Father Horan keeps telling me that in his heart he's still the same, but I don't believe him. He's not the same. I do all I can for him and I know he's as fond of me as ever, but he's not the man I married. He's not the man that wept with happiness every night on our honeymoon. He's not the man that cried himself to sleep the night I wouldn't talk to him for calling me a bitch.

He was stone mad about Michelle. One evening, I smelt fags off her and threatened to tell Michael. His lordship, of course, stood up for her and made all sorts of excuses. Wasn't she after coming from the pictures and the place full of smoke? Someone must've been smoking beside her in Supermacs. When I reminded him that smoking was banned, he just laughed it off. For an intelligent man, he could be as thick as a brick sometimes. She could have announced that she was expecting twins and he'd find some good in it. But maybe it was hard to blame him. She was like the daughter he always wanted. He loved Michael, of course. but I knew he was heartbroken when I couldn't have another. His face dropped when they told us. She was mad about him too. Grandad this, Grandad that. I was lucky to get a look-in at all. Still, she gave me a CD every Christmas and a card she painted herself. He kept his on the locker till I said, for God's sake, it's the middle of July. To Grandad, with all my love, Michelle. XXXXX.

A premonition. That's exactly what he called it. I knew what it meant but one night, just for pig iron, I said I'd look it up. Previous warning, notice or information. Anticipation of an event without conscious reason.

I was only too happy to oblige when they asked us. He, of course, was delighted. You'd think the president herself was coming. Off he trots down to Cushin's and arrives back with piles of comics, enough sweets to feed an orphanage. And a pair of slippers in the shape of bunny rabbits. I reminded him that she was nearly fifteen, but sure I might as well be talking to the wall. I nearly died when I found him up on the stepladder, plastering the room with posters of them boy bands. He even wanted to take out the holy water font, but I drew the line at that. I know it's dry for years but still.

Patricia had her spoilt rotten, but I suppose I was as bad myself with Michael. Anyway I don't think it does them one bit of harm. Look at all the cruelty in the world. Those poor Presbyterians on the news the other night. I've no time for the Jews at all. Wouldn't you think they would have learned something themselves? After all they went through in the concentration camps. What's this Michael said? continue