ROSWELL SEASON TWO QUOTES

SKIN AND BONES

Max (voiceover): Well, I guess the natural place to start is...that I'm an alien...a hybrid, actually. You know, human DNA mixed with alien DNA...that kind of thing. Oh, I almost forgot. My sister Isabel and our friend Michael are also a little green around the gills.

Max : No rock stands a chance against Michael Guerin.
Michael : Our fearless leader.

Michael : You're our leader. Why don't you lead us?
Max : Fine! Crack some more rocks.

Liz : I'm not a dork. I just enjoy science.

Maria : Why? Because you're destined to be with Isabel?
Michael : No. I don't buy that. Because I'm destined to be the soldier, and a soldier can't have some chick at home waiting for him.
Maria : Michael, half the movies ever made are about soldiers with chicks waiting at home for them.

ASK NOT

Michael : You said he mentioned another alien. What exactly did he say?
Max : He said that we were all in danger... that the skins were among us.

Maria : It is just a matter of time before you weaken.
Liz : Thank you.
Maria : It's not a dig. It's just a fact. You are in love with him. You can't live without him, and you're going to get back together with him.

Tess : Kind of uptight about nudity, aren't you, for a guy who reads Jugs? Kyle : Give me that!
Tess : Oh...the post-its? Nice touch.

Tess : "Buddhism for Beginners" is also under your bed. How do you think the Buddha would feel about being sandwiched between Hustler and Busty Biker Babes?

SUMMER OF '47

Hal (to Michael) : You ever heard of Omaha Beach, or the B1 Flying Bomb, Yalta, Jane Russell?

THE END OF THE WORLD

Liz : Max keeps coming to my window and telling me he wants to be with me again, but I know it's... it can never work out.
Alex : Isabel, she gave me another one of those "Alex, you're such a great friend" speeches. It made me want to puke.
Maria : I have Michael Guerin. He's mine. You should have seen his face when he apologized to me. His eyes were practically begging me to take his sorry ass back. I have so landed him for once and for all... I think.

Future Max : 3... 2... 1.
Liz : Well?
Future Max : I said approximately.

Liz : Hi.
Kyle : Well, you here for a reason, or you just rushed right over 'cause you sensed I might be experiencing some actual joy?

Michael (to Alex) : "You realize that you just risked your life?Youre a really good friend, man."

HARVEST

Maria : We're asking the questions here, ok? Now, why are you in Roswell? Where's the rest of your evil army? And most of all, why are you obsessed with my good-looking, if badly groomed boyfriend?
Courtney : I'm not obsessed with him, ok? I follow him in the... political sense.

Courtney : We're not with the other skins. We're renegades who believe that if you (Michael) were in charge instead of Max in the first place, that none of this would have ever happened.
Michael : What are you talking about? In charge of what?
Courtney : Our planet, Michael. You don't remember any of this, do you?

Courtney : The short version is that our planet was on the brink of a golden age, and then it all fell apart. You were the one who could have united our planet, pulled together the warring factions, brought peace. But you weren't on the throne.
Michael : Max.
Courtney : You wouldn't betray him. That loyalty cost your lives and those of everyone you loved. Please, just don't let history repeat itself. You're the one we need. You're our leader, our salvation.
Maria : Michael, if you can hear me now over the sound of your rapidly inflating ego, could you please tell me that you do not believe what this...this Michael-worshipper here has to say?

Tess : So... you and Kyle.
Liz : Yeah. Oh, Kyle... he told me that you two were, uh, getting involved.
Tess : Oh, it's ok, don't worry about it.
Liz : I'm sorry.
Tess : About what? All you did was sleep with him. How was he, anyway?
Liz : Oh, I, um... I... we... it was great.
Tess : Noted.

WIPE OUT

Maria : Ok. We've got ginko, bee pollen, echinacea, C, D, E, calcium, St. John's wort, and Pamprin... What? I was dating Michael Guerin.

Sheriff : I remember the first time you tied your own shoes... and when we, uh... we took the training wheels off of your bike.
Kyle : Ok, pop, knock it off.

Kyle : What about me?
Max : You're not someone I trust. Let's move.

Liz : I can't leave it like this.
Maria : Excuse me?
Liz : Max. No, I walked out on him without explaining what happened between you and me.
Maria : Huh?
Liz : I didn't even say good-bye.
Kyle : Look, you've got a job to do. Max has got a job to do. When everybody's done with their job, you can make nice.
Liz : He'll never know.
Kyle : He's Max. He'll always know. Right?

Maria : So how does electricity work?
Kyle : Why are you lookin' at me? We were both in the same remedial science class for 3 years.

Nicholas (to Michael) : By the way, love the hair. Hope you win.

MEET THE DUPES

Max : What are you running from?
Isabel : I'm just getting in shape.
Max : Since when? Your only exercise used to be the escalator at the mall.

