way to keep them straight."
        - Chris on the air, discussing electricity

"Ladies and gentlemen, today we're here to honor electricity, the charge that charges everything from those electrons snapping in our brain to our father the sun.  What's the sun?  It's kind of like a brain.  Electromagnetic field, solar flares sparking back and forth from those nerve cells.  We're all one,
folks, giant blobs of electricity, all of us.  Positive & negative, electromagnetic fields just circling each other.  Positive, negative, north, south, male and female.  Looking for that electric moment.  Magnet to magnet, opposites attract."
        - Chris

6.8

"Hey, wait a minute, listen to us. Fleischman, O'Connell, O'Connell, Fleischman. We're living together and we're still calling each other by our last names! ...It's kind of ridiculous, don't you think?"
"It is, it's like we're in high school or something."
"So what do you say? Joel?"
"Maggie?"
"Joel."
"Maggie."
     - Maggie and Joel practice using first names

*bang*
"Was that my gun? That's so weird! ...I was sure I had the safety on. I did!"
"That gun is loaded? You're telling me you keep a loaded gun in the bedroom?"
"This is Alaska, Fleischman."
        - Firearms discharge when Maggie and Joel get together

"Ah! Oh my God, what's that?"
"Get down! Get down! It's a drive-by!"
"...I don't know what happened. I was just walking by. I didn't even touch the trigger."
        - Maggie and Joel, after Hayden's rifle inadvertently goes off

"Well, we did manage to consummate the act. However, I have to admit, it was not my finest hour. Focusing on lovemaking is not too easy when you're waiting for small arms fire, if you know what I mean."
        - Joel to Ed

"Here you are, guy from New York city.  You're tanning hides, you're out spearing fish, drying salmon, and me, the guy who was born here, what do I know?  All I know is who took top honors at the Banff Film festival."
        - Ed to Joel

"It happened again. Do you realize that every single time that you and I are physically intimate, a gun goes off? ...I know, there was a time that I never would entertain a notion like this, but I don't know what to say. Here we are. This is not a coincidence. Twice is a coincidence. Three times is, well, you know, three times is, as far as I'm concerned, by design. And even if it happened two times out of a hundred, I think this is completely unacceptable. It's bizarre."
        - Joel, detecting a pattern

"We just moved in together. We just need time to get used to each other, that's all... You don't have to make excuses with me, I'm not expecting the Kama Sutra."
        - Maggie to Joel

"Look, if there is a connection between you and me and cordite, I think that's kinda fun!"
        - Maggie to Joel

"God, this is so like you. You know, everything has to be so controlled and so safe. What is the point in living life like that?"
"The point? Well, how about getting to your 85th birthday with all your limbs intact and without a metal plate in your head? How's that?"
        - Maggie and Joel

"Couples fight. It's so clear to me. That's all. That's just what we have to understand. Fighting is part of the process... See, that is how couples get to know each other is through conflict, right? There'd be no growth in relationships if people were only nice to each other... I know, really, I know, I gotta relax, and I gotta be, just, more open to what comes down the pike."
        - Joel, unprepared for Maggie's sledgehammer

"Joel, you exhaust me. There's just too much of you. And it's always working so hard... Look, you hold on to everything so tightly that your knuckles are white, and I need somebody who can let go a little. Maybe some distance and some time? This is not the way I want it to be. Maybe we could try this again."
        - Maggie

"Ed, will you take a message for me? Tell Maggie that there's not a day that goes that I don't think about her."
        - Joel, gone 'Up River'

6.9

"It's amazing isn't it? All this life?"
"Too much maybe.  Not too much, just lots."
"Give yourself some time.  Listen.  You hear that?  That's a sound we never heard in Los Angeles.  Silence.  Isn't that something!"
        - Phil and Michelle

