The Lone Rangers A Screenplay by: Sean Ryan
Copyright 2003/2004 registered with the Screenwriter's Guild All Rights Reserved
Contact: seansshack@oceanfree.net
INT. BETTING OFFICE - DAY Two figures in front of a safe. One is standing; the other is kneeling, in front of the number panel on the safe. TOM POWER is 21, slightly overweight with long black hair. He punches in numbers, being called out to him by Jim. JIM RYAN is 20 years of age. He is a skinny-framed man with black greasy hair. A large clank as the safe unlocks. Tom opens the door. Both smile as the contents become visible. The safe is empty. TOM Jumping Jesus bollock almighty motherfucking cocksucking baby raping bastard on toast. JIM Where the feck is the money? Jasus, where the feck is the money? Tom falls to the floor and sits there with his mouth open. Jim also looks shocked, but runs over to MR. PHILLIPS. Phillips is a middle age, overweight balding man with bad acne. JIM Where the feck is the money? TOM I would have told you, had you given me the time. I wasn't working on Saturday, so the money was deposited in the night safe across the street. JIM Ah bollock, bollock. (turns to face Tom) Bollock. Some fecking plan. Now what do we do? Tom sits on the floor. JIM Tom. Tom. Wake the fuck up man. What the Jesus are we going to do now man? TOM What can we do? That's it. We're fecked. JIM Oh great. We just feck off and that's it? Without the money? TOM What can we do ye gob? There is no money, unless you plan on hitting the Bank across the street. JIM No that's it. I've had enough. I'm going home. TOM Lets feck off, before the customers start coming in. Untie that crowd and lets get the hell out of dodge. JIM Untie them! But what if they call the guards? Tom walks over to Phillips. TOM You won't say shit will you? Unless you want me to visit your wife. MR. PHILLIPS You have my word. JIM (sarcastically) Oh I feel much better now. The two untie Phillips. INT. FRONT ROOM OF BETTING SHOP - DAY The room is a small, typical office. Jim and Tom enter, Phillips follows closely behind. Two women are tied together and sitting on the floor. They look relieved that Phillips is OK. MRS. WHITE, early fifties. Average height and build is tied to CATHY MORRISSEY, young, small and over weight. Jim starts to untie the two women. Tom takes a Coke from the vending machine, opens it and walks to the window. TOM Hurry up will ye. As he approaches the window, his face drops along with the can of Coke. The can hits the floor with a crash and spills. JIM What is it? TOM Looks like we're truly fucked. The view is shown for the first time. The street is full of Garda cars, vans, armed Garda and soldiers. Tom ducks out of view. TOM Jasus. Jasus. Jasus. Jasus. Jim rushes over to see what's going on and drops to the ground as quickly as Tom had done. JIM How the feck? TOM Someone must have tripped an alarm. MR. PHILLIPS No one did. He walks over to the window. But Tom pushes him back. GUARD (on megaphone) We know you're in there. We know who you are. Come out with your arms in the air. You have five minutes to surrender. TOM Bull shit. Move away from the window. We don't want you signaling anyone. JIM What now? TOM Well, I'm not going to prison. I can tell you that much. We can make demands and get a bus or something, just like in Dog Day afternoon. JIM Oh great. Another movie where it all fecks up. Which one am I? TOM (laughs) Pacino's boyfriend. The one getting the sex change. JIM Great, me day just keeps getting better. The two share a smile. Tom looks down at his gun and grips the handle tightly. JIM What are you thinking? TOM About busting out of here. Jim laughs. JIM Did you see the amount of cops outside? We wouldn't get five feet. Tom tosses the gun from hand to hand and gets to his feet. He starts to jump up and down, like a boxer preparing for a fight. TOM You with me? JIM Feck no. I'm not gonna die today. TOM Who said anything about dying? I said lets get the feck out of here. JIM Tom, unless it's escaped your attention, we're kinda surrounded by Gardai and we're only armed with fecking pellet guns. I think we are kinda fecked. TOM Come on Jim. Just like Butch and Sundance. The Lone Rangers. JIM Tom. Will you please stop using movie references where the heroes get fecking killed? Things are bad enough at the minute without you constantly reminding me. TOM What do you mean? Butch and Sundance didn't die. They escaped. JIM Tom, they were surrounded by hundreds of men, of course they died. That was the whole point. They would rather burn out than fade away. They died together. Tom looks at Jim for a moment, before swallowing his spit. TOM How about it partner? Looks like we've made it to the end of the trail. Wanna go out in a blaze of glory? Give the old feckers in this town something to talk about, for years to come. The Lone Rangers. We'll never be forgotten. Jim looks at Tom for the longest time. JIM Can't leave my mate go it alone, now can I? Besides imagine what my Dad will do if he gets his hands on me. Jim stands up and grabs Tom's hand. The two hug each other and each look like they're about to cry. Tom pushes Jim away at the same time Jim steps back. TOM Feck off will ye. Getting all girlie on me. You ready? JIM Just like Butch and Sundance huh? TOM Yeah. Just like Butch and Sundance. MR. PHILLIPS No wait a second... The two rush through door and burst out into the street. Jim runs left, aiming his gun high. Tom runs right, aiming his gun low. EXT. OUTSIDE BETTING OFFICE - DAY Freeze frame image of the two, running from the door of the