Lonnie : Well, they made one batch and didn't get it quite right, so...they made another.
Michael : So you guys are, like, defective.
Lonnie : Actually, you're the defectives.

Alex : Ladies, uh...frosty beverage?
Lonnie : No 3 ways tonight, opie. Maybe later.

Brody : Well, just things... missing moments of time, bizarre dreams I can't remember in the morning. It all reminds me of the last time. So, if I... suddenly disappear for a couple of days, it's nothing personal. I've just been abducted.

MAX IN THE CITY

Max : What do I know about war and peace and politics? I'm gonna blow it. I'm gonna sit down at this meeting and I'm gonna meet these people, and they're gonna look at me and they're gonna see this kid from New Mexico who hasn't got a clue...

Tess : This is where you belong, Max... up here with the world at your feet. Like a king.

Nicholas : Royal rejects is more like it.
Rath : Hey, yo, get this straight. We are the originals. They are the rejects.
Nicholas : Ha. Uh, gee...they were carefully hidden away in Roswell and got custody of the granilith. You were dumped in the sewer. Figure that out.

Nicholas : Nice to see your genocidal girlfriend again. Killed anyone today?
Tess : Days not over.

A ROSWELL CHRISTMAS CAROL

Michael : Come on, Maxwell. Just pick a tree. It's freezing out here.
Max :It's not so simple. This tree's got to fall within certain parameters.
Michael : Parameters?
Max : Height, circumference, color, density of foliage. Look at this diagram. You know how Isabel gets this time of year.
Michael : The Christmas Nazi, driving everyone insane while trying to have the perfect Christmas. The worst thing you can do is play into it, Max. You've got to fight her. You've got to fight the Christmas Nazi.

Isabel : Max. This is, by far, the most pathetic Christmas tree I have ever seen. Did you even refer to my diagram?

Kyle : His mind and body are in deep conflict. When one's heart and one's mind are not in balance, one's body is the first to fail... What?
Sheriff : I'm very concerned that you're starting to make sense to me.
Kyle : All I'm saying is that if the guy can't visualize his journey to the goal, he has no chance of taking the rock downtown.

Isabel : Hi, everyone. Welcome to this year's holiday pageant. I'm Isabel Evans. Some of you know me as the director of this pageant, others may know me as the president of the hunger drive, and still others might know me from the many holiday events at the nursing home, and some of you know me as the Christmas Nazi... But enough about me. Let's feast our eyes on the cutest darn kids in America.

VIVA LAS VEGAS

Michael (to Liz): No lecturing, no moralizing, no whining about spending money on the homeless. This weekend it's about fun and debauchery. You got it?

Maria : Do you know were I was tonight? I was auditioning to be a stripper. Little innocent me.
Michael : Did you get the job?

Valenti : So you skipped school. Missing class is excusable if it involves saving a planet - yours, mine, or any other. It is not acceptable if it is done in the name of under-age gambling. Is that clear? Each one of your parents is going to hear from me later today. I expect you back in Roswell this afternoon. Kyle, get in the car.
Kyle : I was up $1600.
Valenti : Now!

Michael : I'm glad I'm adopted.
Tess : Yeah, me too.
Valenti : Tess! Don't make me come back in there.

Michael : Braveheart.
Max : How many times can you watch that thing?
Michael : Im still trying to get an accurate body count.

CRY YOUR NAME

Max : You can't compare The Matrix to Crouching Tiger.
Michael : Crappy Tiger is a chick flick with kung-fu.
Max : First of all, Crappy... Crouching Tiger is actually about something. Love. Honor. Trust.
Michael :: Matrix is about something. Illusion, reality, gunfire.
Max: You simply can't prefer Keanu Reeves to Michelle Yeoh. You can't... I won't let you.

ITS TOO LATE AND ITS TOO BAD

Tess : You see that star, the way it wobbles?
Max : Is that our planet?
Tess : No, it's called Barnard's star. You can see that star from our planet, too. Our           world's out there, Max. It's not close, and sometimes it seems like a dream to me, too,
but it's real, and I know you know that, too. That's reality, Max. This... this is the dream.

Max : You think we have something to do with it?
Michael : I have no idea. I just wouldn't want our leader to be forming opinions based           on what he wants to be true instead of what really is true. Anyway...
Max : Michael. The idea that Alex might have died just because we're here... I can't bear it. All those times you would run off chasing some clue to find out where we come from. Why we're here. Where we belong. I always thought you were chasing something that wasn't out there, because in my heart, I believed that we belonged here, you  know? That we were human. Lately, I've been thinking that you might have been right all along.
Michael : Lately, I've been thinking I might have been wrong all along.

Maria : One day you're gonna leave me. You're gonna get on a spaceship and go away, and you being the perfect boyfriend right now is really not helping me. I can't lose anyone else, Michael. My heart can't handle it.

