Finn Harps................United Irishmen
(and women) The Combined Adventures of the Mr Men and the FBTN
by Trevor Gordon

The Characters:
The Mr Men – The loveable but controversial members of the shed singing gang whose ‘Mr’ titles were spawned in an account of a memorable trip to Waterford for our first league game after relegation. Producers, editors, columnists, printers and distributors of the best fanzine in the eircom League. Generally thought to be to blame for everything that’s wrong at Finn Harps FC.

The FBTN – The loveable but controversial riff raff “From Behind The Nets” at Finn Park, best known for their love of alcoholic beverages, reducing opposition goalkeepers to near tears, drinking, a leather hats fetish, boozing, their love of Ciaran O Donnell and all things Donegal Democrat, and of course, being drunk. Generally thought to be the drunkest fans in Ireland.

The Mission:
They chose to accept it. Our heroes plan to join forces for the love of their country by taking part in the FAI initiative to get eircom League fans together to liven up the atmosphere at Landsdowne Road for Ireland’s vital Euro 2004 Qualifying matches with Albania and Georgia – and more importantly, to fly the flag for Finn Harps FC. Thanks to the involvement of some of the Mr Men with the organisers Finn Harps fans had been allocated over 40 tickets for the North Terrace eircom League fans section and were taking one of the biggest contingents of supporters of any clubs outside Dublin to join the Shamrock Rovers Ultras, the St Pats Shed End Invincibles and the Derry City Brandywell Pride SC among others to show the rest of the Nation’s bar stool fans what supporting a team at a game is really all about. And boasting as they do the top drummer in the LOI, the Harpsmen plan to do just that.

Saturday, 7th June 2003, Ireland vs Albania
This is it, after literally hours of careless and imprecise organisation, the gang are ready to go. Flags have been painted, tickets have been sorted, booze has been stockpiled and now takes up almost one third of the space on the Lafferys bus which has the unenviable task of taking some of Finn Harps most unbalanced supporters to Dublin. The man with an even less enviable task of course, Mr T is nervously silent, as he is responsible for getting these reprobates into the centre of Dublin in time to meet his contact who collected the 34 extra tickets from Merrion Square that morning. Due to the organisation of the eircom League fans section being based on returned tickets from the Albanian and Georgian allocations it was impossible for the extra tickets for the Harps fans (who did not already have block bookings) to be sent to Donegal. Instead they had to be collected at FAI HQ by 11.00am on matchday by a trusted Dublin Harp. The task of steering a rowdy gang of Harps fans to the capital is a daunting enough one at the best of times - but doing so without any tickets is, he begins to realise, a recipe for almost certain chaos. Nothing else for it but to crack open a can and attempt the already tricky feat while plastered.

The bus left Ballybofey at a sleepy 8.00am, but things are starting to liven up now, the beer (and wine) has been flowing and several punters are looking worse for the wear already………as we pass through Lifford at 8.30 and head for the big smoke. Everyone is yapping nine to the dozen about the amazing scenes the night before at Finn Park, where Harps had tanked Kilkenny City 6-0. Everyone except poor old Mr A. Harps prized drummer had been yelping with excitement for weeks at the prospect of his international call up and drumming for Ireland in front of 30,000 people with his beloved Big Blue Drum, arrangements having been made with the FAI security staff for a few key individuals (mostly from Harps and Derry) to bring in their noise makers. Alas, this is Finn Harps and fate had been cruel as usual, as the trusty drum - going well in its third season of action – had given up the ghost at the Kilkenny game just hours earlier. A key component had snapped and rendered the drum about as useful as a Fathers Day card in the Bogside.

As we trundle onward the excitement settles down and eventually the familiar ‘Harps bus’ sound of Gingernuts rabbiting on incessantly about something or other (occasionally replaced by the familiar sound of someone ripping the piss out of Gingernuts or hitting him with something heavy) is only punctuated by the ringing of mobile phones. This of course causes mass confusion each time as a survey reveals that 94% of the passengers on the bus have “The Finn Harps Song” as their mobile ringtone. Mr T is foolishly hoping to hit Dublin by 5.00pm in order to meet ‘the ticketman’ and re-distribute the match tickets to the company (and just to further confuse the issue several more Harps fans we must meet in Dublin in crowds of 1,000s) in plenty of time. As the strict 30 minute food stop (although considerably more liquids are consumed than solids) in Carrickmacross drags on past the 45 minute mark, he sadly resigns himself to watching the game in a pub. Probably a pub in Carrrickmacross.

Several lifetimes and some 38 piss stops later, we finally hit the Capital, and Mr T’s spirits raise somewhat as it’s not long after 5.00. That’s until the bus turns on to the top of Gardiner Street to be greeted by the sight of approximately a billion cars crawling slowly towards the Liffey, despite the fact that it’s a Saturday afternoon. Mr T opens another can.

As the bus inches towards the Quays several key members of the FBTN, despite a piss stop just before the M50, now begin to look slightly uneasy. Finally they can take it no more and, banking on the continued slow progress, dismount and skip (well stumble) across in front of several lanes of bemused motorists to the busy footpath. Mr D had pointed out a pub a few hundred yards ahead on the corner, however our Hat fans are desperate, heading for a very posh looking hotel right beside them and marching straight in. Seconds later they march straight out again, looking increasingly desperate and pursued by a cold stare from an elderly doorman. After fruitless attempts to find relief in a B&B and a backpackers hostel en route they finally give up and take the easy option in the pub, as the bus passes them out having made faster progress down the street than they did! The bus pulls in momentarily to await the emptying of the tanks, and watch in bemusement as the lads eventually emerge from the bar……having taken time to stock up with fresh bottles of Heineken.

