MacCool

UP IN Donegal ‘singer’ Daniel O’Donnell received an MBE from the Queen of England. 

It should be remembered that those in charge of the British army on Bloody Sunday were rewarded for their efforts on that day.
Good old Captain Robert Nairac (British army murder squad leader) received a medal for failing in his task around about south Armagh.

Charlie Haughey received a teapot from Margaret Thatcher, then British Primer Minister, in anticipation of his about-turn on extradition.
Solicitors Finucane and Rosemary Nelson were assassinated by British agents in recognition of the ‘real and present’ threat they posed to Britain’s control of the six counties.

However up until recently newspaper reports suggest that apart from a yearly stipend for key membership figures, the Provos will receive nothing for their sterling efforts to maintain British rule over the northeast of Ireland.

Sensationally it has emerged over the past few days through leaks to the media that the British may believe they are playing things too tough and that some measure of recognition to the ordinary ‘rank and file’ Provo is necessary.

IMMEDIATELY leading Provos suggested a cash  payment followed by weekly increment (a British pension to ‘ordinary people’ like you and me) would be very welcome.

It has been stated that medals for ‘services rendered’ may be issued. No pensions for the good old IRA but medals (wooden) may be issued. This is the latest spin on the ‘peace process’. It seems that certain leading former republican figures are demanding that they be issued a British pension book for their recent services to the Queen. No such luck ‘lads’.

This ‘promised’ issue of medals has resulted in great debate among the Provos. It is recalled that in order to mint the Victoria Cross the British used a bronze cannon from the Crimean War (Charge of the Light Brigade and all that British heroic stuff etc) and produced their famous medal from that material. Debate among the Provos as to the source of the valueless metal from which their worthless medals would be made has become extremely intense.

Some suggested taking an AK 47 and melting it down for the medal-making purpose, however someone pointed out that all AK 47s had already been decommissioned! 

Someone then suggested melting down the keys of the Provo office in Westminster – this chat finished quickly with Gerry pointing out that if they didn’t lock up the office the British would rob the place blind. (‘Look what they did to our country,’ someone pointed out. ‘Strike that from the record,’ a west Belfast accent instructed. ‘Hear, hear!’ a Derry accent added. The act was duly committed.)

AS I write the debate  goes on. However  when the British decide how they reward the Provo’s this column will be the fist to let you know. 

Watch this space!
 

- Mac Cool