Isabel : So, I'll change dollar bills into hundreds.
Michael : You can do that?

Max : Isabel... Isabel, if I have to, I will do everything in my power to keep you here. I           will tell our parents you have a drug problem. I will notify your teachers that you have           cheated on every test for the last 3 years. If you ever leave Roswell without my consent, I will physically drag you back. For the last time, the answer is no. Period.
Isabel : You're killing me.
Max : You let it get this far.
Isabel  : Fine. This Isabel Evans is dead. You want to be the leader? See how it works without any followers.

Michael (to Maria): We've been through some rough stuff lately. The thing is, you're right. I can't really imagine it happening, but I am gonna leave someday. It could be a
year, or 2, or 50. But I'm gonna leave. It sucks. It's the choice we made to be together. But there is one thing that I can promise you, and that is that I can give you now.

BABY IT'S YOU

(Rough Translation of Tess' Book)
You are the royal four. Zan the king. Ava his queen. Vilandra his sister. Rath his councilor. You were created from the genetic material of your alien predecessors and human subjects. You were given human form so that you cauld live safely on the planet undectected until the time comes for your return. You have also been given communication technology, which will allow you to access information from your true home. The chamber contains your hibernation pods and the commicators have been hidden from human settlement. It can only be accessed by the four of you. You have been proviced with a guardian who will protect you from danger and keep you hidden from your enemies both human...

DEPARTURE

Liz : I-I trusted you, I gave you everything. I jumped off bridges for you, I broke laws for you, I risked getting shot for you, I trusted you! And you go off -  God, with Tess - God, I saved myself for you!

Michael: There's a lot about you Maria. There's a lot about you, but I think what means the most to me is that you're open. You know I can look into your eyes and I can see you. I can see what you're thinking. I can see what you're feeling. How much I mean to you sometimes, how much I piss you off sometimes. But I can always see you.
Maria: I see you too.
Michael: No, no you don't see me. You know when Max and Liz would kiss, and Liz would get the flashes? And when we would kiss you didn't. I know how much that hurt you.
Maria: That doesn't matter to me anymore Michael.
Michael: The reason you didn't get the flashes is because I didn't let you get them. I didn't let you see me. I've never let anyone see me before... because there are things inside of me that I don't want people to see. There's things inside of me that I'm not so proud of. But I've thought about it, and I want you to see me.

Liz: I guess that this is our goodbye. Just tell me one thing do you love her?
Max: Not like I love you.

Isabel: What if I said I wanted to stay?
Max: When we came out of the pods and we lost Michael, it was just the two of us in the desert and I knew that I wasn't alone - that I had my sister. To me, earth isn't home and whatever's out there isn't home but you're my home.

Isabel: We want you to know that we love you so much. We're orphans, we could have ended up anywhere, with anyone, but we got you. What is it they say? There but for the grace of god. I'm sorry, I'm sorry to leave you, but we have to go. I wish we didn't, I wish I could just be your girl for ever, but um...
Max: You were great parents to us. We will always, always love you. Thank you, for everything. And goodbye.

Michael: Max.... I can't go. Ever since we came out of the pods, I've been on some quest to figure out where I belong. I finally found home. The weird thing is, it's here, it's on earth.
Max: You of all people. Take care of yourself Michael. I love you.
Michael: You're a great brother.
Max: Take care of the others.

Max: This was all some kind of plan to get pregnant and go home, wasn't it?
Home to what, Tess? To Kivar? To our enemies?
Tess: They're not my enemies, Max.
Max: You made a deal with them, with Kivar.
Tess: No, Nasedo made a deal, 40 years ago.
Max: What was the deal? Tell me!
Tess: To return home with your child, and deliver the three of you to Kivar.
Max: And what would happen to us once you delivered us? ...How did I ever fall in love with someone like you? How could I ever marry you?
Tess: You were different - you were a king! Now you're just a boy.

Max (to Liz): I've been really wrong about a lot. But I was right about one thing: To get you into my life, to be around you, to love you.

# EXTRAS

These are the lyrics to "I Want an Alien for Christmas" by the Fountains of Wayne... seems appropriate to Roswell :

This year for christmas, there's something I'd really like
So if you're up there somewhere Santa, please don't bring me another bike
I don't need any ugly sweaters and I don't play much basketball
But there's something kinda special that I want most of all

I want an alien for christmas, bring me an alien this year
I want a little green guy about 3 feet high, with 17 eyes, who knows how to fly

He can live in the bath-tub so don't worry about a thing
And I'll take him out for walks when it gets nicer in the spring
I'll always keep him company, he'll never be alone
And we can hang around the house all day and watch The Twilight Zone

I want an alien for christmas, bring me an alien this year
I want a little green guy about 3 feet high, with 17 eyes, who knows how to fly

#

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