Young Americans is a Dawson's Creek spin-off which graced American TV screens in the summer of 2000. Alas, it only lasted 8 episodes, but this should introduce you to its bizarre, almost Shakespearean world :

"This is, certainly, one of the strangest shows I've seen on TV. Scout (whose name makes it impossible for me not to giggle every time I hear it) is a rich young student who falls in love with Bella, a town girl, only to find out that his Dad was playing the same game years ahead of him, and Bella is really his sister. Creepy. Especially since he can't stop gawking at her and following her around, even long after he knows. I'm surprised that no one's screaming bloody murder about this plotline. Maybe I'm the only one watching this show.
He and his roomate Will, another town kid, are unnaturally close for a couple of guys who don't really know each other that well. Will is a POET and a WRITER (it seems like those should be capitalized) who's poor, but he really deserves a good education, so everyone is swell and gives him one. Then there's Hamilton, who is the Dean's kid, and he falls in love with Jake, not realizing that Jake is, conveniently, a girl, who's cross-dressing to attend Rawley Academy to... upset her mother. Which had to be the lamest excuse I've heard for tom-boy-ism ever. And I've heard quite a few.
Needless to say, I'm watching this show if they continue it. I'm not sure if I'm fascinated or bothered. Or both."
        - Steph Mineart, "CommonPlaceBook.Com"


"What, you need directions? Oh, the way to Rawley, right? Let's see. It's right up the road. Just follow your nose. It smells just like money."
"Okay. Actually, I um, I just wanted to pay for these."

        - Bella to Scout

"I'm this year's charity case."
        - Will

"You're humiliated? I live here, I know these people!"
        - Will

"I'm like a Swiss vault. I can keep a secret."
        - Hamilton

"You know how many guys have sat right where you're  sitting? Don't think for a minute anyone one of them wouldn't trade their seat on the New York Stock Exchange to be 15 again, have all their dreams intact and the possibilities of the universe at their fingertips. The sound you should be hearing is opportunity. So make the most of it. Exceed expectations."
        - Finn

"Pardon my overly revealing nature."
        - Bella

"You're like this Fresh Prince of South Hampton kind of guy who I'm sure always gets what he wants."
"I have no clue what I want."
        - Bella and Scout

"Ever heard of Hobbes?"
"As in 'Calvin and' or the philosopher?"
        - Finn and Will

"I couldn't decide between obsessive compulsive or cool and disinterested."
"I always thought cool and disinterested was over-rated."
        - Scout and Bella

"He thinks guys like you use girls like me, for sex."
"That's so stupid. I mean I --"
"So you don't wanna have sex with me?"
        - Bella and Scout

"I was thinking, is the guy I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with? Oh my God! I can't believe I just said that! ...I am so humiliated. I've known you for all of what 5 minutes and now I sound like someone out of a Jane Austen novel."
        - Bella to Scout

The problem is, like there's total miscommunication between guys and girls. When a girl says, "I really, really like you," what she means is, "I'm ready for a commitment, are you?" but when a guy says, "I really, really like you," what he means is, "I wanna have sex with you."
        - Hamilton to Jake

"You asked me to write an essay telling you what I have to say, and what I realized is that I've been ordered to listen from the moment I was born, but now I know it's my time to speak. What I figured out is that I've always seen myself as others have seen me. This poor kid, this smart kid, this dreamer who doesn't have a chance... so now that it's my time to speak, I just hope I have something to say."
        - Will

"Oh my God, I think I'm a gay."
        - Hamilton (to himself)

"I guess good looks run in the family."
        - Bella

"I thought of a good one the other day. It was um, bell bottoms to straight leg and back to bells again."
"Oh, um, 30 years?"
"Uh, 500 years?"
"Overcoming the loss of a true love?"
        - Scout and Bella

"I used to sit across at that dock over there and I used to look over here at the perfect lawns, the perfect building, the perfect people, the perfect life! I swear, I just wanted to be a part of something that wasn't meant for me!"
        - Will

"And so, our adventure begins. We find our heroes, and we uncover our fears, and sometimes, we triumph."
        - Will, closing voiceover


"Is it going to weird between you two?"
"I hope not because I really like her, I mean, as a friend."
"That's good, you know since dating your sister isn't socially acceptable."
        - Will and Scout