With plans to abandon the bus and walk the last few miles having been seriously discussed the gang finally edge their way along the canal towards the rendezvous point at the Landsdowne Bar. Looking for somewhere to abandon the wheels the driver is suddenly startled by wailing sirens and beeping of horns from behind. All eyes to the rear and the Harps fans are amazed to see a police escorted coach almost jammed against the back window as the Irish team try to get past the Harps minibus and get to the game. Cue much waving of Harps scarves and flags out of the window and as the driver finally gets pulled in to let the irate Gardai and coach driver past we see the team flash by, Packie Bonner looking very embarrassed for some reason.

The Landsdowne bar, at last, the tribe descend on the bar while Mr T goes to find 34 tickets in the swelling crowds with little over and hour to kick-off. No sign yet of the ‘Gerry the ticketman’ and as the Harps fans settle into their pints Mr T begins to fear for his safety as the punters are getting restless. Thankfully, several phone calls later Gerry arrives on cue, and clutching a grubby list Mr T is torn to pieces by the vultures, but emerges with the books balanced and everybody sorted, even managing to pick up 2 spares for the bus driver and his kid. Just time for a quick celebratory pint and its time to pile into the packed North Tce with around a thousand other eL fans.

As the Harps fans file towards their seats we realise that we have somehow been positioned in row right behind the Derry contingent. This has the makings of an interesting afternoon, especially when as the Mr Men pass by a mucker shouts “Hi, Mr A, get up here, we’ve a spare drum”. Like a kid who’s just been given the key to the sweetie shop, Mr A vaults several rows of seats in excitement and takes up position with the drummers of Derry City and St Pats, while the rest of the comrades file in behind and renew acquaintances with the muckers, reminding them who currently holds the NW Fans Derby Cup. We’ll not mention the match, the less said about most of it the better, but the North terrace was the place to be, with the eL fans singing non stop throughout, drums bangng and flags flying. The Harps fans had the time of their lives meeting sound fans from almost every club, including one poor bugger from Kilkenny who finds himself right beside us. Co-ordination takes a while to get right but everyone agrees the atmosphere is vastly improved with the road which greets the Irish winner nearly collapsing the temporary seating!

Everyone re-groups at the bus reasonably quickly, mostly having replenished supplies at an offie beside the ground, and its back on the road again. Again piss stops abound and the Mr Men are giving the FBTN a run for their title of drunkest fans in Ireland. Indeed to add insult to injury the FBTN are forced to send their least sensible (honorary) member into the pub in Castleblayney to extract a few Mr Men to the waiting bus. Several long sleeps, intense Harps related debates and games of paper/scissors/stone later, the bedraggled gang go their separate ways leaving the bedraggled bus driver to clean up the very bedraggled bus. Mr T is already taking names for tickets for Wednesday, when we have to do it all again.

Wednesday, 11th June 2003, Ireland vs Georgia
The success of the eL fans input having been widely recognised in the press, and another vital qualifier to go, its time to do it all again. Having recovered from Saturdays exertions and secured even more tickets than before, most of the Harps fans board their bus again, numbers slightly depleted as many are making their own way down as it’s a weekday. This includes Mr T who has managed to be in Dublin for work since the night before, leaving ever so slightly more time to collect and organise tickets this time. The trip is less eventful, especially as the bus driver has perhaps wisely banned drinking on the bus, therefore slightly reducing the amount of alcohol being consumed on board.

The first hitch does not occur till the party hit Dublin, where the same bus with the same driver and largely the same passengers cannot remember the way to Landsdowne Road. The people who had directed the driver previously are missing, and several of them are phoned and attempt to pilot the gang in the right direction by ‘remote control’. Its to no avail and as is traditional for Harps supporters bus they are hopelessly lost. For once however fate intervenes in their favour, when after spending half an hour driving up and down very familiar looking streets thronged with Ireland supporters they stop at a pedestrian crossing. There is a moment of stunned silence as Mr T walks across the road in front of the bus, before he is yelled at and dragged on board. With time running late as usual, tickets are distributed, parking is found and we head back to our seats on the North Terrace.

A solid display from Ireland and another great atmosphere, assisted by the organisation of a green card display, the addition of huge flags and of course the eL fans. But the excitement didn’t end there for our friend Mr T. While on a stroll down the front of the stand at half time a chance meeting with one of the co-ordinators of the fans displays leads to him being brought down to pitchside behind the goals to have a quick chat, along with fans of several other clubs, to the new FAI Chief Executive Fran Rooney who has backed the plan to involve eircom League fans. Cue some intelligent discussions with the top man of Irish football….meanwhile Mr T seems more excited by the appearance of the Eircom Mouse and joins an Athlone fans in an impromptu dance with the mascot while Sky TV cameras hover nearby. Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time, or so he claimed. No doubt Mr Rooney was impressed by our Harps representative!

The rest as they say is history. Plans are ongoing to repeat the eircom League initiative at the vital home qualifier with Russia next month, while several of the ringleaders from these trips have booked flights to Switzerland in October and are now attempting to secure tickets. DTTR as ever will keep you posted of developments for the Russia match, and with a bit of luck……

Portugal here we come!!!!