"Chris, if you had the power to go back and change the future, would you?  Just
say you could go up to Bruce Willis and say, 'Don't make Hudson Hawk'."
"You'd be messing with the space-time continuum.  You pull one string, you never know, the whole crazy quilt might unravel."
"Yeah, the prime directive from Starfleet Command ó do not change history."
         - Ed & Chris

6.11

"I'm worried about Joel.  I'm concerned."
"You mean, because all your other boyfriends died such an untimely death?"
        - Maggie and Holling

"I'm grateful to you.  If it weren't for you, I'd be in Cicely right now and I'd still be running that rat race, still locked in that commute.  Id be totally stressed, I'd be totally ignorant of what my life could be.  I'm happier now than I've ever been."
         - Joel to Maggie

6.13

"Debra Tannin said, 'men see the world as a battle to be won, women see it as a community to be preserved.'  I say, let the women fight it out for a while. I'm digging this noncompetitive groove."
         - Chris at the meeting

"For five years I've had to listen to you whine how you can't stand this place, how you can't wait to get back to New York, and now that you can, now that there's nothing holding you back, you're not going?"
         - Maggie to Joel

6.14

"I'm finished with men.  I don't need another MIA on my conscience."
         - Maggie, to her mom

"I think it's THEM.  Men.  They have no fortitude.  They're always dying or skipping our at the first hint of trouble.  Tell me this, who is left to pick up the pieces?  Ship the body?  Clean out the closets?  And they have the audacity to call us the weaker sex."
         - Maggie's Mom reacts to Maggie's lament

6.15

"Personal injury suit?  I don't believe you'd do this, Bernard!  You're a Republican!"
         - Maurice comments on Chris's lawsuit

"When I was a kid, I remember thinking that nothing was real.  It felt like a movie set, and if you turned your head fast enough, you'd catch God changing the scenery."
         - Joel to Maggie

"How do you keep the one you love?"
"You don't."
        - Joel answers Adam's riddle (Gustav the Gatekeeper)

"I used to think of all the billions of people in the world, and of all those people, how was I going to meet the right ones?  The right ones to be my friends, the right one to be my husband.  Now I just believe you meet the people you're supposed to meet."
        - Maggie to Joel

"New York...the jeweled city?"
        - Maggie, in disbelief

"New York is a state of mind."
         - Joel's postcard to Maggie

6.16

"If I ever have offspring, I'd want it ready made about 10 or 11 years old. A boy of hunting age."
         - Maurice to Shelly and Holling

6.18

"I want to tell you about the time my friend Chris Stevens flung a piano with a medieval siege weapon known as a trebuchet.  Chris is our local DJ, a self-taught, ex con, mail-order minister with a passion for the transcendent."
        - Ruth Anne

6.22

"You read Kierkegaard?"
"No.  I don't like the sound of his name."
        - Chris and young girl

"Hey, Walt, is it me, or is there anything crueler than a 13 year-old girl?  I know lifers in the joint who weren't so judgemental."
"Bad age, no doubt about it."
        - Chris and Walt

6.23

"I'm the teflon kid.  Dozens of chicks, nothing sticks."
         - Chris to Ed

"If they could see how the sun's setting fast,
And just like they say, nothing good ever lasts
Well, go on now and kiss it goodbye,
But hold onto your lover,
'Cause your heart's bound to die,
Go on now, and say goodbye to my town, to my town.
I can see the sun's going down on my town
Good night... good night..."

        - Iris DeMent sings "Our Town"

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Donít you miss Northern Exposure? Havenít you wondered how come, with hundreds of channels, we get endless reruns of Matlock and nothing but radio silence out of Cicely, Alaska, a sort of Buddhist Macondo and Arctic Circle New School where Darwin, Freud, Trotsky, Einstein, Sontag, and Napoleon could be counted on to show up in the middle of a gay wedding or an Albigensian heresy, where high modernism and pop culture went ice fishing once a week, in the deep waters of an all-night deli, for madeleine cookies, pickles, and a rib?
        - John Leonard, reviewing Rob Morrow's latest show "Numb3rs" in the "New York Metro"

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