"It's so Jerry Springer."
        - Will

"Never seen someone so excited about minimum wage."
"What? I promised my father I'd get a summer job. It's character building."
"That's funny. That never occurred to us poor kids."
        - Bella, Scout and Will

"When you kissed me, I could've decked you but I didn't, but if you ever try that again, I will."
        - Hamilton, to Jake

"Oh look, Scout Calhoun's poor twin."
        - Bella

"What are you doing here, community service for stealing your dad's Ferrari?"
        - Sean, to Scout

"It's 9 o'clock. Felicity comes on. He never misses an episode."
"What are you doing? God, Ben's in love with you, not her!"
        - Hamilton, evading the groundskeeper

"There's better out there, that's all I'm saying."
"Is it?"
        - Scout and Bella

"Who the hell are you?"
"Just some townies, sir."
        - Kyle and Scout


"Maybe it's because I'm young.  Maybe it's because it's summer. Maybe it's because I'm at Rawley.  There are some days you just feel so lucky to where you are, when you are, and who you are, and you can't help wondering if everyone else feels as lucky as you do."
        - Will, opening voiceover

"Who's life is this?"
        - Will, going for a ride on Paige's jetski

"She's a friend of the family's."
"You don't have to say that."
"I know."
"I think she likes you.  So you should ask her out."
"You don't have to say that."
"I know."
        - Scout and Bella discuss Paige

"So, what's it like in LA?"
"Nothing's indigenous.  Even the palm trees are brought in.  I always wanted to say that it's from the The Way we Were."
        - Hamilton and Lena

"You know, you look exactly like my ex-boyfriend."
"I hope that's a compliment."
        - Lena and Jake

"If you're not gonna go for it because of Bella, that's pretty lame."
"I grew up with Paige.  I've always thought of her as more of a sister."
"Life's so weird."
        - Will and Scout

"Tell us Harry, why are you here at Rawley?"
"I... I guess to go to school."
"Harry Johnson, future suicide."
        - Ryder and Harry

"You are a useless individual, aren't you?"
"Yeah.  But I'm great fun."
        - Will and Ryder

"Can you keep a secret?"
"Oh yeah."
"I've been in love with Scout Calhoun since I was like five years old.  I have Dr. Seuss books with 'Paige Calhoun' scribbled all over them.  I want him to be my first."
        - Paige and Bella

"You thinking of staging a revolution?"
" No. Not tonight anyway."
        - Scout and Will

"You've gotta tell me everything.  Do you think he likes me?  I thought I got those vibes, but am I confusing signals?  He's so hard to read.  But that's kind of what I like about him."
        - Lena prods Hamilton for information about Jake

"Are you at least gonna kiss me?"
        - Paige and Scout

"It means Bella is very special, and you just better treat her right."
"Screw you, who do you think you are to tell me how to treat Bella?  What are you, her brother?"
        - Scout and Sean

"I was with Scout but it was like we were never alone. It's almsotas if there was someone else sitting in the car with us. Does that make any sense?"
"Maybe he just takes a little while to warm up."
"He's a 15 year old guy sitting in a car with a girl at a drive in.  There's either someone else in the picture or he's been hurt during the war.  And there's been no war."
        - Paige and Bella

"You know this is getting really boring.  Why can't you just be happy for me, why?"
"Because he's not the kind of guy I see you with."
"You keep saying that.  So, what kind of guy do you see me with, exactly?... That's what I thought.  We can't see each other any more."
"What are you talking about?  I was just worried about you like a brother."
"Oh, OK. Then tell me, you're with this beautiful smart girl last night.  How did it go?  Did you enjoy it?  Did you even kiss her? ...We're not going down this road again.  Goodbye Scout."
        - Bella and Scout

"What isn't wrong with this picture."
        - Jake

"So now, you're the one with the moral dilemma.  You're the one with all of the learning, the lectures, the philosophy.  You're the grown-up.  You go and decide what's right and wrong."
        - Will to Finn

"I like you Scout.  I've always liked you."
"Thank you Paige."
"I'm just telling you because I don't believe in wasting time, yours or mine.  Are you just not interested in me?"
        - Paige and Scout

"It isn't about you.  It's kind of a timing thing."
"So I guess I won't be seeing you this weekend. Fair enough.  See, wasn't that easier than a bunch of bad dates that ultimately led no where?"
        - Scout and Paige