betting office. TOM (V.O.) I think we may be getting a bit ahead of ourselves here. We need to take you back a bit first. JIM (V.O.) How far? TOM (V.O.) A week should do. JIM (V.O.) Sounds good. Hopefully we don't come off as being total wasters. TITLE: ONE WEEK EARLIER. INT. BEDROOM - DAY Tom Power is lying on a bed. The room is a mess. Clothes are thrown in piles on the floor. A collection of empty beer cans are stacked in the corner of the room. The walls of the room are covered with various posters, ranging from rock bands to half naked models. Tom starts to wake, scratching himself in his privates as he does. Looking at his watch he sees the time. TOM (talking to himself) 11:30. Feck it, the middle of the night. He rubs his face in an attempt to wake himself up. TOM (talking to himself) Time for a little mood music. He jumps naked from the bed and starts to move some large items from the far corner of the room. Sliding them across the floor, they appear to be very large wooden speakers. Tom positions one at either corner of the room and sets up a smaller second set of speakers, and then a third. When the wiring is complete, he takes a vinyl record from its sleeve and blows dust from it, before inspecting it with care. Tom places the record on the deck and starts to play a selected track. His chosen song begins, as Tom starts to conduct an imaginary orchestra with his hands and the song builds up. Moments later he picks up a hairbrush and starts to sing the lyric's into the brush handle, waving to an imaginary crowd, at the far side of the bedroom. When the song reaches the chorus, Tom picks up a tennis racket from the floor and starts to play guitar with it. The windows in the room vibrate from the loud music playing within. INT. KITCHEN - DAY Tom's mother KATHLEEN POWER is making breakfast at an old style cooker. A middle aged, slightly overweight woman. His father SEAMUS POWER sits at the dining table reading the sports section of a newspaper. Mid forties, balding and sporting the physical frame of someone who has played a lot of sport in his day. The plates on a French dresser shake from the vibrations caused by the music above. Kathleen runs over to the dresser just in time to catch a plate before it hits the ground. SEAMUS POWER Jasus and all that is holy. Do you fecking believe that little prick? He'll come through the fecking floor one of these days. Go up and talk to him woman, before I kick the living shite out of him. KATHLEEN POWER He's your son Seamus. You know the rule. I deal with the girls. You get the nutcase. SEAMUS POWER Ah come on woman. Me arthritis is killing me. Seamus rubs his knee. KATHLEEN POWER (shouting) All right then, just this once. But you owe me. Louder bangs are heard as Tom bounces around in the room above. SEAMUS POWER That's me girl. He slaps her on the backside as she passes. She lets out a whelp and giggles like a little girl. INT. BEDROOM - DAY Tom is really getting into the song. Playing his heart out on his imaginary guitar. Tom jumps onto the bed and begins to jump up and down while playing cords on the tennis racket. TOM (singing) When I hear th... The door opens and Kathleen Power walks in. She is greeted to a full frontal view of her son, playing guitar stark naked, bouncing around on his bed. KATHLEEN POWER Jesus Mary and Joseph. She covers her eyes to shield herself and backs out of the room in a hurry. Tom continues on oblivious to what has happened. KATHLEEN POWER (shouting) Seamus, Seamus. Get up here and deal with your son. INT. KITCHEN - DAY SEAMUS POWER Ah for Jasus sake. Seamus Rolls us the newspaper and stars to run upstairs. INT. BEDROOM - DAY Tom jumps into the air and swings his arm wildly to hit a note on the tennis guitar. FREEZE FRAME FRONTAL OF TOM (ABOVE WAIST). TITLE: TOM POWER. UNEMPLOYED. 21. MUSIC LOVER. SINGLE. UNFREEZE. Seamus comes crashing through the door, paper in hand. SEAMUS POWER You feck witted egit. Come here. Seamus lashes out with the rolled up newspaper and misses Tom. TOM Ah shite. Tom jumps off the bed and runs from the room. INT. HALLWAY - DAY Tom runs at full speed, naked down the hall towards a bathroom. He bounces from wall to wall, trying to control himself as he heads towards the bathroom at the end of the hall. Tom's impacts cause Holy pictures and ornaments to rattle and fall of the walls in various locations. SEAMUS POWER Come here you little bastard. Two of Tom's sisters open their doors to see what the commotion is about. They are faced with the full frontal flight of their brother. The mixed sounds of laughter and screams fill the hall, as each girl reacts differently, but with similar ear deafening responses. Seamus runs after Tom, but fails to catch him before he enters the bathroom and locks it shut. Seamus slaps into the closed door and bounces back onto his backside. INT. BEDROOM - DAY Another bedroom, similar in size. This room is tidier than the other. Movie posters litter the walls. Jim Ryan sits slumped in front of a Computer, playing a computer game. He looks like he hasn't slept for days. Jim starts to fall asleep at the keyboard when the door to the bedroom opens. Jim's father, JOHN RYAN walks in. Early forties, tall and broad. JOHN RYAN. Don't tell me you spent the night playing games again, you little waster? John Ryan raises his hand, to clip Jim around the head. JIM No. I just got up early. JOHN RYAN You'd better be telling the truth. Get your ass down stairs and have some breakfast. Then get down the job center and make something of yourself. Jim Ryan turns to leave the room.