"I hope you understand, and I hope you know how deeply impressed I am that you had the courage to do this, because I sure wouldn't."
"I should have listened to Hamilton. He said this was a bad idea."
"He did?"
"Yeah, I think he was jealous."
"I guess he likes you."
"No, I think he likes you."
        - Jake and Lena

"You wanna walk to the lake?  I'll teach you how to skip a stone."
"Scout, I know how to skip a stone."
"Ok. Then you can show me, cause I don't.  Come on, give me half an hour, I'll have you home before dinner."
        - Scout and Bella

"When I was little I had this idea that life could be perfect, that if you were careful enough, you'd never make a mistake, never be lonely, never be misunderstood, never be frightened.  But it doesn't work that way. Life is big and messy and you just have to climb in it with your boots on and hope for the best.  Like Thoreau said, heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads.  And at the end of the day, I have to say, I still feel pretty lucky to be here."
        - Will, closing voiceover


"Rawley Academy.  I still can't believe I'm here.  This setting, these people, this world where dreams really do come true.  A place where a guy from the wrong side of the tracks lives the life of a prince.  What else could I hope for?  See Caroline walking across the lawn.  What else could I hope for.  A princess, naturally."
        - Will, opening voiceover

"Scout, I've got one word for you: Cotillion."
" Paige, would you like to be my date for the Cotillion?"
"Never accept a date for Friday on a Thursday afternoon."
        - Paige, asking Scout to ask her to the dance

"So, are you renting or do you own?"
"Oh, for the Cotillion?  I'm gonna do the dinner jacket thing.  you know, like Boagie in Casablanca."
        - Jake and Hamilton

"Um, why don't we just go solo together?"
"Yeah, ok."
"Great.  It's a date."
        - Jake and Hamilton

"What's going on Will, you used to laugh at these people."
"I know. But who cares, you'll be there with me.  So will Scout, so will Paige. With the right dress, a little soap and water, your hair in one of those thingies.  Come on, you'd be so hot, please? Two townies, in the night, amisdt a see of privilege, me and you twirling the night away."
        - Will asks Bella to be his 'distraction-date' for the Cotillion

"I'm going to Rawley's Cotillion."
"Are you waitressing?"
        - Bella and Grace

"Cotillion or eloping?"
"Well, if the Cotillion goes well, maybe both."
        - Finn and Will

"So, who you going to the dance with?"
"No one."
"You're not taking Jake?"
"No.  Why would I take Jake?"
"I don't know, I mean, I was gonna ask him but he doesn't seem like he's intested in either one of us."
"What are you talking about?"
        - Lena and Hamilton

"Look at you, you are good to go buddy."
"You think she's gonna want me bad?"
"That's my sister you're talking about."
"I mean Caroline."
        - Scout and Will prepare

"Jake, I've got a crush on him too. Hell, I'm a 15 year old girl, I've got a crush on you. Look at you, you're gorgeous, you both are, You're also in love with each other, its like its so obvious."
"Wait, we're not, and stop saying that, god."
        - Lena and Hamilton, at the dance

"Maybe later you'll save a dance for your sister? I mean of course if Paige doesn't mind. ...Is this what it's like to be you?"
        - Bella to Scout

"Bella, do you ever pretend-"
"-do you ever pretend that its not true, about us?"
        - Scout and Bella

"So, where are you from?"
"Planet Earth."
"I know what you mean, I've lived on three continents before I was twelve."
        - Caroline and Will

"Oh my god, that was-"
"I know, but this is not."
"It is, we're GAY."
"No, we're not Hamilton okay, I have, look I've got to tell you something alright, but you have to promise not to be pissed off at me alright? ...I'm a girl."
        - Hamilton and Jake, after they kiss

"So, my dad's in oil?"
"Well he is Bella, in a way..."
        - Bella and Will

"You didn't really give me a chance did you? LookWill if you trying to fit in with all the phonies around here, congratulations, you've succeeded."
        - Caroline


"I don't wanna see your face no more."
"That's so easy.  Lenny Kravitz, American Women.  All right, my turn."
        - Scout and Bella

"Hey, uh, about what happened at the Cotillion..."
"Paige think I'm scamming on her boyfriend?"
"She's confused.  I mean, she doesn't know the truth.  Neither do we."
"Scout, yes we do.  You're with Paige, I'm with Sean, and-"
"And that's the way it is."
        - Scout and Bella

"Scout's phone.  Oh, no he just left his phone over here, but I'm walking over to him right now.  This is Bella.  No, I don't work with him.  Nope, don't go to Rawley Girls.  Who may I ask is interrogating me? ...Oh, yeah, it's nice to meet you too."
        - Bella answers a call from Scout's father

"Hi. No, no dad, she's not my girlfriend."
        - Scout

"Last week the only time I thought I'd see you in a dress would be at the gay pride parade."
        - Hamilton, to Jake

"He likes you."
"Mom, I don't even know him."
        - Monica and Jake, about Hamilton

"Look, I'm no expert on dads.  But that's what you have, Bella.  A little piece of possibility.  Meeting Senator Calhoun wouldn't take anything away from what you have with Charlie."
        - Will to Bella

"I thought getting older would feel better than this."
        - Scout


"Hello? Earth to incest boy."
"That isn't funny Will."
        - Will to a distracted Scout

"Oh, by the way, Jake and Hamilton?"
"Oh yeah, definitely."
        - Scout and Will

"Oh no, definitely not."
"Yeah, they have no idea we're together."
        - Hamilton and Jake

"Hey, you know, you totally dig boys.  That's why you like me!"
        - Jake, messing with Hamilton's head

"Your accent's really starting to piss me off."
        - Will to Ryder

"It'll be fine.  Can you hotwire it?"
"You can hotwire too?  What are you, some kinda-"
"Townie?  Yes.  Get in."
        - Will, Scout and Bella 'borrow' Ryder's corvette

"I just stole a Corvette, I just stole a Corvette, I just stole a Corvette."
"Just breathe Woman."
        - Bella and Will, making their getaway

"You break into the car, hotwire it, but can't open the trunk?"
"I'm sorry my criminal skills aren't more well-rounded, Scout."
        - Scout and Bella

"Great.  Now we're all going to jail."
"Let me handle this.  I have a way with authority figures, they tend to like me."
"Yeah, well I have a way with the locals.  They tend not to think of me as a stuck up rich kid."
"You're right, I'm sure the local authorities know exactly who you are."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
        - Will and Scout

"I don't know anything. Since the day we found out, you've been putting up this brick wall."
"The reason it's not important, what I wrote in the letter,  is because I was never gonna send it. I wrote it for myself, Scout.  To get these feelings out."
"You mean, we've been running around on this wild goose chase because you just had to have a Dear Diary moment?  God Bella, how could you do this?"
"Now you know. Why I never tell you anything?  Why I've closed you out.  It's because you say things like that."
        - Scout and Bella

"As much as I'd love to hang around and play 'Taming of the Shrew' with you, I have a little situation with one of your more colorful locals."
        - Ryder to Bella

"Look, you're my best friend, Jake.  Sometimes you're my best guy friend when I'm with you at school,  and sometimes my girlfriend that I'm like totally in love with, and I don't know how to act either..."
"What did you just say?"
        - Hamilton and Jake

"Here's to outsmarting evil upper classmen."
"Here's to sweet-talking a cop while you're in a stolen Corvette."
        - Scout and Will celebrate

"Cute coat."
        - Jake to Bella


"When is the age or even the moment we go from being kids to being... something else. I mean, so much can happen in a year. People say that we're growing up way too fast. Sometimes adults make it sound like it's our fault. Or at least, our choice. But how can we not? We feel invincible. And we know so much. One thing I do know is that we're so eager to lose our innocence. And I wonder if one day we'll look back and wish we hadn't?"
        - Will, opening voiceover

"Will. You handed me a note in class and I smiled. That meant call me."
        - Caroline to Will

"I guess I didn't want to press my luck by actually talking to you."
        - Will

"So. You were playing it cool while someone else was keeping Caroline warm."
"You did not just say that."
        - Scout and Will

"Hey, cheap import."
        - Will to Ryder

"So, are they like... out?"
"They are now."
"Wow... that's bold."
        - Will and Scout discuss Jake and Hamilton

"What's up with them?"
"I don't know. They're very strange."
        - Hamilton and Jake discuss Will and Scout (discussing them)

"I'm moving in. I, my friend, am finally ditching the parentals and moving into the dorms."
"So, which room? Who's moving out?"
"Nobody's moving out. I'm moving in with Jake."
"You're moving *in* with Jake?"
        - Hamilton and Will

"Well. That's settled."
        - Scout, cue furious exchanges of money

"The thing with Scout... The thing with Scout and me is that... we're kind of... Sean.... Scout's my brother. My mom had an affair with his dad."
"You gotta be kidding me. Why didn't you tell me this before?"
"I haven't told anyone."
"I'm not anyone. And you're sure about all this?"
"Pretty sure."
"Look, you gotta do what you gotta do. But I'd have a hard time living with 'pretty sure'".
        - Bella and Sean

"I am earth, you are sky.  I gaze up to your light beauty.  The wind is your touch.
Gently, like small fingers dancing.  How can I hold the wind?"
        - Will's love sonnet to Caroline

"No one's ever written me a poem before."
"I'm sure they have...They just haven't given them to you."
        - Caroline and Will

"Guess they broke up."
"I'm kinda disappointed."
        - Scout and Will find out that Hamilton isn't moving in

"So you did this just to screw me."
"No, I did it to screw Caroline. Screwing you is just a fun by-product."
"Hey. I saved your ass and your car last week."
"That was last week. What have you done for me lately?"
"I made you a poet. I made Caroline think you have a heart."
        - Will confronts Ryder

"In fact ever since the first time I saw you, I thought... Never mind, if I'm wrong about this, I'll light myself on fire."
"What? Say it."
"I thought, why is this beautiful girl dressing like a guy?"
        - Bella and Jake

"Are you two like, totally in love? No wonder they all think you're gay."
        - Bella to Jake

"Scout. He's so... he's so cute. You guys... ?"
"Oh. No. We're just friends. Really good friends."
"Uh-huh. That's what I say about me and Hamilton"
        - Jake and Bella

"I came here to thank you, for giving me... a choice. I'm not ready to look up my mother. But I might be. I mean. At some point. If it weren't for you, I might not have that option."
"I'm glad my underhanded, self-serving behavior could do some good."
"Don't beat yourself up... That's my job."
        - Bella and Scout

"Maybe you should stay away from fancy imports. Date domestically."
"Well. If someone would ask me out already..."
        - Will and Caroline

"When exactly do we go from being kids to being... just people, I'm not sure. I do know that it's not about turning a certain age or graduating from school. It happens when we're not paying attention. We go from playing with out friends... to playing with out friends' feelings. Without our knowledge or consent, childhood slips away in the night. And our innocence escapes us. And we wake up one morning... to find we have become... who we are."
        - Will, closing voiceover


"Everyday the mystery of life unfolds and every night we go to sleep not quite sure if we solved it."
        - Will, opening voiceover

"Showering togetherís a big deal. Itís more like a freshmen year of college kinda thing."
"Be a great story for my freshmen year of college."
        - Jake and Hamilton

"Oh my God!"
        - A very confused Finn walks in on Jake and Hamilton

"Wait a minute; you have another secret other than this one?"
        - Hamilton and Jake

"Whatís up Will?"
"Hey. What the hell?"
"Jakeís a girl, theyíre not gay."
        - Hamilton, Will and Bella

"Writing your speech?"
"Kind of. Problem is Iím writing hers too."
        - Will and Bella

"You got a car?"
"No, I got a thumb."
        - Sean and Scout

"You wanna know something? When I was 8 years old I had the biggest crush on you. Yeah. Every time you came over and said hello Iíd blush so red that Iíd have to hide my face just so you wouldnít see it."
        - Bella confesses to Will

"Whatís Jake doing in a dress?"
"Sheís a girl."
"A what?"
"A GIRL!!!!"
"Oh Okay!"
        - Scout and EVERYONE

"Canít any of you guys keep a secret?"
"And this, coming from a guy who's masquerading as a gay with a guy whoís really a girl."
"And yeah, I admit, itís a pretty screwed up situation. Thanks for rubbing it in."
        - Hamilton and Will

"You know, thatís gonna bother me for a while."
        - Scout, on the Jake 'situation'

"And so our adventure ends and some of us find our heroes and others uncovered their fears and some might even say weíve triumphed. Iím not sure If it happened that day or that summer but somehow we all felt older and different. I knew Iíd never forget any of it. And I decided I wasnít gonna let it end because I realized weíre not just given life experiences, weíre given the experience of life."
        - Will, closing voiceover


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